Subliminal Sentiments
by ShallowShadows
Summary: Trapped in a suddenly completely twisted reality, he only wanted to find reasons. Reasons why he was feeling this way, why his comrade was acting so strange, and why he had had such a strange dream to begin with. Kanda/Lavi
1. Confusion

SS: I finally had some spare time to release this story! In fact, I've had this first chapter done for a while now, I just hadn't gotten around to posting it online. This is my first DGM fanfiction, a Kanda/Lavi to boot, and I plotted each chapter out beforehand for once. -laughs- I can only hope it turns out well by the end of it.

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

**WARNING! Before you read, please take note:** This story contains **m/m**,** or slash**, meaning non-canon male with male love/romance and mature content. If you don't like that, or can't handle adult themes, I suggest you stop and press the back button on your browser. Thank you.

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**Chapter 1 Confusion**

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"Yu! Yu!" Twisting to look behind him, the Japanese man glared venom at the person that annoying, hyperactive voice belonged to. Ugh! Did he _always_ have to call him by his given name? Okay, so he was feeling like being a little _nice_ today. He wasn't going to kill the idiot, or mention about it at all. "Wait up, will you?" Panting, Lavi slouched his stance slightly as he stopped in front of the older boy. "Why do you have to always disappear like that? We're on this mission together, remember?"

Kanda turned back around, being his usual cold self, while his hair practically smacked Lavi in the face like a whip. "Together or not, I don't need your help," he snapped, speeding his walking pace up. "You only get in my way. Why don't you make yourself useful for once? Stop following me around and go look for the damn Innocence back at that old inn with those idiot finders!" Without looking back, he faded into the darkness of the hall up ahead.

Frowning, Lavi stood straight up and lightly scratched the back of his neck. Did Kanda always have to be so mean? Ah well, there was nothing he could really do about that. Yu was Yu, after all. Heaving a heavy sigh, the bookman in training started to wander back to the inn his comrade had been referring to, but the sound of a shriek startled him. "YU?" Bolting up into that hall he ended up slamming into someone of similar height to him and tripped backward to the ground. "Ow…"

"You stupid idiot, get up!" Kanda growled, rubbing the spot Lavi hit the hardest on himself. "I can't believe you! You're only getting in the way yet _again_!" Kanda glared at him, and it was obvious the redhead could see it in the dark in a vague sense.

Lavi gave him a pout and rose back up to his feet. "Well excuse me for worrying about you-"

"_Worrying_ about me? Are you saying you think I scream like a woman?" Lavi blinked a few times fast at him, seeming confused. "Don't act dumb, you came running because you thought I was screaming, right?"

Crossing his arms, the bookman stuck his nose in the air, acting as if he really hadn't cared or anything. What would be the point with this guy, anyway? He was far too stubborn for his own good! "Pfft, no. Besides, that sounded like a man, not a woman." Kanda stared at him weirdly and walked closer, grabbing him by his scarf. Lavi gasped, feeling himself being choked. "Y-Yu?" he wheezed, reaching his hands up desperately to pull the other's off. Wait, was he-?

"Just checking to see if you're really you," Kanda said sharply, releasing his grip and causing the other man to fall to his knees, gasping for air. "There have been occasions where that Noah would show up and disguise herself as one of us, or even akuma that have that ability." Lavi couldn't help but shoot the other a glare.

"And you honestly thought _I_ was an akuma or Noah?" Lavi huffed, pushing himself back up. "Grow up, Yu! Don't look for excuses to choke me simply because you're mad that you mistook a scream for a girl's and not a boy's." Wait, why wasn't he getting a 'tch' or 'che' in response? Blinking, baffled, the redhead moved back closer to his comrade. "Yu - mmph?" A hand was suddenly over his mouth and his only visible emerald hue drifted to stare at the Japanese man.

"Quiet," Kanda commanded in a whisper, seeming to be staring at some movement up ahead in the shadows. "You're too noisy. You're going to get us killed." Moving his hand down, the samurai walked silently up further, Lavi trailing as close behind him as possible. Places like this always seemed to weird him out.

Almost tripping twice because Kanda kept stopping short, the younger male sighed softly and stopped in place. Well, there was really no harm in asking. Tapping his partner on the shoulder, he spoke in a low, quiet voice. "Yu… what did you see up ahead?"

Getting annoyed by now that his given name was being abused more than it needed to be, the brunet turned around slowly, narrowing his eyes. "Call me that one more time and you won't live to find out," he growled, also speaking in a low and quiet voice. "Anyway, I thought I heard something, then I saw shadows that seemed to belong to a human being… I think there's someone else here besides us."

Pondering that thought a moment, the red haired boy scratched one of his cheeks lightly with one finger. Well, knowing Kanda with his amazing ears and eyesight, there probably really was someone up ahead. Or _something_ for that matter. "Y'think it could be an akuma? Maybe two, three, possibly more?" Lavi glanced further down the hall, squinting his eye a bit. Ah! Now he'd seen it, too!

"It's possible," the other replied, noticing the surprise on the second exorcist's face as he looked back at him. "You saw it too?"

"Yeah, think so." Lavi moved up to Kanda's side now instead, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe we should stay as close together as possible… If it is an akuma, there are bound to be more lurking around these corridors." The Japanese rolled his eyes, pushing Lavi's arm off. In turn, the redhead blinked a few times fast, shooting him yet another pout.

Kanda only glared, keeping his composure as best he could. It was always so damn difficult around this rabbit-brat, though! "Stop that, I told you I don't need your help. I can handle them on my own." Moving forward once more, he didn't even bother waiting or checking to see if Lavi was still following.

A slightly melancholy look crossed Lavi's face. Did the guy always have to be so cold and heartless? No, he knew Kanda by now. He was hiding his emotions, forcing others to stay away, all that because he thought they only got in his way. Sighing, Lavi messed with his headband a little then continued down the hall, squinting his eye to see if he could find the other in the dark.

Okay, so he hadn't expected to find him like _this_. Bam! Right hard into his comrade, in fact. Well, at least he found him again. Rubbing his nose, the emerald eyed man blinked a few times fast only to find Kanda had whipped around and was glaring fiercely at him. Gulping, Lavi stepped back. "You stupid _idiot_… You're trying to get us caught, aren't you?" the Japanese snapped, though his voice was a whisper filled with anger and venom.

"I'm sorry," Lavi apologized, bowing his upper body to emphasize. He knew about Japanese customs, so maybe, even if Kanda hadn't been raised in Japan, that would make Kanda a little less mad to see his 'friend' at least knew the proper way to apologize.

Blinking with a blank expression, Kanda smacked Lavi over the head lightly after a couple more seconds. "Don't do that," he said, surprise hidden deep in his voice. "It's… it's creepy. I'm not used to you doing that to me... I was expecting you to gasp then shoot your hands up all defensively."

"Well," the redhead smirked a bit, "I do enjoy shocking you. It's another form of teasing, y'know?"

Scowling, eyes narrowed, mouth twitching, Kanda turned back around with a huff and started to move down the hall again, leaving Lavi standing there, the younger boy only sighing. Kanda would never lighten up and take a joke, would he? Nope, it just wasn't possible.

Deciding it'd still be for the best if he kept close, but not too close so that Kanda wouldn't stab him with his sword, the junior bookman crept onward, keeping his guard up. If it were true there were akuma up ahead, or even a Noah, there was no doubt they'd more than likely be attacked from the shadows. Letting one's guard down at a time like this would be beyond stupid, common sense said.

"Yu," Lavi said quietly, noticing the dark-shrouded figure of his partner freeze up in the distance. "Yu, what's wrong? Did you spot it again?" No response. So Lavi spoke louder. "Yu! Did ya hear me?" Still nothing. With a sigh and shrug of his shoulders, long legs made him make his way towards the other, cautious with his actions and careful to not let his comrade out of his sight for even two seconds. What if it _wasn't _really Kanda?

To his relief he heard a slight growl sounding like 'Shut it!' Practically skipping up ahead, Lavi realized they'd basically done this several times now, but he didn't like how there was getting to be a bit too much distance between them to call comforting. "If we die, it's your fault." Kanda was scolding Lavi as soon as he'd made it up to him again. Ah, that was just like him to do.

"I'm not trying to be trouble," Lavi said in a soft tone, a smile moving along his features. "I'm only trying to stay close and support you. Even if you don't want the help, you're gonna get it, whether you like it or not."

Kanda scoffed. "Whatever," he grunted, twisting then suddenly stopping short before making it anywhere.

"W-what?" Lavi asked, slightly startled by the way his comrade was now acting. Had he heard something? Saw something? Bracing himself by lowering a hand to his thigh where his hammer rest in its holder, Lavi's only visible eye scanned the area looking for any signs of what just made Kanda react. Nothing… not a single sign. Had the older man really seen or heard something? "Yu… what did you-?"

Before he was capable of really finishing the question, Kanda had a hand over the other's mouth, a serious expression glowing on his pale features even in the dark. "It's you…" The two words were whispered directly into one of the emerald eyed man's ears, and Lavi let out a startled noise when he felt another hand making its way up his chest. What in the world was happening right now?

One sword-skilled hand was suddenly shifting to trail up Lavi's sides and he shivered when he felt nails digging into his waist. "Yu!" he gasped, moving his hands to grip at the older man's shoulders and hopefully push him away. "What… are you doing?" The attempt proved to be in vain, and Kanda's actual strength showed itself in full bloom when he shoved Lavi against the wall by both shoulders. Wincing, eye shut tight and body slightly trembling from shock, the redhead shifted and tried yet again to break free, this time of an even stronger grip.

Kanda obviously seemed mad about how Lavi kept trying to get loose from his grasp, because every single time Lavi squirmed, he shoved him into the wall again. And each time that happened, the younger would go still then slump back against the stone structure for a brief moment to regain some scattered wits. "Y-Yu," he started, dizzy from more than one thing. "What…?"

"Be quiet and obedient, and I'll be nice." The words invaded his ears and his abused brain tried to process their meaning. Quiet? Obedient? Nice? Oh, geez, this wasn't what he thought, it just couldn't be! Kanda didn't swing that way, or at least, he seemed to be completely uninterested in any type of thing like this overall, so _this_ was _not_ happening right now.

Frightened by the images in his mind, Lavi's emerald hue went wide. "I don't understand. Yu, I just…" He was interrupted by two fingers pressing firmly against his lips.

"There's no need to understand," the Japanese said in a low tone, staring at Lavi with a blank expression which only seemed to scare him more. "I want you, no, I _need _you, and you're not going to get away from me before I'm satisfied." What in the… was this really _Yu Kanda _speaking here? The very same man who'd always threaten Lavi with his long, sharp weapon every time he teased him to his breaking point? The only thing convincing Lavi that it was were his attitude and looks.

"But Yu," the redhead tried to argue, moving his hands to tug at long, silky side-bangs, "you can't, I mean, _I_ can't. It's not that I don't like you, it's well… It's complicated, I just don't think - mmph!" Lavi's excuses were ceased by lips pressing against his own, those other ones being warm and harsh. Quite frankly he just kicked his reasoning aside, letting his mouth be captured by the older man's fascinating, passionate kiss, movements unlike anything Lavi imagined they'd be. Not willing to disobey the silent command to continue, he tipped his head more and braced himself.

If there _did _happen to be an akuma there, it was sure as hell going to be in for a surprise. Lavi, on the other hand, was starting to become pretty certain the only demon here at the moment was the one his mouth was attached to, and that was saying a lot. He always knew Kanda to be rough, he just never imagined he'd be like this when it came to…

A small movement of his mouth just right caused Lavi to whine at the sensation, pulling the Asian closer by moving his arms around his back in response. A hoarse, surrendering noise escaped him when he felt Kanda's surprisingly strong, slender hands gripping his hips tight, not allowing the redhead to pull or push away. In return, Lavi dug his own fingers into the other's shoulder blades, gaining a lovely approval from Kanda.

A bead of nervous sweat trickled Lavi's chin after a few more seconds of their kiss, and when it finally broke, it left both boys gasping for air. Neither had wanted to part lips from one another and had the thing going for quite a while, but they _did_ need to breathe. Even with that thought in mind, Lavi found himself doing nothing to stop the mouth suddenly disappearing down his chin and to the front of his throat.

"Yu!" he shrieked, surprised when it came out in a husky manner. Apparently it only got to Kanda further because he heard a low growl as hands started tearing at the shirt Lavi wore under his coat. Shit, how did he get himself into this mess, anyway?

Before being capable of thinking deeper into the situation, a sharp bite to his collarbone made Lavi jump and shudder. "Take off your shirt," Kanda ordered in a low voice, hardly having the patience to want to take off his own, needless to say the other's as well. "I want to see you."

Obeying, the redhead started stripping himself as the Japanese pulled back. Wait… what were they doing? More importantly, where was this _leading_? Even with being confused by the sudden desire he got for his comrade, Lavi slid his coat down his shoulders then pulled his shirt up over his head. All he wanted to do right now was get rid of that feeling, and since his brain wasn't working the best, the only solution he came up with was to keep going.

Thankfully Lavi'd always been quick at getting dressed and undressed, so when he felt lips to his chest the instant he'd managed to get the shirt off completely, he shivered with delight. Kanda was sometimes patient or impatient, it really all depended on his mood. In this case, one could easily see he was _very_ annoyed at waiting.

"You gonna take your shirt off, too?" Lavi eyed the Asian with a strange look of amusement quickly growing in his only visible emerald eye. "Or should I help with that?" he added after noticing Kanda was fumbling with the many belts and buckles of his exorcist coat.

Seeming to realize why the other asked that, Kanda slowed his, unlike him, clumsy pace to have an easier time with undoing the coat. Grinning, Lavi reached a hand, gripping at the older man's. "Hold it, hold it. You sure we shouldn't wait and rethink this through? I mean, we wouldn't want to be embarrassed later on when we come back to our senses, would we?"

Narrowing his dark hues, the samurai slapped the other's hand away. "Tch. I don't give a damn right now, rabbit-brat," was the response which only made the mongrel sigh in relief.

"That's good, 'cause I don't think I can stop now, anyway," Lavi replied quickly before tugging roughly at the Japanese's upper arms, pulling him into a passionate kiss like before. Only, this time, he seemed to be the one taking control.

Kanda growled in the back of his throat, digging fingers into Lavi's shoulders, obviously a bit upset by the turn of events. He loved the kiss, there was no doubt about it, but he didn't like being shifted into the, what he considered to be, 'feminine' partner. He'd gotten teased enough about looking like a woman even though his voice and body was nothing like one's! Sneakily moving as per usual, Kanda made sure to cease Lavi's movements… _harshly_. Lavi collapsed to the ground, holding himself with a hiss.

Bending down, head tilting a little while a non-sympathetic look sprawled across his face, Kanda extended a hand to dig into Lavi's scalp, getting a hold of a huge chunk of his dark-red hair. Pulling, he lifted the other's head, a smirk perking his cheeks up when he noticed the anger in the other's half-narrowed eye. "What? Didn't like that? It's your own damn fault."

"You… are a bastard…" Lavi murmured in a hoarse voice, mainly from the pain he was feeling. Geez, he could've easily been killed with how hard he'd been kneed!

With a nod, Kanda let go. "I know, and I don't really care, either. Besides, you shouldn't expect me to go easy or give into you anyway. Don't you know me by now, Lavi?" Icy blue-black eyes stared sharply into an emerald one, still not the slightest bit of mercy or regret showing for what he'd just done. This was no surprise, of course. Yu Kanda was known to be _much_ colder on his darker days.

Swallowing, Lavi glanced down and placed one of his hands against the floor, making an attempt at getting up. Unfortunately, luck didn't seem to be on his side, because a sword was drawn from a sheath like lightening and was now gently leaning against his neck. "Er… you gonna kill me or something? While I'm down? Ain't that considered dishonorable in Japan?" The sharp metal object slid further up to directly under Lavi's chin and forced his head upwards.

"Actually, I'd much rather prefer making you suffer…" Those words were said in a cruel tone of voice as he pressed the sword to the other boy's throat, enough to leave a red mark behind, but not enough to pierce the skin. "Get up. _Now_," Kanda ordered, guiding Lavi up with Mugen still to his neck.

"I don't know what you're planning, but…" Pausing as he got up fully, Lavi smirked a little at the merciless expression on his comrade's face. "Just promise not to kill me… I have a panda to succeed, y'know- oh _shit_!" The sword was quick to disappear as hands groping Lavi's chest prevented him from continuing to speak coherent things, his own hands shooting up to grip at the other's shoulders. Much to his dismay and surprise though, he felt each hand get ripped off. "Yu-?"

Kanda pressed two fingers to Lavi's mouth, stopping him before he could say anymore. "You can't touch me. That's part of your punishment."

Lavi's eye went wide and he voiced a complaint in the manner of an incoherent whining noise through those fingers against his lips. What the hell? He couldn't touch him? It was part of his punishment? Damnit, that was _not_ fair! "Bmf Nnu!" Of course, those muffled words translated to the usual 'But Yu!' Annoyed by how he couldn't talk, the redhead moved one of his own hands up, snatching Kanda's wrist and pulling those fingers off. "Geez, finally. Now as I was about to say-" Unfortunately, or rather, fortunately, the older man caught his lips in a kiss, causing Lavi to forget what he was about to say.

Punishment… oh boy, this had to be the best punishment Lavi could remember having in his entire life. And considering his damn good memory, being able to remember whatever he so desired perfectly, that was saying a lot.

As soon as yet another of their amazing kisses ended, Lavi had his mouth on the older man's neck, kissing up and down it while Kanda gently massaged the hammer wielder's sides. Their actions seemed to bring them back to where they just were, though, because in less than a second, their mouths were glued back together, hands clawing at backs and chests to try to gain control of the situation.

And just when Lavi found himself wishing this would never stop, Kanda suddenly lifted his hands to the Lavi's shoulders, shaking him wildly. "W-what?" He couldn't tell what the Asian was saying because it sounded murmured, but gradually the sounds grew and an emerald orb shut tightly at the words 'wake up.' Snap! Eye now open again, Lavi gazed up at the two figures hovering over him. "Wha…? Yu? Allen?"

Allen was the first to speak, a sigh of relief moving past his lips as he smiled. "Lavi! Thank goodness! You seemed to be having a nightmare or something, but now you're finally awake!" Nightmare? Was this kid for real? That whole thing was a dream? It wasn't like Lavi to not be able to separate dreams from reality, and he found himself lost in thought as he tried to figure out why he had such a dream in the first place.

"What the hell were you even dreaming about, rabbit-brat?" Kanda asked curiously out of the blue, moving up from the bed and standing. Lavi blinked at him with a slightly freaked out expression. That guy…

After a few seconds of pondering, Lavi's expression quickly softened and he smiled. "You care, Yu? How touching!" he teased, sitting up against the headboard as he peeked under the covers. Hmm, he was all tucked in and in night clothes, so he couldn't have just fallen asleep there by mistake. Wait, why couldn't he even remember where he was or why Kanda and Allen were both with him? Oh, wait, they were on a mission, right? But still, what in the world could've made him have _that_ type of dream about Yu Kanda of all people?

"Hmph," the older man grunted, taking a seat on a bed next to the one Lavi was on. "I don't really care, but you were saying my name in a… weird way."

"Weird? How so?" Lavi blinked a few times fast, recalling some of the events from his dream. Oh, geez… Why was it he still found it alluring? He was pretty certain he was straight, so how come?

The way Kanda was now looking at Lavi basically broke his thoughts into tiny pieces, because the oldest of the three was glaring like a rattle snake ready to sink its fangs into a helpless mouse. Allen sighed and moved to the edge of Lavi's bed, scratching the back of his head a bit, seeming slightly embarrassed by what he'd heard. He decided to answer for their Japanese comrade. "You were _moaning_ his name, Lavi… It was weird. You're feeling okay, right?"

The redhead basically just sat there, his gaze moving back and forth between his two fellow exorcists, both with similar emotions mixed in with their different expressions. There was Kanda, who looked completely pissed off about it, then Allen, who seemed to have found what happened simply bizarre. At the same time, they both shared the emotion of curiosity, though.

"Of course!" the junior bookman chirped quickly. "I feel fine! It was a random and freaky dream! To be honest, I don't even remember it well now!" Lavi waved his hands in a defensive gesture after saying that, fearing Kanda was going to choke him if he said one thing he considered wrong. Did he always have to be so life-threateningly scary? "I really don't!" Lavi added, gulping when he noticed fingers creeping towards the sword resting by the Kanda's bedside.

"Good," Yu snapped, twisting to snatch his sword. "I'm going. You two do whatever you want, just make sure you're no where in my sight until later on this morning. I want to get this mission over with as fast as possible. Don't be late waking up in other words or I'll leave you behind." With those things said, he was gone in a matter of three seconds.

"Yu is so moody," Lavi said, a sigh tying into the last word of his sentence. "It was only a stupid dream, it didn't mean anything." Even though he had said it aloud, and kept repeating those words over and over again in his mind, Lavi couldn't help but feel it was a lie. He still found Kanda hot… and was _still_ wishing the dream had gone on forever. But why? He didn't get it at all.

Allen laughed a little and got up, wandering over to his bed. He took a moment to get comfy then waved a hand at Lavi. "That's Bakanda for you, right? Anyway, don't worry about it. I found it strange to hear you saying Kanda's first name in such a way like him, but it's not really a big deal. I've had weird dreams before myself, even Kanda, I bet." He twisted to his side and stared over at the older one.

The mongrel blinked a few times fast. "You have?" he asked, sounding almost surprised to hear that, assuming Allen meant ones like his at first.

"Yes, of course!" The teenager's voice was reassuring, but it was to be expected. It was just like Allen to try to comfort others. "Is it really that unusual to have a freaky dream? I mean, it's actually very natural if you think about it. Most dreams are pretty bizzare."

Lavi smiled and snuggled back under the covers, his head resting on an arm as he turned to his side as well. Well, it seemed Allen didn't _truly_ know about Lavi's after all, but that didn't matter. "I'm not entirely sure everyone has a dream like mine, though." He shifted and laid on his back once more, eye drifting up to stare at the ceiling blankly. Was Allen right? Was it just something bound to happen, even _this_ kind of dream? Lavi's recallings of psychological study in youth did bring back memories about dreams, but not much.

"I kind of pity you, Lavi. I can't even imagine what it was about exactly, considering the range of different noises you were making. You almost sounded like you were in pain, was Kanda hurting you or something? I mean, when Master and I used to travel together, I would always wake up crying in the middle of the night because of him haunting my dreams." Again, the cursed teen was laughing as he mimicked Lavi's movements. "Such a nightmare would scare the heck out of me with how frightening he can be! If I were you, I'd have ran out of the room screaming bloody murder!"

"I hope you're not being serious, kid," the redhead joked, easily able to tell there was sarcasm in the other's voice. "I wouldn't want to see you getting kicked out of the inn for something like a silly old dream."

Allen sighed. "Well, I wouldn't really. Just, I'd be pretty freaked out. I used to stay up a few hours after, trying to fall back to sleep." A small frown showed on his face with that comment, as if he were actually pondering the images in his head. Allen had always been sensitive, so of course having dreams of his Master beating him up more would scare him. "Oh no! Now you've got me picturing my old dreams, Lavi! _Eep_!"

"_Me_? _You're_ the one who's thinking too much into it!" Both of the boys were suddenly laughing, and after another half hour of chit-chatting, they'd finally managed to settle down, being too tired to think needless to say carry on the conversation. Thankfully talking with Allen always seemed to make Lavi feel better, and he was able to sleep pretty soundly… at least for another hour or two.

xoxoxox

For whatever reason, Lavi found himself opening his eyelids to a dark and quiet room two hours later. Yawning, he laid there pondering about his dream again. Okay, he had to admit, the feelings he had for Kanda, the ones that remained from the 'nightmare', were mainly gone by now. Apparently the little bit of sleep had done the redhead good in that sense. Unfortunately, the images and vision itself were still there, causing Lavi to feel a tad uncomfortable as he recalled it all.

Shifting from bed in a quiet manner, Lavi reached for his coat and slung it over his shoulders, exiting the room while making sure he didn't disturb his peacefully sleeping comrade. More than anything he'd have loved to get back to sleep, because he really loved to get as much as he could, but was feeling pretty certain he wouldn't be able to. So, feeling hopeless, he wandered outside of the inn they were staying at.

It was pretty early in the morning, around 4 or 5am he guessed, the cool night air, birds chirping and moon's current position being three signs of it. Scattered blankets of stars still twinkled dimly in the dark blue clear skies, the lack of clouds making it seem all the more beautiful. Lavi'd always been used to star gazing; he'd done it a lot through his travels with bookman from place to place, but never really got a chance to examine the balls of fire admiringly like now. They really were gorgeous, and if he wasn't so out of it right now, he'd have laid down on the ground and fallen asleep right there under them.

Continuing along, he came across the small forest behind the inn and walked into it. The trees weren't very tall for the type they mainly were, so Lavi guessed this forest was fairly young, thirty years or so, and the scattered wild rose bushes all around made it look quite pretty. It was quiet, birds chirping being the only sounds besides crickets. He liked it that way, needless to say, but was kind of wishing some other type of noise would happen so nature didn't lull him back to sleep.

Apparently he got his wish when he came to a fair sized lake, the sound of a sword cutting through air making him turn his attention to a figure in the near distance. Wait, was that who he thought it was? There was only one person Lavi knew who wielded a sword and had long dark hair… "Yu," he said in a whisper, hiding behind a tree and keeping his distance from him. So this was where Kanda went off to. Deciding to stay and watch, since he knew he had nothing better to do, he crept along behind the trees.

It was only when he got closer did Lavi realize he'd made a big mistake by coming out here and watching him, because from the way the other looked, plus how the dream was still fresh in his mind, the bookman in training suddenly felt heat building in his face. "O-oh no," he stammered, finding he was frozen in place, his eye locked onto the second male. "I can't… not when I was almost done with these feelings…"

Bright beams of reflected light from the moon shined down, making the samurai's sword glow even if he hadn't activated his Innocence. From how light reflected off the silver and black blade, Kanda's eyes glowed a dark gray-blue, and his pale skin was slightly lit up as well. His long hair, due to how well it was taken care of, shined in the rays of moonlight as well, especially each time he moved his body, causing it to flutter through the air in its usual high ponytail. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which didn't help Lavi's composure, and it was easy to see he'd been training long and hard, for beads of sweat were all over him.

In other words, he looked absolutely, radiantly, outstandingly, stunning, and it took Lavi's breath away - literally. Struggling to keep his heartbeat steady, Lavi pondered what was going on with himself and what he should do about it. Why weren't these emotions going away, in fact, why were they growing ever stronger just from watching that other man? He always found Kanda to be handsome, but to have his lungs lock up over him simply scared the living soul out of the redhead. What exactly _were _these feelings? A crush? No… No… NO!

"Son of a bitch, _NO_!" He bit his tongue as soon as he realized he'd said those words aloud. As expected, Kanda froze in place briefly and seemed to peer back out of the corner of his eye. _Shit, shit, shit! _Lavi panicked, going as still as the actual trees were in this windless morning, heart beating around 99-miles-per-hour. _What should I do? I can't just… run away. He'll catch me that much easier. I… I don't know what to do… _Whether Lavi was unlucky or not, Kanda seemed to immediately know he was still there, standing there as if waiting for his stalker to come out on his own. Swallowing, Lavi decided to stay in place, hoping as hard as he could that the Asian wouldn't care anymore after some time went by. Sadly, Kanda wasn't that naïve and Lavi wasn't that lucky.

"Come out," the other said deeply, his voice in a threatening tone. "I know you're there. I heard you. My ears are sharp." Which was true. Lavi was actually quite surprised he hadn't been caught when he'd whispered to himself before shouting a few minutes ago.

Alarmed by his predicament and unaware that Kanda was slowly raising his sword, Lavi decided he'd do the thing which had the highest chances of sparing his life - to go out there and 'surrender'. Swallowing hard, the red-haired mongrel took a step out from the side of the tree and gave one of his usual sunny smiles to his comrade. "Yu! Eheh. It's just me, don't worry-" The sound of 'Hell's Insects' being called made Lavi almost scream, his words interrupted as he ran, being chased by at least three nasty bugs.

Kanda seemed almost surprised to find it was the bookman-in-training out there at first, head tilting to the side a bit, expression looking confused, but it quickly shifted to anger and annoyance as he called the creatures back. Shoving his sword into its holder, he made his way to the other boy who was on his knees by now, panting and exhausted. Crossing his arms, Kanda scowled. "What do you want, rabbit-brat?"

A frown struck the mongrel's lips when he heard that question, and just to further add to his mental chaos, Kanda threw in, "And what are you even _doing_ out here? Shouldn't you be sleeping with the beansprout?" Wincing, Lavi pushed himself up and shook his head, shoulders shrugging as if saying it didn't matter. That wasn't good enough for Kanda. "Tch! How annoying! Tell me now unless you want pain!" At this Lavi quirked a brow, causing the Japanese to narrow his eyes.

"And you care so much… why?" Lavi asked, voice sounding inquiring. Why _did_ the other man seem to care? Wouldn't he usually shrug it off with a scowl then walk off elsewhere?

"Because you were spying on me, you creepy rabbit!" the Asian growled, eyes narrowed sharper, teeth grit, and a fist clenched as if he were intending to knock the boy's lights out. This actually stunned Lavi to a certain extent because he hadn't imagined Kanda to be so mad over something as little as being watched by another comrade. Then again, was it the dream? Maybe it had bothered Kanda a lot, too, as it was the only other explanation Lavi could come up with.

Well, other than classifying his Japanese friend as manic depressive, that is, and that didn't make much sense. It was pretty clear up to this point that Kanda had some control over his temper, even if only a little, and was never in a super good mood. Pondering how to reply to the other's accusation, Lavi scratched his chin then stretched. "I wasn't spyin' on ya… I couldn't sleep so I wanted some fresh air. Is that so wrong, Yu-_chan_?" Maybe it was the way Lavi had said his first name, or how he had added the feminine/childish Japanese ending to it, or maybe it was both, but whatever the reason, Kanda snapped and drew his blade to Lavi's neck, the redhead responding by shooting his hands up in the air, waving frantically. "Wait!" he gasped.

"Give me a _damn_ good reason to!" Kanda growled, absolute furiousness in his voice. Why was he so mad? Lavi couldn't remember a time when the older man would get so upset over one simple action, needless to say some harmless words.

Gulping, he gently pressed fingers to a dull part on the other's sword, slowly pushing it to the side, inch by inch. What would he say to that? A good reason… Hmm, well… Thinking quickly, he knew it had probably been a bad idea the moment it exited his formerly closed lips, but didn't take it back. "Because I'm your rabbit-brat and you love me?"

Looking dumbstruck a moment, Kanda lowered Mugen and then shoved Lavi before he realized what was happening. "You damn idiot!" There was a slight strain to the Asian's voice, as if he were thoroughly offended by the junior bookman's words - or regretting what he'd just done - and Lavi couldn't quite put a finger on why. "Don't you _dare_ ever say that again or I'll _kill_ you, you hear me?" Lavi only nodded, too shaken up to come up with a coherent answer or joking comeback. "Good! Now go back to the room and do me a favor… stay the hell away from me for the rest of the mission! Or better yet, for the rest of my life!"

Keeping his back pinned to a tree, he watched Kanda slip the sword back into its sheath and disappear into the woods. Did the thought of Lavi moaning his name in his sleep horrify the other that much that he would be furious at the very sight of him? No, that couldn't be… Kanda didn't seem mad at first, only surprised, Lavi realized. But still, his cruel words stabbed a stake right through the bookman's heart and he slid to the ground, trying to sort his thoughts out, hurt creeping onto his expression.

As much as he told himself he didn't care what Kanda thought of him, he knew deep down how he longed for the other to at least not hate him of all things. He could be annoyed at him, angry at him, ignore him, anything but loathe him. He could even beat him on the spot, making him sore for a week and he wouldn't mind. After all, that kind of punishment would be better than being hated, even…

Biting his bottom lip, Lavi realized his head was spinning and he wondered what the hell he was thinking. Yes, he wanted Kanda to like him, but no, he did _not_ want the other male to grab him and kiss him like their lives depended on it. Or… do other things… His cheeks burned for a brief moment when he realized he was getting such thoughts about said man, and he had to hit his forehead a few times to snap himself out of it.

"You like girls!" he told himself sharply, swallowing hard. Yes, that was true, his thoughts and feelings towards women hadn't changed, because he was still attracted to the mental images of cute girls he'd seen. But yet, knowing he was probably crushing on another guy somehow didn't bother him entirely, and the images of Kanda in his mind made a soft noise of desire slip past his lips.

Sitting with his legs folding up against his chest, he moved his arms around them while his expression shifted to a twisted one, half-stuck between his sudden longing for his Asian comrade and his true feelings deep down. Or was it possible this entire time he actually liked Kanda and just never noticed? Or was it the dream that had affected him this way? Bent on the feeling that a simple dream could never be responsible for such strong, engulfing emotions, he forced himself to his feet. Starting later today, he was going to find the cause of these feelings - no matter what.


	2. Conclusion

SS: Forgive me in advance for not posting this sooner. You see, I don't always have enough time to actually type fics. So here the chapter is, and I hope I didn't do a completely fail job. -scurries off-

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

* * *

**Chapter 2 ****Conclusion**

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Long nights were something Lavi had gotten used to over the years; he and Bookman traveled a lot, so he always had to get used to adjusting to new places and all-nighters involving his logs. This happened to be one of those nights, because when he finally wandered back to bed after at least an hour of thinking, he found it was difficult to get back to sleep. His mind was clouded with the older man's words, and because of that, he couldn't even keep his eye closed for long. Every few minutes he'd let it drift back open and he'd be staring at the ceiling once more.

Thankfully Allen didn't snore very much, so that was one less distraction from catching some Z's. Unfortunately, one less wasn't enough to help him focus on sleep. _"…stay the hell away from me for the rest of the mission! Or better yet, for the rest of my life!" _Those words still stung like someone taking a whip and snapping it across his back hard, and he couldn't help but whine softly, turning over on the bed. Why was Kanda so angry? That's what he kept wondering. Did the thought of the two of them doing sexual things really disgust the Japanese _that _much?

"Why do you hate me so much, Yu?" he asked in a whisper, questioning an imaginary version of the said man. It seemed like Kanda thought of him as a rodent or some sort of pest, and no matter what Lavi told himself, it still hurt - badly. Recalling how his comrade seemed to be acting strange, he turned over once more, curious as to the reasons behind that, too. Maybe the way Lavi had been moaning his name scarred him for life. Yeah, that would explain it. Most people would probably feel awkward being around the person who did it, so…

Despite all of those thoughts, Lavi somehow managed to finally fall asleep somewhere along the line of, drooling over the mental image of Kanda training stuck in his head as it popped in there when he remembered 'stalking' the older back outside, and thinking of reasons the Asian cursed Lavi's very existence. He didn't know exactly when, because he hadn't been paying attention to the clock in the room, but Lavi figured it must have been around seven o'clock when he was swept into the world of dreams. So it was no surprise that he groaned as if in agony when he heard a man shouting angrily, in what seemed to be only five minutes after falling asleep.

Pouting, because he'd been ripped from a wonderful dream of spying on Kanda during training again, he twisted around to his other side, attempting to get back to sleep. The sun was peeking in through the open window nearby, and it caused Lavi to pull the pillow over his head to block out the retched light. Unfortunately, blocking out beams of sun didn't seem to be enough to get back to sleep. Again, there was that angry voice! He couldn't quite understand the words, only because he was half asleep, but it was still annoying. Whining as he finally got himself to turn over onto his back, he smacked the pillow once. "Who is it and what do you want…? I'm _tiiiiiired_…"

"…fucking brat," he heard in a voice that sounded agitated, words finally becoming clear to him as he woke up more. "I was nice enough to come and wake you up, and this is the reaction I get? Tch. Never waiting for your ass again." Wait, Lavi knew that voice! Slowly opening his eye, he focused his blurred vision on the figure standing next to his bed. "Most people would get the hell up if they found out I, of all people, bothered to greet them in the morning, Lavi."

Lavi gasped in pure shock. "Yu…?"

"No, I'm the damn fairy thing that collects your teeth when you're a kid…" Kanda grunted, sarcasm twisted with anger in his voice. "Hurry up. I'm not waiting anymore." Shifting to sit up, Lavi glanced over at the second man, examining him with a careful gaze. Kanda was standing up straight, arms crossed with the usual sour expression plastered on his face, though somehow it seemed a bit softer. Maybe it was just Lavi since it was so early in the morning, but… he liked what he saw.

Pulling off his pajama shirt, the only thing he tended to wear to bed lately besides his boxers, he quickly chucked it aside while reaching for his uniform which was neatly folded on his nightstand. Tugging a sleeveless shirt on, then quickly throwing on his jacket and accessories, he stood up straight with a grin. "Was that quick enough for you?"

"Hardly," the Japanese spat, lifting one of his hands. "You forgot something." Pointing to the floor with a finger, he emphasized the truth in how Lavi had just forgotten to put on his boots. Groaning, the redhead quickly pulled them on. Kanda would have laughed spitefully at him had he forgotten those and made it outside bare-footed. So, why was it Kanda reminded him? Purely out of pity? Maybe… "Lavi."

"Mm?" Looking up when he heard his name, the bookman finished shoving the bottoms of his pants into the boots, and blinked a few times fast.

Kanda only stared back at him silently for a couple of seconds, then he made an irritated sound and shook his head before heading for the door. It seemed like he was going to ask something awkward, and that he decided otherwise about it judging from the look on his face and the way he reacted to looking Lavi directly in the eye. "Hurry up and go eat something. I'll… I'll be outside by the front door." Exiting their room, his footsteps, heavy and quick, could still be heard even when it was clear that he made it to the lobby.

"What was that all about?" Lavi tilted his head and scratched the side of his cheek gently with one finger, completely baffled. There it was again! Kanda acted differently than usual! Any other time, he wouldn't have even said he'd wait again, and would've probably already departed from the building with a finder to complete the mission ASAP. But no, this time he even took his time and woke Lavi up. Whoa, hold on, about that, the whole, acting weird, had Kanda called him 'Lavi' for the third time now and not 'rabbit-brat' or some other nickname? Shocked, freaked out, amazed even, the redhead could only stand frozen, gawking at the empty hall.

Well, this had been an interesting mission thus far. First, he had had the freakiest, yet, undeniably, most wonderful dream ever, in which he was screwing around with the moodiest man he ever met. Second off, that said man was starting to act really odd, and the weirdest thing was, it was only after Lavi had the dream. On the train ride here, Kanda was acting just as always, which made Lavi wonder if it was truly his fault for scarring the other or something like that. And also, Kanda had told him to leave him alone for good, but suddenly decided to wait for him earlier that same morning? Something was very wrong with that picture…

Pulling his headband up, Lavi fixed the cloth patch he always wore over his right eye and messed with the loose strands of bang that hung over his nose. Maybe Kanda wasn't feeling too good, and because of that, was acting this way. Yeah, that'd make sense, as most anyone would act differently at least once when ill. Heaving a small sigh, he ventured out of the room, hoping that he'd be able to get something to eat really quick. Who knew? Maybe his Japanese comrade was going to be even _more_ patient with him today.

xoxoxox

The dining area wasn't very crowed as it usually was in the morning, and it seemed like most of the people staying in the inn either left for the day or were still sleeping. Lavi scurried to the counter and peeked beyond it to see if anyone was even here. Much to his dismay, he could find no one. So, not able to stop the rumble of his stomach, he leapt over the countertop and behind it to get himself something.

The kitchen wasn't very big, but then again, this wasn't exactly a huge motel. Easily able to find the refrigerator, the redhead opened it up and dug around until he found a yogurt. Taking it in one hand, he closed the door with the other then wandered over to a small group of shelves, which had many types of cereal on it. Stealing a whole box, he hummed and made his way back to the counter. Wait, something was missing… And no, he didn't need milk, so… Ah! Fruit! Snatching an apple out of the basket resting on the counter, he hopped back over it and smiled.

"That wasn't too difficult!" he beamed, taking a bite out of the piece of red, juicy fruit. Boy, was that well worth it; the food all tasted so fresh and his stomach was already thanking him. About ready to head outside to where Kanda was waiting for him, he recalled about their third comrade. Was Allen even awake yet? Glancing back at the kitchen, he spotted a stack of plates and bowls, so he knew that was a definite 'yes.'

Still finding it odd that the kitchen, of all places, was empty in the morning, he gave it one last look before wandering off down the smaller hall to the front door. Surely Kanda was either throwing a fit by now, or had already left. Either way, Lavi braced himself for both things and slowly pushed the door open with a foot, keeping his eye closed for a bit, unsure of what he'd find. Fortunately, Lady Luck was feeling nice, and when Lavi opened his eye, he found Kanda leaning against a nearby tree, and the finder and Allen patiently waiting by the door.

"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed. "What took you so long? I mean, it's _so_ like you to sleep in, but you're never this late to get out here. I even finished my breakfast before you, I see." There was actual surprise on the younger boy's face, and Lavi couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head.

"I'm just running a little late in general today, I guess," the redhead chuckled, tossing the yogurt he'd grabbed to Kanda, who easily caught it, not the least bit taken off guard. "Anyway, do we have any new leads or what?" Glancing at Allen again, he found the younger staring curiously at Kanda, then at Lavi himself. "What…?" he asked cautiously, afraid the boy had found out what happened last night. It seemed like Lavi was being a little too paranoid.

Allen simply shook his head. "It's nothing, I just didn't know Kanda liked yogurt. I thought the only thing in his diet was soba, and that he was eventually going to have a heart attack from the sodium in it."

"Be quiet, bean sprout," the Japanese warned, showing he wasn't in the mood for his British comrade today. Then again, when was he ever? Pulling the small plastic spoon that was attached to the yogurt off it, Kanda opened the container and took a small spoonful into his mouth. A slightly pleased expression moved onto his face as if it was something he really enjoyed. "Thank you, Lavi," he added in a calm voice before turning to begin heading off.

"Wow!" Allen shouted, shock clear in his voice. "Kanda has manners, too?" At this, it was easy to see the Asian twitching, despite how he was somewhat far from them.

Lavi moved up next to the cursed teen and patted his shoulder, a smile on his face. He himself was surprised by Kanda's words, but he already knew by now how weird his comrade was acting. "Well, first off, I get him a yogurt every time we go on a mission. He once tried it because he hadn't eaten a whole day, and it was the only type of food I had on me at the time. And second off…" Lavi's voice trailed out a moment, and his smile shifted to a sly grin as he snaked his arm around Allen's shoulder and began whispering into his ear. "I didn't know that, either. I think he's sick or going crazy-"

Interrupted by a few rocks almost smacking him in the head, he gasped and fell over, Allen tumbling down with him due to how close they were to each other. A fourth stone came whirling by Lavi's face and his hands instantly shot up defensively. "Yu!" he cried, expression changing from a teasing one to a nervous one. "You don't have to get so mad! It was a joke!" At first Lavi thought Kanda was going to come all the way back to them and attempt to stick Mugen in each of their throats, but instead of doing so much as drawing the sword, the Japanese walked away with a grunt.

Wow, Kanda really _was_ feeling sick, wasn't he? Normally a few veins would pop out on his face and he'd come charging at them with an infuriated expression, some violent threat making its way out of his mouth. But this time, Lavi didn't even hear the smallest of harsh words. Baffled was only one adjective to describe how the future Bookman felt at that moment.

So just when Lavi thought he'd gotten off the hook and was about to rise like Allen had, Kanda stopped in place after ten footsteps and turned his head, angrily spitting out some words finally. "You know by now how that pisses me off!" he growled, bangs shadowing his eyes. "Don't do it again or I'll _gut_ you, I mean it!" Storming off down the dirt pathway that lead through the woods, he seemed to grumble things to himself and didn't bother looking back again, not even once. Behind him, he left a stunned Lavi, Allen _and _finder.

"Ne, Allen…" Lavi said softly when Kanda was far enough away not to hear them. "Don't y'think that was… really weird?" His emerald hue was focused on the Asian still from this distance, and his features turned grim rather than remaining shocked.

"Well, yeah," the teenager answered, his expression a mix of confusion and other emotions which could only be described as 'completely freaked out.' "I've never seen Kanda do something as stupid as throw tiny, harmless rocks at us. Maybe he _is_ crazier than we first thought-"

"It's like he was doing that for the heck of it."

"Huh?"

Lavi seemed to be in a slight daze, as if thinking hard, and his focus continued to stay on the Japanese, even as he rose and brushed himself off. He shook his head briefly then finally glanced at Allen. "What I mean is, the threat. It sounded like he was only doing it to hide what's really wrong. Y'know, so we'd think he's his normal self." Pondering his thoughts a bit more, the mongrel eventually shoved his hands behind his head. His eye went back to the Japanese as he himself began walking down the path.

Allen wasn't going to argue with Lavi's guess, because it sounded like it could be dead accurate, so he shrugged and followed after him. "Maybe you're right," he started, watching the finder scurry up to walk in front of them. "Kanda is Kanda though. Remember that. He's got his own skeletons to hide in the closet, just like the rest of us."

_But is it really something from the past bothering him?_ Lavi wondered, trying to think of everything he knew about Yu Kanda. Surprisingly, he didn't come up with very much, and he couldn't help but sigh aloud at that. It was to be expected somewhat. He hadn't known Kanda since he was a child like Lenalee, in fact, he'd met the guy when he was 16 and had first come to the Order, but he thought after over two years he'd at least know more than what everyone else did. That was how bookmen were supposed to be, knowing things others didn't know, but when it came to secret knowledge about Kanda, Lavi's brain became almost blank.

Pondering deeper into what he did know, things Kanda didn't tell many people, he sighed. Nothing. Stating Kanda as not the most chatty of the group would be an understatement; he always seemed to talk only when it was deemed necessary to him, and even then he wouldn't say very much. That, and, it was either out of business or some random threat he'd come up with to get people out of his hair.

Unfortunately for him, Lavi wasn't given the chance to think more about it, because due to not paying attention to reality, he slammed right into the helplessly un-expecting finder in front of him. Letting out a holler of pain, he tripped forward and cursed as he hit… something softer than the ground. "M-Mr. L-Lavi…" he heard in a muffled voice. "C-could you please get off? That hurt…" Almost immediately moving back and off, as if it were a reflex, Lavi ended up sitting on the ground, legs folded and spread in front of him. His hands were bracing him and he watched the man he'd fallen on top of rise.

"Eheh… sorry about that." A sheepish grin appeared on his features, and Lavi waited a few more seconds before getting up himself. As soon as he did, he regretted spacing out in the first place. Not too far up into the distance, he caught Kanda turned back to them, and even from how far it was, Lavi could see the scowl on his features, burning with anger at how they were slowing him down. "Sorry, Yu! We're coming!" Snatching Allen and the finder by one of each of their wrists, he sped up ahead, dragging the other two confused men.

Allen, who was more than used to such hyper behavior from Lavi by now, was the first to speak when they made it to where Kanda was standing. "L-Lavi, what's the hurry?" he asked, laughter tied into his words.

"Well, I was just thinking, uh…" The redhead's voice trailed out a moment as he tapped a finger on his own bottom lip, wondering what to say to that. He snapped his fingers after another second and pointed to their Japanese comrade. "…that it's not like Yu-san to wait for us, is it? We should show him how much we respect that!" Chuckling and scratching the back of his head nervously, he hoped they'd buy it. In reality, Lavi had suddenly ran up ahead because he didn't want Kanda to have any new reasons to hate him _more_ than he already did. The thought of that hatred stung a lot.

Thankfully the finder smiled and nodded, agreeing with Lavi, making it obvious he knew just how harsh Kanda could be from rumors around the Order. Allen, on the other hand, proved he wasn't entirely stupid and he tilted his head a little. "Are you sure that's it?" he asked, giving Lavi the 'I-know-something-else-is-up, now-tell-me' look.

Moving his hand down to his front instead, the bookman waved it a few times. "Positive. Now let's get moving again because I'm sure Yu is-" Twisting his head he glanced at the spot where the Japanese formally was, realizing the impatient Kanda had already began moving again, gaining some distance from them like before. "Ah, wait!" Lavi called. "Wait for us, Yu! Come on!" But Kanda didn't seem to care, and that only made Lavi sigh in a heartbroken way, like a person who'd just been rejected would sigh, and _that_ caused suspicion to appear on the nearby Allen's face. _A lot _of suspicion. Lavi seemed to notice this almost right away when he spotted Allen, and he laughed uneasily, rushing up ahead and ditching the two others.

"Gee, Lavi," the teenager mumbled to himself as he began walking, the finder staying right beside him. "You're acting awfully strange with Kanda today… It's almost as if…" With a sigh, Allen didn't finish his murmurings, and instead focused on catching up with his two older comrades. Dashing forward, the finder trying his best to keep up, he pushed his suspicion aside for now. There'd be time to ponder those things later. For now, it would be best to put the mission first, just so they could all get it done with ASAP.

xoxoxox

"Yuuu, waiiiit! Stop! Just a moment! Please!" The high-pitch whine of Lavi's tired voice struck through the oldest of the three exorcist's ears, and he stopped in place almost instantly, a glare directed at the owner. "Ugh, thank you…" Apparently the extremely long way through the woods they were taking to get to mansion they needed to investigate, had already gotten the best of three out of the four. Lavi, Allen, and the finder were all panting and exhausted.

Kanda rolled his eyes in annoyance, arms crossing themselves, but decided he'd take this opportunity to try to calm himself with some meditation. So, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a huff, he glanced around and spotted a conveniently placed bench nearby. "Fine. We'll rest for a little while if you're all so damn tired already." The annoyance on his face shifted to a smug look when the other two exorcists' mouths dropped open, both appearing pretty surprised. "What? I'm being _nice_."

"That's the problem," Allen blurted out, giving Kanda a weird stare. Figuring that since he'd accidentally started stating his thoughts aloud, he continued. "Are you sure you're not sick? I mean, you're being extra weird." This only seemed to gain him one thing: Kanda turning away and heading to the bench, ignoring him like he wasn't even there. Of course, being the way Allen was, the corner of his mouth twitched and he sped up after the older male.

Lavi could only stand by the finder, shaking his head and explaining that this always happened when the two were together, via a mission, just hanging at Headquarters, whatever. Apparently Kanda's wrath wasn't the only thing spread around there, because the finder seemed to react casually, responding that it was something he expected. Quirking a brow, Lavi watched the helper rush ahead to the bench, more than eager to rest up while he had the chance, and, quite frankly, Lavi felt it'd be best to do the same.

After a ten minute long argument, Kanda and Allen seemed to settle down, both too aggravated with each other to bother carrying it on any longer. Lavi was more than grateful, because now that there was no longer the distraction of harsh words and negative auras filling the air, he could finally sit back and relax a bit, without having to worry about getting dragged into it. The sound of birds tweeting filled the air, and he could only sigh contently at them for now. As soon as an akuma showed up, all of this would be spoiled, so he wanted to enjoy it for the time being.

Lavi's emerald hue drift up to gaze at the sky, watching a few small clouds slowly floating along in the air, and it made him feel slightly sleepy. It was to be expected, though, considering the fact that he hadn't slept much, and had had 'Kanda-licious' _nightmares_ during the few hours he actually managed. For Lavi, having such dreams about Kanda would've probably made him feel odd about the other for life, at least, that's what he thought, but apparently it was the exact opposite. He enjoyed them _and_ wanted to have more.

Sighing, he twiddled with the bits of red bangs that stuck out across his nose. He still remained determined to figure out the cause of those feelings and dreams, but figured the only way he'd be able to do that was to have some alone time with Kanda to talk. And _that _wasn't something likely to occur easily. Kanda would probably yell at Lavi for being an idiot with such thoughts, then tell him to leave him be again.

Trying to plot a way he'd be able to explain, Lavi's eye drifted down to the ground, catching hold of something slightly interesting. A small batch of flowers, all but one dead, was right next to the end of the bench, and Lavi knew from recognizing the type that they weren't weeds. But how would a patch of daisies grow in such a place, anyway? He knew this type was a low-growing, wild flower native here in Europe, but didn't think they'd grow where the sun was blocked out 90% of the day by the stone bench. That's what was so interesting.

Letting his attention be completely captured by the one living flower, the redhead reached down and picked it at its base, a sly grin spreading across his features when he noticed Allen looking his way. "Hey, kid," he began, snaking an arm around the younger's neck. "Do y'like flowers?" At this, Allen cocked a brow, which only made Lavi's grin widen.

"I do…" Allen replied in a soft voice, weirded out by the teasing expression on his friend's face he knew all too well by now.

"Well, this one here, you see?" Lavi moved the flower in front of his comrade's face and waved it a bit to emphasize. "It was the last one still alive in that patch next to my feet. It kind of reminds me of you, a survivor, y'know?" Poking one of the teen's cheeks, Lavi raised his hand and was about to put the tiny plant in Allen's hair, when a slap to his hand startled him enough to drop it.

Kanda, who'd been silent for a while now due to meditation, was standing and glaring sharply at the two of them, his gaze reminding them both of a furious panther about ready to pounce and kill its prey. And, mercilessly, just like the animal, Kanda raised a foot and stomped down on the daisy, grinding until he was certain it was in pieces and dead. Then, without saying a word, the samurai turned and continued down the path, letting the whole group know it was time to continue to the mansion.

Allen, Lavi, and the finder simply watched him go for a couple of seconds, until the youngest of the group decided he didn't want to fall behind. Rising, Allen patted one of Lavi's shoulders. "It's okay, don't let him bother you. I know you were only teasing, but apparently Kanda's always low patience bar dropped a bit more today." With a smile, a sympathetic one at that, Allen removed his hand and followed after the grumpy Asian, the finder quickly trotting up behind them.

For a brief moment, Lavi only stared down at the ground, attention completely focused on the shredded daisy. A frown moved across his once cheery features and he let out a sigh. _That's right, _he thought, squeezing a fist. _He'd stomp on me the same way if I ever tried to…_ Pushing his odd, sorrowful thoughts aside, he quickly jumped up at the call of Allen's voice. "Coming!" Lavi shouted to him, making sure his hammer was still safe in its holder before he dashed off. Unfortunately, the thoughts he'd 'locked away' came back right then and he groaned to himself. _It's not a big deal, anyway! After all, it's just a stupid flower… _Sighing once more, he shook his head._ Yeah, only a flower…_

"Lavi?" Allen asked in a concerned voice when he noticed the look on his comrade's face. "Why the sad expression? Aren't you the one who's usually cheering _me_ up?"

Seeming surprised by the sudden questions, Lavi glanced to his left, giving the teen a smile. "Sorry about that! It's just…" Voice trailing out a moment, he glanced at the ground as they continued along. "I don't know, I guess I felt bad when Yu-san destroyed that daisy. It made me feel weird inside." When Allen was about to ask what he meant, Lavi interrupted. "It's… hard to describe. Anyway, let's focus on getting to the mansion for now and save our breath."

Without a word of argument, Allen nodded and silently continued down the trail. He was still worried about Lavi, needless to say, but at the same time, he had no idea how to carry on the conversation. Allen knew all to well how mean Kanda could be, though he never would have expected Lavi to get so hurt over the oldest of the three stepping on a cute little flower. Well, it _was_ a 'cute little flower,' after all, but for Lavi of all people to get sad over such a thing, it left Allen brain-dead. Apparently he didn't know his friend as well as he thought.

For a whole ten minutes, everyone was quiet, the sound of birds, bugs, the wind and their footsteps the only things making some easily heard noise. That was a problem, though, because Lavi felt awkward in such a hush, especially when he needed to do _something_ to distract himself from the weird emotions constantly bothering him. Reaching down to his thigh, he fiddled with his hammer a bit before realizing how thirsty he actually was.

All of them had been walking for a while now, the short break back there the only spot they made a pit-stop at, and Lavi came to realize that in all that time, he hadn't had any water. Dehydration was something he couldn't afford while being on a mission, so he reached inside a pocket of his jacket, pulling out a flask. Maybe today was just an unlucky day for him in general, because when he popped off the top and was about to drink some liquid from it… nothing came out. Cursing softly to himself, Lavi popped the lid back on and shoved the empty carton into his pocket once more.

It wouldn't be right to ask the others for their water, because then they'd have none for themselves, and despite being a bookman, Lavi was far from selfish. Heaving a sigh, he continued to walk, but couldn't help the complaint from slipping past his lips. "Maaaaan, how much longer until we get there? Because I have no more water and I'm so thirsty that I could drink two gallons of it right now." With his head hung, the redhead stared at the ground as if hoping some random lake or fountain would appear by doing so. He hadn't meant to say such a thing, but judging from the silence, no one else seemed to have an answer for him, anyway.

At least until a low growl could be heard after a few more seconds passed by, and Lavi knew that it could only belong to one person among them. Kanda stopped in place almost instantly, aggravation clear on his expression as he whipped around, scaring the heck out of the helpless finder behind him. "Baka usagi! If you're so damn thirsty, shut the hell up and take this!" Almost as fast as a 90-mph pitch would be in baseball, Kanda lashed his own flask full of water at Lavi. At this, the younger jumped in place, his hands having come up just in time to catch it, the two jointed body parts turning red from the impact.

"U-uh, thanks, Yu…" was all Lavi could manage in a faint voice, his brain slightly jumbled at how Kanda just gave up his water to him. Did the guy really just show he had a heart? Even though Kanda had said such cruel words, and had even thrown the small bottle so hard at him, he still _gave_ it to Lavi, which was more than enough to show he cared.

"You're really starting to scare me, Kanda…" The sound of Allen's voice distracted Lavi from his thoughts and made the Japanese man glare like a rattle snake at the boy. Allen didn't seem intimidated, and he simply crossed his arms, standing tall. "You're actually showing signs of having a heart, and in fact, it's pretty freaky." As Allen continued speaking, he made his way up beside the older of the two and returned the even darker glare he was getting.

"Shut your rotten mouth," Kanda growled, seeming offended by the accusation of having some compassion. "I only gave the thing to him because he was whining as he always does. It gets annoying after the first second of it."

Allen raised a brow. "And you think when you act like an ass that _that_ never gets annoying after the first second of it?" The question seemed to cause a spark between them, and they were both glaring even darker yet at one another if that was even possible.

Off to the side, the finder was panicking, fearing that if something wasn't done, they'd tear each other apart before the mission was even over. Lavi, on the other hand, was sighing softly, realizing that it was partially his fault for having complained in the first place. His only visible eye glanced down at the flask in his hand, and his gaze softened a bit, as if he were very thankful despite his realization. Kanda didn't _have_ to give it to him, after all, and that alone made a warm feeling grow in his chest.

During the fight, Lavi's eye kept drifting back and forth between the bottle and the two other boys, and when he was finally about to take a sip, the sight of something 'curious' caught his attention. That sight was Kanda's lips. Wait, this flask wasn't completely full, meaning the Asian must have taken a taste, at least. Lavi felt a lump in his throat when he thought about it. _Yu's lips touched this… _He bit his own lip then swallowed. _They were around the rim of this same container… That means this would be…_

Indirect kissing. That was something school girls and boys would giggle and tease each other about. Cursing himself for thinking so childishly, Lavi took one last look at Kanda and his lush-looking lips, and downed some water. There was no time to waste on thinking about such stupid things when it came to missions, that was a fact, and besides, what kind of adult cares about indirect kisses, anyway?

Only a love-sick one, which Lavi horrifically became aware of. How did it come to this? There had to be a way to find out, there had to be a chance soon, there just _had_ to be a way to get Kanda alone with him to talk. Otherwise, he was pretty certain he'd _never_ know. But first, Lavi had to figure out how to not be killed by his comrade when bringing up the topic. Taking a moment to ponder a way only served in making his mind completely blank. "This is going to take a while," he said quietly to himself, sighing.


	3. Will Not Tell

SS: As an apology for being so late with this chapter due to unforeseen offline complications, I made it longer than it was planned to be. 1,200 words longer just about. Phew, I do believe I beat my personal record. -mental cheer-

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 3 Will Not Tell**

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"My feet!" Lavi whined, collapsing to his knees dramatically when they finally saw the mansion up close. It felt like forever they'd been walking, and that alone was enough to make the bookman act the way he was now. "I need to rest! Let's stop for now again since we're here." Turning, he glanced at his other comrades, blinking a few times fast. Allen was rolling his eyes, the finder was chuckling, and Kanda was glaring. "What…?"

"Lavi, don't you think you're overreacting just a little?" Allen asked with a slight chuckle, moving up to his side. "I mean, we're all kind of tired again, but we're here. We should start looking for the Innocence now because Kanda's patience will-" Before the teenager could finish, Yu shoved him aside and continued toward the mansion. Huffing, Allen crossed his arms and glared at the other while muttering a complaint, but didn't bother trying to start something since he wasn't exactly in the mood at the moment.

"Allen," the redhead began, reaching up to tug at the younger's jacket sleeve to get his attention. "Ne, Allen." Nothing. "Heeey, _beansprout_!" Finally the boy flinched with a 'huh?' and looked down. First, though, before listening to any more words, he offered a hand to help his friend up and Lavi gladly accepted. "Could you wait here a moment with the finder? I need to ask Yu-san something." Allen blinked curiously, but nodded, regardless. As soon as that was said and done, Lavi sped up ahead after his Japanese comrade.

"Yu!" he called, only slowing down when he caught up. "Could'ja wait a minute? I need to ask you something! Hey!" Obviously Kanda wasn't listening and kept moving, so Lavi grumbled in frustration and ran up in front of the other man, stopping in place. Rather than muttering a word, it appeared Kanda preferred physical warnings, and Lavi felt the other shove him aside then keep going. Further annoyed that he couldn't even get his question out, Lavi walked back up to Kanda and forcefully snatched one of his hands.

At this, Kanda froze in place, not even bothering to turn his head the slightest bit. It was as if he was startled by it, but that was just his way of trying to hide it. Lavi took advantage of this and went to begin speaking, but found himself distracted by something he normally would never even take interest in. Kanda's hand felt unusually warm, and perhaps it was weird of Lavi to notice just now, but the other man's hand was also covered in calluses and damaged skin, rather than smooth.

Despite how Lavi didn't really know much about Yu Kanda's little healing 'technique,' he couldn't help but wonder why exactly that hand was rough and not soft. Technically if Kanda was always completely healed by it, wouldn't that mean his hand _wouldn't _be like this? Or maybe Kanda couldn't use it all the time? Lavi recalled a case when he'd seen the older man looking extremely tired after a healing session, and he frowned a bit. It was connected to his life, right? At least, that's what he assumed judging from what he'd seen himself…

Tugged from his thoughts out of the blue, Lavi noticed Kanda's hand that he was holding onto was now twitching, and he could feel the other's strong, sword-wielding fingers slip and twist around, gripping roughly at Lavi's own hand, instead. Without warning, Kanda suddenly pulled hard, causing Lavi to go flying forward, hovering right over the ground from the grip still on his hand. Swallowing, the younger gasped slightly at the awkward position and pressure on his arm, not expecting to suddenly be let go and end up on his face soon after. "Ow!" Lavi shrieked, pushing himself to sit up after waiting a few seconds. "What was that for?"

Basically Lavi regretted looking up as he rubbed his cheek, because Kanda was glaring down at him with a look dark enough to freeze Hell over fifty times. Swallowing nervously, Lavi chuckled softly and crawled backward so he was completely out of the Asian's way to avoid being kicked. Unfortunately, that didn't get him out of the way of that angered stare; Kanda's eyes followed him and Lavi waved both his hands in a way that begged Kanda not to do anything harsh. "I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted to ask you something, but it's not important, anyway!" Gulping, he hoped those words would suffice.

Luckily Kanda didn't snap on him or hit him, and instead began to walk again, now pretending as if Lavi wasn't even there in the first place. So apparently those words had been enough, or… maybe Kanda was feeling merciful now? Whichever it was, Lavi felt relieved and finally gathered the courage to push himself up to his feet once more.

By the time he was up, Allen and the finder had made their way over to him, Allen having a suspicious and curious look on his face as he stared Lavi in the eye. "You okay?" the teenager asked cautiously, not wanting to pry too much.

"As okay as a guy can be when Yu Kanda gives him the evil eye and is about to murder him," Lavi snickered, seeming to be back to his old self already. In reality, all he'd done was push the feelings of sadness he'd felt aside for the time being so he didn't end up babbling to his friend about it. It'd be useless, anyway. Allen wasn't the type of person who'd know how to deal with what had happened, being emotional and all.

Shifting on his heel, Allen glanced over at Kanda, who was making his way up the stairs of the old mansion. "Do you think it's okay we let him go up there alone like this? What if he does something stupid and knocks the whole mansion down? He's not exactly in the best mood, I see." Allen began to laugh when he heard Lavi's own chuckles. Well, hey, when talking about a guy like Kanda, who's to say he couldn't knock down a whole building just by getting angry about one tiny thing?

Maybe he'd heard their words, or perhaps it was just the sound of their laughter, but Kanda stopped on the top stair and shot Lavi and Allen both a quick glare before raising a foot to step onto the old porch. As soon as he placed it down and leaned his weight there, the porch seemed to disagree with the 130 pounds of the man, and it made a low creaking noise as if in pain. Kanda raised a brow, suspecting such a thing but not exactly expecting it to sound almost _human_. It was slightly disturbing.

Brushing it off, he moved his other foot up onto the porch and heard yet another creak, except this one wasn't half as bad as the first. Figuring it was safe, and that the porch was just protesting things being on its old self, Kanda ventured onto it, making it halfway to the doorway. As soon as he pressed a foot down at the halfway point, though, the boards made that same awful creak as the first step he took on the porch and, just like that, the slabs of wood snapped all at once.

Lavi, who'd been chatting with Allen for a bit, was alarmed to hear such a thing, figuring Kanda must have gotten hurt. So, quickly, he raced to the porch - only to find Kanda was safe and sound and had done a back flip to gracefully avoid falling through. Heaving a not-so-small sigh of relief, Lavi smiled. "I thought you'd gotten hurt there, Yu. Good to see that you're okay."

Kanda scoffed and walked around the hole, far enough away so that he was certain the other boards wouldn't end up breaking on him. Not wasting any time, he headed for the door and didn't even bother commenting on what Lavi had said to express his worry for the Japanese.

This obviously left a slight scar on Lavi's composure, and he sighed softly to prevent himself from saying anything stupid that might cause Kanda to attack him. Wait, attack…? Lavi shivered. Oh, good grief! He couldn't even go a minute without having such strange thoughts that could easily be mistaken as something far more intimate. Embarrassed, he pulled his headband down slightly to hide part of his expression better and walked up the stairs and onto the porch. Bad idea.

A loud shriek escaped Lavi's lips as he fell through the spot Kanda had managed to dodge. The noisy thump of the redhead landing on his butt onto the ground under there, plus his previous scream, caused everyone to stop and move to the hole in the boards. Lavi was just sitting there, slightly stunned, rubbing his back in which he'd felt a sharp pain go up into from the landing.

"Lavi!" Allen called down, obviously worried. "Lavi, are you okay?" The three faces of the finder, Allen and Kanda were all glancing down into the hole, and Allen had been the first to do so and ask if he was alright.

Mumbling bitterly to himself in a set of curses due to his sore behind and back, Lavi fixed his headband and glanced up at the three. Wow, surprisingly this ditch under the porch went pretty deep, much deeper than the surrounding land that squared the porch itself. If Lavi had to guess, he'd say he'd fallen about eight feet. He was more than surprised he hadn't broken something from such a height, but the soft dirt he was sitting on now had acted like somewhat of a cushion for his fall it seemed.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Lavi smiled dryly. "Yeah," he started, lowering that hand. "I'm just fine and dandy... less the part where it feels like someone smacked my back with a few bricks then kicked me hard in the ass." Voicing another complaint in the form of a groan, Lavi decided it'd be best to wait a minute or two more before trying to get up, otherwise his back would probably try to 'kill' him for it.

Still looking worried, even more so now, Allen waited a moment before calling back down to Lavi. "Other than the pain, can you gaze around and see if there's anything down there? It's kind of hard to see from up here." Allen paid careful attention to his friend as he looked around then glanced back up at him, shaking his head. "Okay, so you can come back up then. I was kind of hoping the Innocence was down there to make our lives easier, but…" Interrupted by a nervous laughter, he blinked a few times fast. "What's wrong?"

"Look, I'd _love_ to come back up there," Lavi said, "but my hammer isn't where it should be." Pointing to the empty holder on his thigh, he gave a sigh and glanced around again while rubbing his sore back some more. Darn, his Innocence was no where in sight! "You see it up there by any chance? I think it came out when I fell because I know it was here before."

"Ah! Okay, I'll look for it, but why don't we let Jacob get you up while I do that?" Jacob, being the finder, had no problem with that and went to extend his long arms into the pit, but was quickly shoved aside, along with Allen. "H-hey!" the teen shrieked, giving Kanda a sharp glare. "What's the big idea, Bakanda?"

"Shut up and get his Innocence!" Snapping at him, Kanda jumped down through the broken boards and landed next to Lavi on two legs. Looking up, his eyes stayed in a sharp glare, as if trying to scare the other into obeying. "We have something we need to discuss, something that's been pissing me off this whole morning." As he said this, his gaze diverted to Lavi instead, and the redhead made a soft gasping noise since he couldn't exactly move well enough to avoid being slaughtered.

Protesting, Allen scowled. "But you're going to hurt Lavi!" Exchanging glances with his friend below who was looking nervous like crazy, Allen's expression shifted to slight sympathy and he rose up. "I'll get your Innocence though, Lavi… I don't want an akuma or a Noah getting it… And Kanda! Don't you dare do anything rash! Lavi's our comrade, remember that!" Disappearing from view, along with the finder, who didn't want to pry because he was afraid of Kanda, Allen left the two be for now. He knew well enough about private affairs, after all.

There was about a minute of pure silence as Lavi waited for his back to allow him to stand, and when he finally was able, he still couldn't manage to speak. It wasn't that he didn't know what to say, oh no, it was more like he didn't know _how_ to say it without pissing his older comrade off. Clearing his throat, Lavi opened his mouth, but no sound came out, and he closed it right away before looking down. He couldn't get the awkward feeling in his stomach to go away, which was causing him to feel uncomfortable with the hush, but his attempt to break it failed him.

Another minute seemed to pass by, and finally Lavi couldn't take it anymore. Looking over at Kanda, he called him by his first name to get his attention, then raised a hand. Unfortunately, just as soon as he'd lifted that body part, Kanda came flying at him, slamming him against one of the thick old pillars under the porch. Gasping loudly, Lavi moved his hands to wrap around the single arm pinning him to it by the top of his jacket.

"Che… You…" There was a deadly quality to Kanda's tone that made Lavi's eye widen in surprise, and he hadn't expected him to suddenly flip out at the sound of his first name, not this time, anyway. His voice was much deeper than usual and his dark bangs were covering his eyes, which made him seem somewhat demonic in the dim rays of light around them. "Who the hell do you think you are…?"

Swallowing, Lavi squeezed the other's arm tightly with his hands to try to get him to let go, but that only seemed to make Kanda raise him up off the ground a bit, pinning him tighter against the pillar. "You're so strong… Yu-chan…" Lavi muttered with a grin, trying his best to keep cool about the situation he was now in. "Mind telling me what exactly… you mean…? Also… you're kinda choking me…"

Tilting his head up slightly, Kanda's eyes became visible, and the way they were made Lavi flinch. The narrowed bluish gray hues basically looked absolutely vicious, far more than they usually would, and it was to the point that it seemed as if Kanda would decapitate the other for real and not care the least bit. Tightening his hold on the man opposite to him, the older of the two moved slightly closer. "You know what I mean…" he said slowly.

"Afraid I don't…" Lavi replied, his expression shifting to a melancholy smile as he tried to keep himself able to breathe. It was pretty hard, though, considering how Kanda's grip tightened _even more _at his comment.

"Bastard! You really act like a dumbass, worse than the sprout sometimes!" Finally loosening his grip, Kanda spat it out. "Stop treating me like some sort of toy, you fucking rabbit, and stop your damn bullshit altogether, because I _don't _like you!"

Those words shot into Lavi like a bullet ripping through his skin, and he stiffened against the wood he was pressed to. Kanda didn't like him? As in, he didn't even like him as a comrade at the very minimum? Not able to help the pain he felt swelling in his chest, Lavi blurted out words without thinking. "Yu! You've got it all wrong! I don't think of you as a toy… really! You've been a dear friend to me these past three years… I just…" Emerald eye drifting down, he gulped. "I wish you didn't hate me, at least… please…"

Somehow, by some miracle, Kanda seemed to react in a more 'positive' way to those words; his eyes went wide, he lowered Lavi and loosened his grip on him, and his lips even parted slightly, but he didn't yet let go of the younger. As if startled at hearing those words and shocked by how horrible he felt for causing Lavi's hurt features, he swallowed and hid most of his expression with his bangs like before.

Tempted to speak so he could ask Kanda what was wrong suddenly, because Lavi hadn't expected the other to really react in such a way to his words, the redhead let go of the arm he'd been grasping and instead tapped it with one hand lightly. When he got no response, Lavi tapped it harder and reached for the man's jacket with his second hand to tug at it. Did Kanda's brain just stop working or something?

Parting his lips, Lavi only managed to say the other's name before Kanda's free hand smacked itself above the younger's head, surprising Lavi enough that he jumped in place and went dead silent. The sound of boots scraping through tiny pebbles and dirt slowly caused the redhead's only visible green hue to glance down once more, noticing how Kanda had just moved closer. Swallowing, Lavi began to panic. As much as he felt his heart longing for it deep down, he knew this was far too sudden for them to, out of the blue, get closer - both literally and mentally.

This was why he knew it had been a really, really bad idea to have looked up, because as soon as he did, his gaze met with a confused, hard stare belonging to Kanda, and Lavi kicked his reason out the window all at once. Just the expression on Kanda's face made the redhead want to do _something_ to ease the Asian's uneasiness, so he brought his hand up further, touching the face opposite to his own. Oddly enough, that seemed to help, because Lavi watched the other move closer yet…

…only to have Allen's voice echoing down into the hole, asking them if they were alright, making them both flinch. Kanda scowled in a way that made it appear he was mad for Allen interrupting, and tore himself away from the person his age by an effort of will, then finally turned to call back. "We're fine. Throw the rabbit-brat's hammer down here so we can get out on our own, then get your asses, you and that damn finder, inside the mansion." When Allen peeked down into the hole, looking like he wanted to make sure of Kanda's words, the Japanese hissed. "What did I _just_ say? You should've done that already, anyway, stupid beansprout! GO!"

"Hey! Watch it! How am I supposed to know you weren't going to hurt Lavi, huh?" Huffing loudly in anger, Allen tossed the Innocence down and got up, stomping off into the house, obviously mad for being called the 'nickname' he hated most by his comrade. The finder quickly scrambled after him, and Allen waited by the door until Jacob caught up out of courtesy.

Despite all that talk and movement, Lavi remained against the beam, frozen, dazed, and plain out-right looking like he'd faint from the shock of it all. There was no possible way what had almost happened was going to, there just wasn't! The red-haired exorcist was pretty much to his breaking point of confusion, even as smart as he was, and he couldn't help but stare at Kanda in awe, not even taking his eye off him when the other growled at him in impatience.

"…vi. _Lavi_! Hey, you _stupid rabbit_! I'm talking to you!" Breaking out of his trance, the younger stared at the older in confusion. "_What_?" Kanda fumed, throwing the hammer at him. "Stop gawking at me with your creepy expression and get us out of here. If we jump up or hang on the wood, the boards will only snap again. They're too fragile."

Breathing in sharply as one of his hands instinctively came up to catch his Innocence, the bookman shook his head and nodded. "Right, right, sorry." Without saying another word, Lavi walked under the opening and silently pointed the weapon down before uttering one of his usual commands for it to expand in size. He signaled Kanda to come over and the other did so, grabbing the handle. "Extend," Lavi muttered softly, making them go up.

The vibrant green color of Lavi's only visible eye stared straight at the target of his heartache the entire few seconds it took for them to get up and onto a safer part of the porch. Pain swelled in the muscle beating inside his chest when he recalled the events that could've occurred down under the very wooden rectangular panels they were standing on now.

Kanda was going to kiss him. _Kanda_, Yu fucking Kanda, the object of his bewildering sudden desire and also the same person who'd been acting strange ever since Lavi had had the 'dreadful' dream. Swallowing, the now 19-year-old, his birthday had passed along with Kanda's during the events of the Ark, watched his hammer shrink and slipped it away as soon as it was done. It was hard to believe all this was happening to this very second, and Lavi could only stare blankly at the floor.

An annoyed noise caught his attention, though, especially when he felt someone choking him by his scarf. "Y-Yu?" Well, okay. It wasn't really choking, Kanda had been trying to get his in-space comrade's attention, was all, and he had a really rash way of doing it like always. "What is it? I'm sorry."

"We're going inside, you and me right now. I won't leave you out here alone." Lavi's heart all but died in joy at the comment. Noticing the look on his face, Kanda amended himself. "I'm not leaving you out here alone because you're being a stupid fucking retard and you'll be easy bait for an akuma. We can't afford to lose another exorcist, so come on." And it was clear to see the disappointment in the redhead's eye, making Kanda cringe slightly. Why was it he felt… bad?

Releasing the hold he had on the younger man's scarf, Kanda turned towards the mansion and headed inside, not even bothering to give Lavi time to speak. Instead, he noticed the other quickly scampering after him, not wanting to get left behind. "I must admit, I've always thought you were an idiot, but I never believed even _you'd_ get this bad," Kanda said after they were both inside and walking through an old hall. "What's making you so stupid?"

Lavi shrugged, shaking his head. "I dunno what you're talkin' about, Yu." Following behind the Japanese slowly, purposely because he didn't want to end up slamming into him in this dark mansion like he had in his dream, he sighed. "I feel just fine. You must be imagining things."

"I didn't ask you how you _felt_," Kanda grumbled, rolling his dark hues. "I asked you what was wrong and making you act weird. Don't put words in my mouth." Kanda didn't need to turn and look to see the deep melancholy merging with Lavi's features, he could hear the sorrow in his tone of voice as he spoke. It made the older man feel uncomfortable since the feeling of 'sympathy' wasn't gone.

"You're being more of an ass than usual, and you even accused me of treating you like a toy," Lavi said, voice dropping low. Hell, he might as well bring the topic up since they were actually talking without violence now. "Besides, you're the one acting really strange. Ever since I had my dream, you've been all, I dunno, shy with me. It's starting to freak me out more and more."

"Shy? Tch." Glaring at nothing in particular, Kanda stopped in place and slowly turned to look at his company. It wasn't difficult to see how annoyed he was getting again. "And you _do_ treat me like a toy, you prick-"

"Speak for your fucking self!" Lavi snapped angrily, clenching a fist. This wasn't right, not at all! Why was _he_ being made into the bad guy here when Kanda was the one who'd started all of this? "I'm confused!" he whined, sounding almost desperate as he stared into Kanda's eyes pleadingly. "I'm confused and I don't know why I have these weird feelings! Can you explain it? Because I can't! So you're the fucking prick here, not me, _you're_ the one who knows something and won't tell me!"

Kanda went dead silent at the comment, as if it triggered something in his brain, and Lavi couldn't help but raise a hand, covering his own mouth like a child would do when they said something they shouldn't have. He watched the other slowly turn back around, but that was all Kanda did. For a whole minute, they just stood there, quieter than church mice. Had what Lavi said made it hard for his comrade to look at him, even?

Trying with all his might to start up the convo again failed, and Lavi was twiddling with the strap that hung from his belt now, the hand previously over his mouth simply hanging by his side. They probably would've stood there for another whole minute had Allen not called to them, asking if they were okay and could come up ahead. Kanda was the first to move, and Lavi could only watch him in silence. Things were far too tense between them right now to bother trying to talk with the other again. Soon after, Lavi himself followed, the only sounds being the creak of wood below from their footsteps.

xoxoxox

What occurred earlier that day had probably been one of the freakiest things that ever happened to Lavi, and probably the most wonderful somehow, too. Or maybe that was just his brain playing tricks on him? Either way, with his near-perfect memory, he was certain that nothing like it had ever happened, not even with anyone else. Kanda was the first person Lavi ever felt this strange ache in his chest towards, and ache that could be mistaken as none other than absolute yearning.

The question was; was it longing for them to be friends again and the feelings to go away? Or worse - could it be a longing that meant Lavi desired more than anything to venture deeper into these heartrending emotions? If that was the case, the bookman in training was sure he'd have to give up everything he worked so hard for in life, and _that _wasn't something he wanted to risk just yet. Not when Kanda could easily reject him _again _and cause him even _more_ pain. In other words, Lavi hoped with his entire heart it was the first choice.

Staring blankly at the ceiling as he thought, Lavi's attention was only caught when he finally heard the sound of knocking on his door and his friend's voice. "Ah… Allen?" Getting off the still slightly dusty bed, he wandered over to the door and opened it. "What's up?" he asked with a smile.

"I just came to check on you, is all, everything alright?" While saying this, the teen poked his head into the room to check it out. "Geez, you always pick the creepy rooms, you know that?" Lavi laughed and Allen smiled. Allen knew he himself tended to like such rooms, too, so it was ironic to say such a thing to his red haired pal. "Well? Is everything?"

"Oh! Oh, yes," Lavi said softly, standing up straight and shoving his hands behind his head. Everything was perfectly fine. He was lost in a seemingly never-ending void of emotions that he not once felt in his entire life, and Kanda, who was the target of them, wanted nothing to do with him. Yup, just _grrrreeeeat_. "How about with you? And how are Jacob and Yu-san doing? They okay?" He didn't mean to, but the way he said Kanda's name sounded regretful and sad. He only hoped Allen didn't notice.

"Hmm," the teenager rubbed his chin and pondered it. "Well, I know Jacob is completely fine and resting, though he was a bit creeped out by a huge spider in his room earlier. I had to move it outside." He chuckled. "But Kanda, on the other hand, I have no idea where he went. I bet he's outside or something. Don't worry, he'll come to bed soon too, and we'll all get to looking for that Innocence after some rest."

Apparently Lavi had either been lucky or Allen just wasn't the brightest light in the group. Actually, it was more than likely a mix of both. "Well, at least the finder is doing okay. I guess you're right about Yu-san… I'll wait for him because I'm kinda worried and want to see him - I mean, I'll make sure he'll be okay! You know, with akumas possibly roaming about and all."

Allen gave Lavi an inquiring expression and Lavi swore he was just found out. Or maybe not. "Why do you always call Kanda that? 'Yu-san' or even 'Yu-chan'? It's kind of silly, you know? Is it because he's Japanese and you do it to make him feel more comfortable?" Allen was either stupider than Lavi thought, or he was really, really tired. Whichever it was, Lavi was relieved and Allen blinked at him curiously.

"No, well, it's that and… We're friends, I hope. I respect him. In Japan, 'san' is an equivalent to the respect of Mr., Ms., etc, you know? It would probably be better if I said 'Kanda-san' to show even more respect, but I just don't see why I should call him that." He grinned, poking Allen's forehead. "Or why I shouldn't be calling you bean sprout all the time like he does. I only do it once in a while."

"Ah, I see. I get it. Oh and, be glad you only do it that often or you'd have me on you too, just like with him," Allen joked, giving him a look that was filled with sarcastic humor. "Regardless, I'm hitting the pillows, Lavi. Goodnight." With a yawn, the teenager rubbed his twilight silver eyes and headed back to his own room which was only a couple doors to the right and across the hall from Lavi's room. It was pretty close if Lavi needed someone to go to, and because of his currently screwed up mind, he was glad Allen had chosen a room nearby instead of far for that very reason.

Speaking of which, he couldn't help but wonder where Kanda chose his room. If he already had, it was surely far away from Lavi's, so there was no possible way they were even going to see each other until morning, that was almost certain. Of course, this happened to be a time when Lavi proved himself wrong.

"What are you doing still awake?" Lavi'd recognize that deep voice any day and he knew off the bat who it was. Dark locks of thin hair fluttered down as Kanda undid his trademark high ponytail, stopping his walking and movement altogether when he came to Lavi's door. Kanda's voice didn't sound mean, just normal this time, and he appeared to be getting ready for lights out, too.

Scratching the back of his head, the younger shrugged. "I was talking to Allen for a bit, but ended up spacing out after he left." Noticing the way Kanda was peering into his room out of the corner of his eye, Lavi shifted slightly, so he was in vision range instead. "Why do you ask?" he added, leaning against the doorframe.

"Curious, I guess," Kanda said quietly, his gaze now even with the pretty emerald shade of Lavi's eye. "You're the one who enjoys sleep the most out of all of us, so I thought maybe you'd be out by now." From the looks of things, Kanda wasn't planning on heading to his own room until he was satisfied with the things he was getting from Lavi. In other words, he _wanted_ Lavi to ask some questions of his own as if it would keep Kanda from getting sleep otherwise.

Clearing his throat, Lavi moved aside and held out a hand, pointing it into his room. "Why don't you come in if you want to chat? I don't mind." Kanda gave him the 'what do you think I'm stupid?' look in response, and Lavi frowned. "Look, Yu, I need to ask you…" Shifting uncomfortably this time, Lavi rubbed the back of his neck and tried his best to look Kanda in the eyes when speaking. "Is there… well, any reason you think I'd feel, maybe, _different _towards you?"

"Different?" Kanda seemed bemused. He shoved his hair tie into a pocket and crossed his arms, giving Lavi a stare that wouldn't allow the other to not explain what he'd meant. The Japanese's voice dropped slightly, and he glared. "What the hell are you talking about, rabbit-brat?"

Lavi couldn't help another sigh from escaping his lips. "What I mean is, maybe…" Embarrassed, confused, and growing more tired by the second, Lavi took a deep breath and decided to just spit it out. "Do you think it's possible I've developed a crush on you over all this time?"

For about ten seconds straight there was silence, and Lavi could hear the growl from Kanda as the older man finally got his brain to comprehend the question. Glaring hard enough to melt the other boy if was possible, Kanda then moved his arms down and turned away, storming off down the hall to his room. Without even looking back, he went inside and slammed the door shut in anger.

Okay, so apparently asking such a question had offended Lavi's comrade? Heaving a heavy sigh, the red-haired exorcist slowly closed his door and leaned his back against it, staring at the floor with a deeper frown. Well, at least he knew which room Kanda had chosen to reside in, but that hadn't exactly gone the way Lavi wanted it to, and he felt horridly stupid and further puzzled than before.

Why had Kanda nearly kissed him earlier under the porch? If he was only going to reject Lavi in a cruel manner when asked the inevitable question that'd probably haunting both of their minds the whole day, _why _almost do it in the first place? All Lavi was left with was the pain and regret now, and he wished he could tear his heart out or mask the feelings like he'd always done in the past for previous records. Unfortunately, he found it frustrating to try option two, and he certainly wouldn't be dumb enough to stab himself in the chest then rip out an organ that kept him alive.

Grumbling, he dragged himself to bed and decided he would sleep it off, hoping with his all that sleep would do him some major good since he'd been lacking it. Maybe if he was lucky he'd have some peaceful dreams and they'd take his mind off of everything for a while. Yeah, right, since when had Lavi ever been the lucky type?

Flopping down on the old mattress and sheets, he pulled a blanket over himself and stared up at the ceiling for a bit blankly. Despite how dark it was, he could still see the white of the plaster, and it served as a perfect canvas for his mind to paint illusionary pictures of the Japanese exorcist on. Cheeks flushing lightly, expression shifting to annoyance, Lavi turned to his side and shut his eye, counting sheep to distract himself…

The next thing Lavi was aware of was the feel of something crawling on the skin of his face and his eye slowly opened in reaction to it. Jumping up in place, he swatted a long-bodied cellar spider off and watched the insect run to under the nightstand to hide. "Nasty," he muttered, half asleep. "I'm glad it was a harmless one and didn't bite me… and that I didn't squish it on myself. Yuck." Rubbing his eye, Lavi yawned and stretched. What time was it, anyway? He couldn't tell.

Shifting until his long slim legs were over the side of the bed and his feet touched the floor, the bookman stretched in a different way before finally letting his arms flop down. Well, at least he felt like he'd gotten a fair amount of sleep and not too little like the previous day. He felt much better now too. Lavi waited a bit before his eye adjusted to the surprising dim light of the room before looking at the old clock on the nightstand.

First of all, it was weird enough that it was this bright out at 4am, especially during the winter, but odder yet was the mystery of how such an old clock still worked. The first could simply be explained with an easy 'the moon's just reflecting more light than usual at random,' but the second… Picking the object up, Lavi realized it was recently wound, and suspiciously it had not a single bit of dust on it, unlike the rest of the objects in the room the exorcist hadn't touched before going to bed. Also, he hadn't even noticed the strange clock here before sleeping, either.

Before Lavi was capable of thinking more into the matter, though, the sound of a curse, a _Japanese_ curse at that, startled him enough to jump in place and glance toward a window. Setting the clock back down on the nightstand, he got up and wandered over to the glass panel, opening it up. Crisp night air bombarded Lavi's lungs when he stuck his head out the window, and he peered down past some tall trees to find Kanda on his knees, sword thrust into the soft dirt of the Earth.

Concern filled the younger's expression at first, but it was quickly replaced by relief when he noticed Kanda had simply just slipped on a moist patch of mud. That wasn't like him, Lavi realized, and he couldn't help but chuckle softly as he pictured the scene in his head. Quite comical, really it was. Although, Kanda himself definitely wouldn't find it funny too, in fact, he'd probably throw Mugen at Lavi's head if he saw him laughing. The thought alone made Lavi stop his quiet laughter almost instantly.

Now he remained silent, watching his comrade resume his usual early morning training, not able to help his heart from fluttering out of his chest at how graceful and gorgeous Kanda looked when he moved his body in time with the long weapon. Lavi wasn't going to pretend he wasn't dumbstruck or hypnotized by it, that'd be far too hard at this point. Kanda's flexing muscles and flowing dark hair was also way too distracting, and Lavi swore he'd not be able to stop looking if his life depended on it.

In awe, literally he was, and his mouth hung open a bit as his eye kept itself affixed on the handsome and astonishing samurai. Did Kanda _always_ have to not wear a shirt when he was training alone outside? Not that Lavi was complaining, oh no, he was rather turned on by it actually, especially since he could see every little detail on Kanda's torso including his stomach, chest and back. _Oh_, his _back_… Images of the last time Lavi'd watched this mixed with the present, and he whined softly at recalling how he'd had a better view the previous time. But damn, this was surprisingly _just as _bad if not worse.

By the time Lavi'd actually realized what was happening with his body, he felt terribly hot and awkward, brushing his bangs out of his face to see if it helped. Obviously it didn't, and he found himself feeling more than uncomfortable. Aching with a sudden need to do _something _to get rid of the discomfort he was feeling, he did the first thing that came to mind; he ran straight out of his room, down the hall, and into Kanda's sleeping quarters.

Lavi didn't really care how he was only half dressed, or how he wasn't supposed to be intruding in the Japanese exorcist's private room, all he cared about was fixing his current problem. He'd deal with Kanda's absolute furiousness later when he felt better and up to it. Shoving the door shut behind him, Lavi moved to the other's bed, catching sight of his shirt resting there. Shirt… scent…

Diving into the old bed, he got a hold of the piece of clothing and shoved his face into it, taking a whiff of the older man's scent. A light flush instantly colored Lavi's face, and he pressed the article onto the pillow, then laid his face there, hands fumbling with his own clothes. _Shit_, this was bad enough that he could probably match the stone walls back at the Order, and that was saying a lot, wasn't it?

With pictures of Kanda flooding his currently mixed up head, Lavi nuzzled into the black tank-top and began taking care of what he'd originally intended to, shuddering against the bed with each and every motion. It wasn't difficult to pretend someone else in particular was here with him, and Lavi was quickly shoving every last rational thought he had aside to focus on the feeling. Right now, all he wanted, all he _needed_ wasn't something he could have, so this would do.


	4. A Flower For Your Thoughts?

SS: I'm terribly sorry this chapter is about two and a half months late! It wasn't in my original plans for it to be, but unfortunately some sucky things happened offline. Anyway, rest assured, I am not going to drop this fic. Please enjoy chapter four!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 4 A Flower For Your Thoughts?**

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Warmth. Incomprehensible feelings crashing together all at once. And then more heat. His heart was sinking deeply into the same mattress his body was jabbing into at the moment. Hands clumsily did what nature told them to, because he wasn't even quite sure if this was 'doing it right.' Being a bookman, one didn't have much time to, well, you know…

Collapsing into the bed after an overwhelming eight, maybe ten minutes of agonizing pleasure, Lavi was left panting and dazed, trying to recall what the hell he was just doing in the first place. Oh, yeah. He was thinking of Kanda. And then… this happened. Embarrassed, he shoved his face into the pillow and tried his best to _not_ think about that older Japanese man anymore. If simply thinking about him training was going to lead to this, Lavi would prefer avoiding it to prevent such messes.

But _damn_, he could smell it… He could still smell the remaining traces of Kanda's scent, and that was enough to make the sleepiness overcoming him produce pretty images of a nice toned body and gorgeous long hair moving in surprisingly graceful manners to nothing but the wind's call. Lavi wasn't quite sure of it, but he figured he was probably drooling, and that he'd murmured 'strike' in a lazy tone at least once.

He had to stop thinking about him, seriously. Sure, he could not deny how handsome Kanda turned out to be in only three years, but he knew it was an exceedingly bad idea for a bookman to ever like someone like this. Lavi couldn't remember, even with his amazing memory, how many times Bookman had scolded him as a child about that, because little Lavi always found himself curious about such things and read a lot of books he shouldn't have. So liking Kanda was _definitely_ a bad idea.

Not to mention how Kanda would hate his guts even more than he already did if he ever found out what Lavi had been doing to the mental pictures of him. Oh how Lavi dreaded those bitter thoughts to the bottom of his heart and hoped for better. Not like Yu was the type to pay mercy; he'd snap at Lavi, try to decapitate him, then curse him out in every disrespectful and bad word he knew in both English _and_ Japanese. This thought was enough to push a sigh through the tired mongrel's lips.

Now he had a new problem at hand, though… How the hell was he going to clean up _and_ make it back to his own room? He was far too sleepy to force himself up, and even with knowing what Kanda would do if he saw him on his bed like this, Lavi couldn't work up the strength to leave. Perhaps it had something to do with wanting to leave or not wanting to leave. Of course, that would mean Lavi didn't want to leave. Quite frankly, when thinking about it, he didn't care.

Recalling the events of yesterday as they flooded his already swelling brain, Lavi let his eye drift shut, and the soft wind and crickets from outside became his lullaby. He'd done that more than once in his life, letting nature be a lullaby, and came to enjoy it a lot. Before falling asleep completely, though, he asked himself, very, very quietly, "From violent, twisted anger… to innocent, confused kiss attempts… Yu's really sick, isn't he…?" And that was the end of his being awake.

By the door of the room, the sound of wood being gripped creaked and floorboards, too. Lavi could hear it somehow, but he only thought it was a dream, so he didn't bother moving or trying to wake. Whoever was there didn't seem to want to attack the helpless redhead, because instead the sound of the door closing then light footsteps toward the bed said they were taking it cool he was there.

The shades of dark gray cast by the dim reflected rays of the moon hitting objects showed the shadows of another figure, another _human _figure, just standing by the bed as if watching him sleep. It was strange… Lavi could see it, but he knew he was still asleep. Maybe this was a dream? The figure then shifted, moving their hands down to place something over the slumbering Lavi's head. A flower? It certainly looked like one, and the hands soon tucked the stem into locks of red hair before moving back and leaving the room.

If it was true it'd been a dream, Lavi wouldn't be surprised. It was just, how often did he have dreams that felt real? Not very, especially with his incredible memory where he could memorize every single tiny detail of real life things, which often meant dreams were not so fun. Such a strange dream was nothing compared to yesterday's, though, and he quickly found himself ignoring it as his mind moved on to showing luscious images of a very attractive samurai.

xoxoxox

"Nn." Shifting to his side, Lavi slowly opened his eye to the brightness of a rising sun, and he couldn't stop the awaiting groan from escaping his lips in response. Morning already? But he was still so tired! Of course, he knew the reason for this sleepiness was thanks to what he'd done last night, but he didn't care. Ignoring the fact that today they'd all agreed to deepen their investigation for the Innocence possibly hidden here, Lavi let his body take control and pull him back toward sleep.

And if it wasn't for what just crossed his mind, he probably would've gone back into a peaceful slumber, too. Emerald orb snapping back open, the redhead practically jumped up in bed, the sight of a familiar sword leaning against the nightstand startling him. What the hell was Mugen doing right there? Hadn't Kanda been training with that thing last night? Further panicked by the realization that it meant Kanda had been here, Lavi attempted to calm himself down before he had a heart attack.

Okay, so it was a possibility Kanda had been here, he got that, but Yu wouldn't just leave his precious sword in a room without its owner, would he? No, definitely not. The other man wasn't so careless of his anti-akuma weapon. Did that mean something was wrong? Had something happened to Kanda? The thoughts obviously doing no good for his heart, the now frightened boy shuffled around in bed, trying his best to get up without hurting himself. Good grief!

Unfortunately Lavi knew this was no time to be worrying about himself, because if something _had_ happened to Kanda, he had to go get Allen right away. Though, would an akuma really be so stupid as to leave the other exorcist's Innocence here and not bother attacking Lavi, who was a perfect sitting duck through-out the night? The sudden thought made him rethink his worries, but before he could manage to relax himself completely, something else shocked him. In fact, that something else made him gape like an idiot.

Kanda was leaning against the side of the bed, eyes shut, breathing steady and quiet, head tilted down a little. One of his legs was out flat, the left one, the other, the right one, bent up and folded. His left hand was pressed against the floor for support and his right rested on his stomach. He wasn't moving the slightest bit, except for his chest which went up and down in time with his breaths. He was sleeping there, in other words.

Lavi had no complaints of this, of course, because the sight itself was breath-taking, and he instead began to ponder what exactly happened while he was asleep. Kanda didn't look very mad, but then again, it was hard to tell while the other man was out like a light. Actually, Lavi didn't care too much about that right now, he was more interested in staring at the second person his age as he slept, so he shoved the thoughts of how mad Kanda might be out of his mind again.

Peeking around the room, he noticed Kanda's boots were laying in a messy manner, meaning he'd kicked them off more than likely at some point. His jacket was over his shoulders as if someone had draped it there like a blanket, and the bottom of his shirt was rolled slightly, revealing his hip bones just a tad. Dark locks of hair were hanging down against the bed and spread over Kanda's chest, the hair tie he liked to use recently laying on the nightstand.

This meant Kanda had, in fact, actually seen Lavi in his bed, but had been possibly too tired at the time to give a rat's ass judging by how sloppy everything was. Kanda was no neat-nick, but he usually kept his things orderly to a degree. This all was why Lavi felt relieved… yet worried more-so. His previous thoughts of Kanda being sick were just re-awoken and before he realized it, he found himself hovering over his Japanese comrade, concern spread across his features from ear to ear.

Yu never got sick, did he? Out of the three years Lavi had spent at the Order, not once did he remember Kanda having even a cold. Perhaps it had something to do with his healing ability, no, Lavi was actually certain that was it. Kanda was always out, even in the cold, training to the point of exhaustion when sweat and dirt stained his skin, and he'd only stop when he thought it was enough, so it was hard to believe there was any other way he could've avoided being sick.

Lavi didn't realize he'd actually gotten closer to his Japanese comrade's face until he felt his own breathe bouncing back in his face. His vision suddenly focused on what was in front of him, instead of his thoughts, and he felt a lump form in his throat. Oh. Shit. A small bit of pink changed the usual color of the redhead's cheeks and he had to close his eye before he ended up doing something stupid - something _really _stupid. Something so stupid that it'd make Kanda never,_ ever _like him and destroy whatever little hope there was.

But _damn_, did Kanda even realize how hot he looked when he slept? No, of course he didn't, Kanda wasn't stuck on himself nor did he care much for how he or anyone else looked. Actually, scratch that. Kanda loved seeing Allen's disgruntled and distressed face whenever the Asian was 'beating' him at something, sparring, argument, you name it. Because of this, Lavi almost wanted to punch himself; some jealousy was creeping its way up into his chest at the memories.

"That's nothing to be jealous about…" he muttered almost inaudibly, trying to reassure himself while taking a deep breath to stay calm. It wasn't like Kanda loved Allen and was a sadist who enjoyed tormenting people he had feelings for, right? Biting his bottom lip, Lavi forced himself back up onto the bed to sit straight. Yeah, that's right, or else he'd treat his childhood friend Lenalee like shit.

But wait… he wasn't feeling 'friendly' things toward Kanda anymore. He wanted to do _waaaaaay_ more than what friends would do with Kanda, and he couldn't get rid of the awkward aura surrounding him whenever he was near the other man. So yeah, no, this wasn't about friendship. This was about something much more than that, something Lavi was unfamiliar with because he'd only ever had simple crushes on people before.

Trying his best to get his brain to process everything proved to be a useless act, so Lavi instead focused on resisting his urge to take advantage of Kanda while he was sleeping. Surely he'd get 'Mugenized' for such a thing, and he wasn't really willing to risk it right now. Not when he still had the slimmest chance of getting through to Kanda and explaining everything so they could kiss and make up, then have things back to the way they used to be.

Too late Lavi realized that was a bad choice of words to have echoing through his head at the moment. All of his logic faded altogether as he leaned back down, his face close enough to the other's this time that he could hear Kanda's light breaths and even feel them just as he'd felt his own before. Leaning closer, fingers digging into the bed, heart racing, breathing slowing, Lavi let himself be guided by the simple desire of actually tasting and feeling those other lips just once. Only once would be enough…

For a bit, Lavi's brain left the building and he kept his balance as best as he could while brushing his lips against Kanda's nose gently, careful not to wake him. Then he moved his mouth down ever so slowly, feeling, for the first time when thinking about a kiss, nervous. Maybe part of it was because of what Kanda'd do if he woke up, but for the most part Lavi figured it was because of wanting to kiss Kanda himself in the first place. Not only was the samurai another man, but he was also someone Lavi'd known for three whole years as a 'friend,' which definitely added to the awkwardness.

If Kanda _did _wake up now, everything would go downhill and Lavi would've successfully completely destroyed whatever tiny sliver of friendship the two of them had before this mixed up mess occurred. Yes, then he'd tell himself, 'Congrats, dickhead. You screwed up big time!' The thought made Lavi stall a bit, but he swallowed and quickly damned it before cupping a hand under Kanda's chin and leaning close once more, not willing to stop.

Kanda's breath tickling his face felt good, and so did the other's chest rising and falling to make it happen; Lavi had just realized his second hand had dropped to feel around there at one point and that was the reason he knew. For a moment he felt he couldn't breathe as locks of red hair met with bluish black, and Lavi's mind went blank as heat spread through his entire body all in an instant. So close, so…

"Kanda! I can't find Lavi anywhere! Do you know where he is?" …far away. Gasping as the door flung open, Lavi ended up losing his balance and slipping off the mattress, landing in probably the most awkward position in his entire life - and that was saying a lot, considering how he landed awkwardly many, many times. "Kanda, are you even awake - eh…?" The young bookman didn't need to look over at the doorway to tell what kind of expression was now on Allen's face, the boy's tone of voice and word of bewilderment were enough to implant a mental image inside his head.

Lavi was frozen, his face implanted into Kanda's crotch, his own lower body lightly brushing against the older's torso and head. Right at this moment, he wanted to die out of embarrassment. The impact had surely woken Kanda up and there was no way he was going to get out of this. Yeah, Yu was going to detest him with a burning passion for sure. At least - that's what he thought.

Lavi's cheeks turned a vivid pink and he squirmed to get out of this position as fast as possible. Luckily Kanda was still asleep, but no matter why Kanda was still asleep, this position was not good for Lavi's face, which meant the position was _definitely_ not good for his composure.

Falling onto his back, smacking against Kanda's legs, Lavi let out a sigh of relief despite the bones of Kanda's knees digging into his shoulder blades. At least he'd managed to get himself out of that horribly awkward position that sent not only chills up his spine, but heat up elsewhere. Now it was time to face the new problem at hand and clear his mind of that, though.

Allen's mouth was hanging open a little and his eyes were wide as if he'd seen something he could not comprehend or believe really happened. The 16-year-old probably wasn't expecting to open Kanda's door and find Lavi in there, needless to say the two in such a weird pose, so it was only natural for him to be that way and Lavi had no arguments. "Lavi," the more than confused Allen started, "just what was going on in here?"

A time when he needed his brain working most, it wasn't, and Lavi had no idea how to explain the current situation. He could always tell Allen the truth, that he wanted to kiss Kanda, but then, how the heck would the kid react to that? Lavi was certain Allen would be more than suspicious that the redhead was after something further than a kiss judging from what he'd just seen.

"I, uh, fell asleep here last night," Lavi said softly, his voice shaking slightly from nervousness. If the truth was a bad idea, wasn't lying worse? Oh, screw it. "I was worried about Yu-san, so I wanted to check on him. He wasn't here, though. And…" Hesitating, he glanced up at Kanda's face. "I came in here without Yu's permission, so when I woke up, I panicked. That's all…" Wow, weird, Kanda was still sleeping! Even after all that noise, the other man seemed to still be in the world of dreams, which made Lavi feel all the more relieved.

To add to his relief, Allen laughed softly and shook his head. "You and your awkward landing positions kill me. I'm surprised you didn't wake Kanda up." A smile rested on the teenager's lips after he finished and he waved a hand. "Relax a bit, we'll all get back to work after breakfast. Just… you might want to get out of there before Kanda _does_ wake up."

That would be a good idea, wouldn't it? Sitting up, Lavi heaved a sigh and finally managed to get his brain to work a little - only a little. It was still apparently stuck on how this would be a good chance to steal a kiss, or… or maybe more. The embarrassment showed clear on Lavi's face; his cheeks burned a bit, his expression shifted to an uncomfortable one, and he had to bite his lip to prevent himself from making any stupid noises.

_Damn you. _The words repeated in his head over and over again, and he began to blame Kanda for this whole mess. Well, it was partially his fault, anyway, actually. He'd been acting so weird since the whole thing started, and to make matters worse, he'd tried to… Recalling _that_ did not help Lavi in getting up and leaving the room, so he quickly tried to think of something else that would.

Apparently he was incapable of doing so, because by the time he'd given up due to a headache, he had turned all the way around, now sitting in front of Kanda simply staring at him as he slept. Wow, he looked just as pretty as when he was outside training, Lavi found to his own enjoyment. Maybe one kiss really wouldn't matter. After all, Kanda was the one who wanted to initiate it in the first place. _Yeah, _Lavi reassured himself, _Yu wanted this, so I'll just_…

"What, for the fucking love of Earth, are you doing, rabbit?" A gasp slipped past Lavi's lips when he realized he was hovering an inch from Kanda's face and the other man was now wide-awake, eyes narrowed into a glare, just not a full-fledged 'I'm going to murder you' one. That alone was surprising all in itself.

Lavi was at a loss for words and his mouth hung open in a gaping manner before he clamped it shut and glanced down, unable to look Kanda in the eyes. What he saw when he did so was enough to make him feel trapped in a very, very bad situation. One of the Japanese's hands was wrapped tightly around Lavi's right wrist, which was pressed against one of Kanda's thighs. With that iron grip there was no way Lavi would manage to get out of here without an explanation for sure.

Seeing as there was currently no way out of this, Lavi tried his reasoning skills. "Ah, Yu. Were you really awake all this time? I thought you were sick with how deeply you were sleeping. Ahahaha." Tipping his head back up, he faced the other once more, who had a very impatient look stamped on his face. "I guess I was being stupid, right? Hahaha, just stupid…"

"You're avoiding my question." Kanda wasn't in the mood for excuses as he never was. Lavi swallowed when the grip on his wrist got tighter. "Huh, you look kind of nervous." A cold smirk worked itself onto the Asian's face, he seemed to find the way Lavi appeared amusing. "Is there something you're trying to hide? The truth can't hurt you too, too bad, you know. I won't cut your head off or anything, I promise."

"I…" _That_ smirk was not good for his composure, Lavi realized. For the first time he found himself thinking it was incredibly hot, and he struggled to keep himself calm. "I, um… thought you were sick, really. I wanted to see if you were okay."_ Please, please accept it, please._ Lavi was begging the other in his head by now, somehow hoping it would raise the chances, however small they be.

Obviously not buying it, Kanda raised his other hand. "You…" Fearing the worst, Lavi braced himself - only to be flicked on the nose. His eye went wide in confusion and he rubbed the spot where he was hit by the finger. "…are really stupid." Sighing, Kanda let go of the joint he'd been grabbing tightly and rose to his feet, stretching a little. "I don't care why you were here, just go. We have a mission to finish."

Not bothering to argue, far too shocked and confused all at once, Lavi nodded slowly and practically jumped to his feet. If Kanda was giving him an open invitation to leave without anything gruesome being done to him for intruding, then by all means, Lavi was going to gladly accept his offer - even if that meant he couldn't get the kiss he'd so badly wanted. At least he'd be in one piece, which was good enough to try again in the future.

Try again? Lavi couldn't help another sigh from emerging from him. These thoughts and feelings had to go and fast. But to get rid of something, finding the source of it from the beginning helps to clear confusion, and that's what he was still determined to do. At least, after he got this cursed mission over with. Distractions would make the trip never-ending. Lavi damned his thoughts and heart all over again for now.

Kanda stood in place for a little while, making damn well sure Lavi really left and didn't dawdle, then ran a hand through his hair as if pondering something that had been bothering him. As pieces of his bangs slipped and fell back over his forehead, he glanced at the floor and blinked a few times fast. "Huh…?" Bending over, he reached for something laying there, then picked it up.

It wasn't everyday you find a small odd-looking flower laying on your floor, so Kanda was certainly bemused after realizing what it was. "Must've been the rabbit…" he muttered as he came to a quick conclusion, twiddling the small thing in his hand. "That or the wind, but more likely the rabbit." Taking a seat on the bed then letting himself fall back until he was laying there, he turned the flower between his fingers, thinking a little more about what was going through his mind currently.

Glancing at the flower, Kanda practically growled when he was reminded of something that occurred yesterday. His brain forced him to picture the look probably on Lavi's face when he'd crushed the small daisy so similar to this petaled plant in his hand currently, and it made him toss the thing aside with a scowl. Goddamnit, why was he being reminded of that, and why did he even care? "Baka usagi…" The words came out as a sigh.

xoxoxox

Had this whole mess not started, Lavi would probably be harassing Kanda right now about something incredibly stupid. That, or playing with his long hair. But of course, it had happened, and as the two walked down the halls of the mansion continuing their investigation, Lavi couldn't help but stay far behind Kanda, not willing to get close in fear of his emotions distracting him again or angering his comrade.

Unfortunately, his heart wasn't allowing him to forget, and it was causing a great deal of distraction once more already. Lavi couldn't remember the last time he ever felt this strongly - probably because he never had before. It was odd, like some sort of magnetic attraction pulling him in with no way to deflect it. It made him feel a whole mix of things, including confused, awkward and slightly angry. If he had no control over his own feelings, how the hell could he surpass Bookman?

Of course, letting his brain wander off into oblivion to ponder such things proved more than once to be a horrifically bad idea, and the same thinking organ definitely wasn't planning on not proving it yet again, it seemed. So deep in thought, Lavi ended up slamming right into Kanda, who'd apparently stopped short after hearing something. Gasping, the redhead ended up taking a whiff of the other man's scent and clumsily jumped back to avoid doing anything stupid…er.

Kanda simply grumbled to himself, not even turning to look at Lavi and continued down the hallway. But wait, hadn't Yu heard something? Maybe or maybe not, as he was already out of sight down the hall. Either way, Lavi became curious if it'd be better to stay this far away to avoid any more incidents, but at the same time was overcome by the slight fear of being attacked alone.

And just to make that anxiety deepen, the overwhelming feeling of somebody watching him gave the bookman in training chills right down his spine. It was a definite possibly an akuma or two were hiding in here, and with his current situation, being 'emotionally unstable,' Lavi really preferred not being alone. So, without bothering to look around for anyone or anything, he rushed up ahead to look for his Japanese company instead.

The dark halls of the mansion did no good for his composure since such things really freaked him out as it was. _Thump, thump, thump. _The sound of heavy footsteps other than his own caused him to look around cautiously, hoping they belonged to the very person he was searching for and not something else. "Yu…?" the 19-year-old got himself to call in a quiet voice. "Yu, are you here?"

No answer, but the footsteps did stop. The one thing Lavi hated about winter was how it got darker earlier. The sun had already set by now, so he was having a lot of trouble seeing anything currently, needless to say Kanda. If only he hadn't forgotten to bring a lantern, though he couldn't really blame himself, for his scattered mind wasn't really in the best shape to work properly.

Figuring the only option he had right now, in order to avoid slamming into Kanda or something, was to call out the other's name once more, Lavi did so, this time in a louder voice. "Yu?" Lavi always felt more comfortable talking rather than quietly waiting for replies, so he continued. "Yu, come on, it's not funny. I know I've annoyed you a lot, but that doesn't mean you have to go about getting revenge on me at times like this." As if thinking it would solve everything, he finally shouted, "Yu, I hate hide-and-seek!"

In turn, he felt a kick to one of his shins and he jumped in place. A hand clamped itself over his mouth and Lavi suddenly found he could see Kanda's face pretty clearly in the dark, glaring at him from only inches away. "You're noisy…" the older of the two grumbled softly, and his voice didn't exactly sound lethal. "Hush. You'll make the whole place fall down. Now stay behind me, damnit, and don't loiter. You become a nuisance that way. Got it?" Lavi could only nod. "Good. Let's go." While saying those last words, Kanda's hand dropped and he continued along, Lavi making sure to stick to his statements by following closely behind.

If there was a word to describe how he was feeling right then, Lavi was pretty certain he needed to figure out what it was. Unfortunately, he had no clue, being brain-dead from the events just now and occurring before. Those deep bluish black seeing orbs belonging to Kanda looked surprisingly more attractive in the dark with small bits of dim light reflecting off of them. Lavi shuddered. Oh, damn these emotions to Hell! Why did they only deepen?

xoxoxox

"You can sleep a while, I'll stand guard first." The whole day apparently went by, and it was nearing twelve o'clock midnight, so said the hands of the pocket watch Kanda was holding in his hand. The two exorcists, Kanda and Lavi, were sitting in a fairly large room that contained all sorts of antique looking items such as fine china and glass tea sets, the walls lined with shelves carrying so many of those exact items.

Kanda was mumbling to himself, obviously annoyed about something. Lavi didn't dare ask what as he recalled how many times after that first one he had stopped and gazed off into space, then ended up calling for Kanda again like a lost puppy looking for its owner. He imagined the other had already gotten sick of his constant whining of 'Yu! Yu! Where'd you go?', so he didn't say a word.

"Hey, stupid rabbit, did you hear me?" Slightly startled, Lavi glanced up at the other who only huffed. "You weren't listening to me, were you?" Lavi's mouth shaped into a crooked smile as he shook his head, nervous. Kanda sighed. "I said you can sleep first. I'll stay awake and keep a look-out for akuma. It's why I was training while the rest of you slept yesterday night."

Oddly enough, Lavi found himself gaping, his eye having grown wide. Kanda was training all that night to keep himself awake _just_ to be ready in case he needed to protect the rest of them? Lavi was honestly touched as he forced his gaze down and expression to shift to something more blank. "Well, thank you," he said softly, "but I doubt I can sleep."

"I don't care," Kanda retorted in an angered, defensive voice, surprising Lavi all over again. "Try to. You're starting to look sickly with your lack of sleep and it's no good for a bookworm, especially." Apparently Kanda didn't like being stared at, because when Lavi lifted his gaze to look at him again, the astonishment clear on the mongrel's features, the Japanese turned away. "Stop that and sleep, idiot." He peeked out of the corner of his eye to make certain Lavi did just that.

Heaving a small sigh, the hammer-wielding exorcist slumped down on the floor and used a small pillow he'd found on a chair as a cushion for his head. This wasn't nearly half as comfortable as those crappy old beds, but he was used to worse conditions thanks to his travels with Bookman. Even so, he still gave a small complaint. "Eh, Yu, why can't we go back to our rooms?"

Kanda shot a glare at him. "Because, moron, it's easier to continue our investigation this way." He crossed his arms and shifted, seeming uncomfortable suddenly, but Lavi couldn't quite put a finger on why.

"I bet Allen went back to his room with the finder," Lavi added after some seconds passed by, purposely trying to get Kanda to keep talking with him. Not only did it make Lavi feel better to talk with someone, especially in this situation, but he thought maybe it'd give him the chance to get to know his comrade a little better.

"I don't care what the sprout did. Go to sleep." Obviously Kanda didn't want to talk, though, and much to Lavi's dismay, he went quiet. Typical of the mighty and fearsome Yu Kanda to not want to talk about anything except exact mission facts. Lavi apparently should've gone with Allen, at least he'd have some company willing to chat! But _nooooo_, he ended up with Kanda!

How hypocritical of Lavi to suddenly sour the thought of _not _having Kanda around, preferring the Asian be there simply because of his stupid heart not knowing when to quit with fake feelings for the samurai. But the question was… was Kanda somehow suffering just as much as he was? It was a possibility, considering how Lavi had been only inches away from being kissed under the front porch by that very man sitting across from him.

Sighing, the bookman in training surrendered his mind and body to the much needed sleep he so badly desired. Shifting, red locks of hair falling down to cover most of his expression, eye shutting, Lavi opened his mouth a little to breathe through there quietly in an attempt to calm himself into slumber, rather than letting all his worries come back to force him awake even longer.

A minute later, he was in a light sleep, actually feeling an overwhelming amount of security knowing Kanda was there. It felt strange to feel so safe, but maybe, despite the Japanese's own hostile persona, it was natural, considering how the other man's words from before struck a chord in Lavi's heart. '_I'll stay awake and keep a look-out for akuma. It's why I was training while the rest of you slept yesterday night_.' Those words had certainly become a lullaby for the green-eyed exorcist, and he figured he'd have to return the favor and let Kanda get some sleep himself later on…

By the time Lavi was fast asleep, Kanda had begun to meditate to try to calm his nerves for the rest of the mission. As unlikely as it was to last, he still found it helpful in relaxing for the time being. The rabbit-brat was sleeping, so there was no noisy, annoying person to frustrate him more, and the beansprout was no where in sight along with that idiotic finder. "Yokata…" Kanda muttered in his native tongue, the sound of his voice both a tired and grateful quality.

If it wasn't for Lavi sleeping nearby, Kanda would've probably decided it better to break something to take out his current stress - but the fact was that Lavi _was_ here, sleeping right across from him. He wasn't so cold-hearted as to wake up the exhausted younger male, and besides, Lavi'd only get in the way more if he were some sort of walking zombie.

As he tried to clear his mind with further meditation, the sound of soft, gentle mewling noises could be heard due to how quiet it really was in the room currently. Kanda's shadowy-colored eyes snapped open and he glanced over at the source of the sounds. "Lavi?" No response, apparently he was still asleep. Sighing, Kanda slumped back against a wall and stared into darkness. Damnit, the rabbit had him worried for a bit there, which totally made him feel all the more uncomfortable.

"Yu…" Which was exactly why Kanda hadn't expected the same person to whimper his name in a pained voice. Flinching, Kanda focused his vision on Lavi once more. "Why…" Why what? Almost as if answering his mental question, Lavi continued in a small voice, "…can't you be more honest with me?"

Despite how annoyed he was at the question he'd just been 'asked,' Kanda knew Lavi was asleep and that it'd be pretty pointless to reply. He could basically tell Lavi was in the world of unconsciousness from the way the redhead was speaking and laying, and also from his past experiences with him. He definitely knew the brat fairly well by now. Still, despite those facts, Kanda leaned over and whispered by his comrade's ear in a semi-cold voice, not caring that his breath was probably tickling the cartilage there. "Shut up and sleep… Lavi…"


	5. A Little Insurance

SS: I know, I know, I'm terrible with updating quickly. I have improved over the years though thankfully, and your reviews do help inspire me to finish as well, believe it or not. Thank you so much for your kind words and please enjoy chapter five!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 5 A Little Insurance**

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Lavi wasn't quite sure why, but the next morning, he woke up in an extremely good mood. His long arms extended outward as he stretched, and he took his time with waking up completely, sitting up slowly then rubbing his un-patched eye in the same manner. He didn't bother fixing his bed-head hair and instead concentrated on focusing his vision on the first thing he opened his eye to.

Jumping, he gasped softly and had to take a double take. Kanda was sitting upright beside him, his sword resting in his lap as he polished the blade, seeming bored. His legs were folded 'Indian-style,' his clothes slightly messed up. His hair ran loose, draped over one shoulder mainly while the rest of the long strands fell over his back. As soon as he noticed Lavi was awake he stopped messing with Mugen and glanced at him, expression mainly blank. "What?"

"G-good morning," the redhead stuttered, his voice a little hoarse much to his surprise. And also to add to that, he had to brace himself up with one hand fearing that he'd fall over otherwise. "How long was I asleep? I'm sorry, I don't think I even got up to keep watch once."

Kanda shrugged and set Mugen aside before laying his arms in his lap. "You were out like a light, I didn't want to bother you." Pausing, he stared firmly at the other man a moment, as if studying him or recalling something, then looked away. There was a strange flash of worry Lavi noticed on Kanda's features before his head turned away completely, but Lavi couldn't bring himself to comment on it. "You looked really tired, so I let you sleep."

Slightly embarrassed, Lavi rubbed his forehead and tried to recall any dreams he may or may not have had through-out the night that would make him feel so good despite everything that had happened the past few days. When nothing came up except brief parts of nightmares, he sighed. Well, as far as he was concerned, it didn't matter very much, and he was happier yet to find Kanda had been gracious enough to let him sleep. But wait a minute…

"Yu!" Practically lunging at the other, Lavi grabbed the man's shoulders and shook him. Kanda's eyes grew wide in shock then shifted to anger when he finally comprehended what was being done to him. "D-did you even get any sleep yourself?" Lavi quickly asked to try to avoid being slaughtered for having done what he just did. "What if you get sick? It'd be all my fault and then I'd…"

At first Kanda looked bemused, the anger fading momentarily, but he seemed to regain some senses just as fast and shook his head. "Idiot, I'm fine. Worry about yourself," he grumbled, rubbing the side of his head as he closed his eyes to keep himself calm. He didn't exactly look tired or anything, but everyone knew Kanda could be damn good at hiding how he was feeling if it wasn't anger or annoyance.

Lavi wanted to ask Kanda why he'd said what he did, finding it odd the pit of his stomach told him there was a deeper meaning to it, but he didn't know how to. 'Awkward' wasn't the right word for how he was feeling right about now. Heaving a sigh, he ran fingers through his hair and scratched the back of his head while his mind was swept into a pool of thought. Could it be he…?

A clanking sound soon brought him out of it, and he was shocked to see Kanda standing over him, one foot next to each outward side of the redhead's legs, having smacked his sheathed sword off a table to get Lavi's attention. "If you keep going into space like that I'm going to have to drag that stupid finder with me, instead."

"Sorry," Lavi started in a voice that didn't hide his surprise, "I wasn't trying to be a bother to you, I mean it. I just… These past few days… I've felt… I'm so…" Before he could think of what he wanted to say exactly, the feel of sharp metal was digging into his neck lightly, not enough to make him bleed. His green eye glanced upward and locked onto the other man, confusion filling it.

"I thought maybe this would snap you out of it." And this was just another bit of proof that Yu Kanda's methods were always harsh. _Very_ harsh. Moving his sword back, Kanda tapped the dull side on one of his own shoulders and stared at a wall, a sneer moving over his face. "You know, I actually find it funny when you act like some clueless woman who can't deal with their emotions." His tone turned cold. "I mean, at least girls have an excuse with their hormones, what's yours?"

As if those words struck through him like an arrow on fire, Lavi's expression turned to anger and he grabbed so roughly onto the end of Kanda's jacket that the other ended up tumbling down right on top of him. "_YOU ARE!_" Lavi screamed in frustration. "I'm so sick of your hot-cold attitude towards me lately! What the _fuck_ is your problem? One minute you're nice, the next you're an prick! If anyone can't deal with their emotions, it's _you_!"

Apparently Kanda hadn't expected such a reaction because his dark eyes were wide and he was left staring at Lavi with his mouth open a bit for at least a good solid ten seconds. Raising his free hand, he slowly moved it to Lavi's face and his knuckles brushed away some of the hair there. He muttered something, but Lavi couldn't understand it completely, especially since it was in Japanese. Needless to say, the younger man couldn't believe that instead of screaming back at him, Kanda would touch his face in such a way, and his formerly mad expression reflected his heartache.

A sigh slipped past Kanda's lips, but Lavi hadn't been quite sure at first who'd done it. Moving his hand up further, Kanda dug his fingers into the thick locks of red and tugged the one they belonged to forward. Lavi didn't bother to struggle, too suddenly lost in the moment. What in the world was his comrade doing? Had the bookman's outburst made the other delusional?

"It's nice this way." The four words made Lavi flinch and he found a familiar lump forming in his throat, unable to question what they meant. He didn't need to worry about that though, Kanda seemed to be glad to clarify. "Your hair. I like it when it's down. But you cut it…"

Bewilderment formed on his face and Lavi forced his brain to work long enough to reply. "W-what?" was all he managed to get out, expression ridden with more and more confusion with each passing second - but also a bit of sheepishness, too.

"You said I'm the one who can't deal with his emotions, didn't you?" Lavi flinched again. "I'm showing you I can. By the way, you always played with my hair in the past, didn't you? Huh, you like it so much?" Okay, Lavi was pretty certain Kanda was fucking around with him now, and that he simply wanted to prove him wrong. "Do you?"

"I didn't play with it because I like it, I played with it to tease you."

"Are you stupid?"

"You tell me."

Well Lavi was definitely not going to show any more weakness than he already had to such bizarre ways of getting to him, that was for sure. This whole mess had already eaten up half his brain cells, and he wasn't about to let the rest be devoured by those clingy emotions that wouldn't leave him be. He was going to keep his calm and deal back blows, yeah, that would work best.

Kanda made a huffing sound and released his hold on the clump of hair he'd been grabbing then rose before setting his sword down on a table. It seemed as if he didn't want to reply to what Lavi had last said, and the older of the two fixed his hair a bit before tying it up into its usual high ponytail without saying anymore.

If anyone were to ask Lavi how he was feeling after that, well, quite frankly he wouldn't be sure how to answer. His head was already spinning from the dream, the strange way Kanda was acting, everything, and he knew saying 'confused' was not nearly enough to cover each and every emotion pounding at the door of his heart. He wasn't exactly in the mood to bother pondering it all any longer, either.

Both men had apparently realized neither felt like bothering to shed useless words that would cause useless fights, so after an hour the two had fixed themselves up and were searching the mansion again. On the outside one couldn't tell just how huge the building really truly was, and the nooks and crannies, thousands of cabinets, closets, and so on, made it extremely difficult for them to conclude they'd even ever find any Innocence here. Such a tedious process also proved this be the perfect place for Innocence to be hiding.

Opening cabinet after cabinet was making Lavi more than bored, but he wasn't about to complain because he still felt weird about what happened earlier. Thus, he didn't want to do _anything_ that would attract Kanda's attention if he didn't need to, and he avoided getting close to the samurai as much as possible as well.

Kanda had been doing the same, keeping far ahead of Lavi and not even bothering to look back to check if he was still being followed. Perhaps he was mad about earlier, or maybe he felt awkward himself. Either way, he wouldn't say a word, not even some angry comment about Lavi being too slow or dilly dallying as he usually would.

Lavi was becoming pretty certain that if they went on this way, he wasn't going to be able to stand it anymore, for it was already driving him crazy. Hot, cold. Hot, cold. Bonding, fighting. Bonding, fighting. It was a never-ending string of pain that the bookman hadn't even wanted to happen or expected. Of course, the thought that Kanda was possibly suffering just as much about the whole thing only made it worse for Lavi, because he felt himself worrying and feeling guilty as if it were all his fault all over again.

But it _wasn't _his fault, was it? At least not entirely. He'd come to that conclusion before since Kanda was the one who first started acting really odd. Then again, his conclusion was being beaten down by guilt currently, and Lavi felt like this tormenting thing called a 'heart' needed to be kicked back into whatever hole it'd been in before he came to the Order.

Unable to stand the pounding of his head, Lavi stopped walking and took a seat on a random crate, one of his hands instantly shooting up to rub his forehead as soon as his butt hit the wood. He was nineteen, an adult, not some little kid who wouldn't know better about crushes and the like. So why was it he felt like a helpless school kid crushing on the hot new transfer student?

If anything, Lavi was still very uncertain as to how a simple dream, or, not so simple but a dream nonetheless, would make him feel so attached to one of his comrades - particularly Yu Kanda out of all of them. Thus far he'd barely gotten any answers in his little 'quest' to conquer over this, and he felt distressed and stupid. Perhaps his other alias in Road's Dream World had been right… Perhaps he was a failure as a bookman, especially if he couldn't figure out something like this.

Scratch that, he _was_ a failure. For one, he already let himself feel for these other exorcists and even considered them all to be precious friends to him. For another, he let himself fall for one of them in a deeper, more personal way. Yup, he definitely failed his life goal already.

Lavi was so lost in thought that he didn't even realize Kanda was calling to him until the other man grabbed both of his shoulders roughly, shaking him. Gasping, Lavi jumped in place, almost causing the both of them to fall. Bewildered, Lavi glanced at Kanda. "I'm sorry. What is it?"

The Japanese only shook his head and moved back. "I thought something happened, you weren't responding when I yelled to you. Anyway, I found something suspicious, come take a look since you're so smart." Lavi's eye followed Kanda as he wandered off into another room then glanced back out as if asking the redhead what the hell was taking so long.

Rising from the crate, Lavi took his time about it and stretched his arms high into the air, cracking his neck before eventually following after the other with his entire body. He didn't want to worry or annoy Kanda anymore than he already had, but he felt so lost that it was difficult to focus on the mission. "What's suspicious?" Lavi asked as he entered the room.

"Notice anything? That candle?" Lavi's gaze averted from Kanda to where Kanda was pointing, and his eye grew wide. "It seems someone was here, and not the sprout or finder." On a small desk clear of dust and dirt, there was a candle, half-burned, still flickering, and an open journal, a small jar of ink and a pen next to it. Someone had definitely been here, probably just before the two had arrived in the section considering how there was a chair shoved aside in a rushed manner.

Curious, Lavi wandered over to the desk and peered down at the journal, flipping through some of the pages. "The pages are blank?" Turning through the entire booklet to make sure, he frowned. Kanda moved up next to him and peeked over his shoulder to see for himself. "Or maybe…" Ignoring how he got chills from how close Kanda was, Lavi grabbed the jar of ink a moment, examined it, then set it back down on the desktop before lifting the journal.

"Or maybe what?" Kanda finally asked, expression puzzled. Obviously he had no idea what Lavi thought of, and it seemed to bother him that he felt clueless, so Lavi wasn't going to bother keeping him in the dark.

"Watch." Raising the booklet over the candle, he flipped open to a certain page and folded the booklet so that the two covers met and that page was sticking out alone. Kanda at first thought the other was an idiot trying to burn the book, but he couldn't believe what he saw when the light from the flame revealed words on the page. "Yeah, Yu, invisible ink. You've heard of it before, right?"

Huffing, the older of the two backed off a bit and crossed his arms, eyes shutting. "Yes, I have. Komui had some once. Now what does it say? Someone didn't want anyone reading this if they used that stuff. What if it's in regards to Innocence or akuma? It could belong to someone contracting with the Earl-"

Before Lavi could even begin reading though, his other comrade cursed and ran out of the room. Dropping the book onto the table, Lavi ran after him, confused by the sudden reaction but knowing it meant Kanda saw someone or something. What he saw, was what caused the confusion. Was it a person or…? Regardless, Lavi braced himself and got a hold of his Innocence just in case.

Unfortunately whoever or whatever it was appeared to have gotten away, because all Lavi found when he caught up, was a grumbling Kanda who kicked a door out of frustration. He didn't need to be able to see in the dark to tell how annoyed the older of the two was. "Hey… you know, it's okay. The dark makes it hard on us."

"Just shut up," Kanda growled, coming back toward his red-haired comrade. "Your words aren't going to make me feel better. Fuck, what if that was the person who owned the notebook?" A loud thumping noise told Lavi the Japanese had just stomped his foot down on the floor, barely keeping himself from a fit. Lavi couldn't blame him, this mission was getting dragged on and on, and the two of them simply wanted it done with and in the past.

Scratching a cheek with the tip of his finger, Lavi wondered if someone had been hiding in this place all along, simply waiting for them or trying to avoid them as best as possible. There was the definite chance of it, and the mongrel couldn't help but keep his thoughts focused on that possibility. If it were true, if Kanda was right and a contractor was here, then they were all in big trouble, especially if the Earl was notified of their whereabouts already.

Fearing the worst, Lavi figured after another moment it'd be best to go back and find their white-haired companion and the finder, then discuss the matter more. After all, they'd be much safer if they all stuck together. "Ah, Yu, sorry to bother you again, but maybe we should try to find Allen now. We'd be better off," he said in a medium-toned voice, trying not to be too, too loud. When he didn't get a response, Lavi began peering around the room, realizing he could not find the Japanese exorcist at all.

Panic slowly crept onto his features and he suddenly got smashed with a dreadful memory. This situation, it was… it was… it was just like the dream he'd had a few nights ago. Kanda kept disappearing into the darkness of a mansion the same way in that dream, and he'd even been following someone, too! Lavi began wondering if something was severely wrong with his head, and he tried to concentrate on searching for the other again.

"Yu?" Wandering back toward the room with the lit candle, Lavi kept his guard up high. If this were truly like his dream, he most certainly did _not_ want to get jumped by Kanda out of the blue! Or maybe he did, that thought alone freaking the bookman out. "Yu? Hey, this isn't nice! I know you hate me, but…" As an emerald gem spotted the older finally, who was in that very candle-lit room, Lavi let out a sigh of relief and walked up behind him. "What's wrong?" he couldn't help asking after a few seconds though, confused suddenly by the frantic way Kanda was acting, digging through stuff on the desk and looking around the floor.

"Where the hell is it? Did you grab it or not?" Twisting around, Kanda got a hold of Lavi by the scarf and tugged him close roughly, shaking him, but not hard enough to choke him. "Well? If that had some important information in it, we're screwed! Even someone as smart as you can't figure this out without such clues!"

Ridden with bewildered, Lavi forced his mind to focus long enough to comprehend what Kanda was getting at. Oh, of course! "Wait, did you just call me smart? Me, who you think is an idiot? And… you mean the notebook, right?" Feeling the grip loosen, Lavi lifted a finger to his lip then glanced at the desk. "Eh… I left it on the desk when I followed after you. It's not there anymore?"

Kanda's expression shifted to absolute exasperation, and he let go completely of the other's scarf with a scowl forming over his features. "You're serious?" Moving back to the desk, Kanda shuffled through the scattered papers and books on it, having no luck. "It's not here! For fuck's sake, Lavi, you're such a goddamn _idiot_! You should've taken it with you because now it's gone!"

Ouch. What probably stung Lavi the most right then and there was the fact that he'd usually not do something like that in a desperate situation like this, which meant he was still being distracted by the dreadful 'nightmare' despite his best efforts to stay focused. Though what probably added to the burning was the fact that right after calling him smart, Kanda dissed him all over again. Usually Lavi didn't care what Kanda called him, but lately he was so irked by the Asian that he couldn't stop the offense from spreading.

"Hey, at least I'm not acting like a prick at a time like this! I was worried about you and didn't want you to get attacked alone, _that's_ why I chased after you before!" Crossing his arms, Lavi shot Kanda one of his best glares, a mimicking gesture he was good at due to his nature of being a bookman. After all, after making so many successful aliases, one would become good at acting. "Geez, I won't next time!"

"Good! Don't! I've told you before, focus on the mission, not me, not anything else!" Retaliating, Kanda flashed the real thing, which was all the more intimidating simply because he was the original founder and therefore the best at his own terrifying angry stares. "You suck at this, being an exorcist, I mean! I can't even believe you're a bookman sometimes, either! Aren't they supposed to be smart?"

Twitching, instead of letting himself lose his cool and belting the other across the mouth, Lavi shook his head and looked off to the side. "As if you're one to criticize me!" Turning his gaze back, his eye narrowed once more. "For one, your education level is far below mine! For another, you stayed up all night watching over me!"

As if appalled only by that second accusation, Kanda's face first looked shocked, then shifted to bitterness and coldness once more before he perched his lips in a disgusted manner. "Why would _I _watch over _you_? You're an annoying rabbit! You may need supervising, but certainly not from me! Besides, I've no tolerance for such things as _bratty children_." By the time Kanda had finished he was smirking coldly, staring at Lavi out of the corners of his eyes.

"You know what? _Fuck you_!" Losing control over what little he had for his composure, Lavi slammed a foot down hard onto the floorboards beneath them. "All you do is insult me!" Another slam. "I make one fucking mistake and it's the goddamn end of the world with you!" Again. "The mission isn't failed or anything, so stop acting like a royal ass!" Stomping once more, but this time at Kanda, he spit out, "I should call you 'Yu-hime' from now on, princess _bitch_!"

"Why you little-!" Getting a hold of Lavi's scarf with two hands, the Japanese tugged in an extremely frightening way, more than ready to choke the other. His dark eyes were shrouded by venom and his expression appeared vicious. "Don't you _dare_, I'll make you regret the moment that thought ever crossed your mind, rabbit-brat!"

"You think I'm afraid of you?" A challenging look plastered itself across Lavi's face, a threatening, angry expression like the ones he'd directed at only enemies before. He was obviously getting quite fed up with being harassed so cruelly this entire mission for the littlest things. "If I were afraid of you, then I wouldn't tease you so much to begin with!" Ripping the elder's hands off his scarf, he turned and stomped out of the room.

Apparently Kanda wasn't done with their conversation like Lavi, and he practically chased after the other man, getting a hold of one of his arms so roughly that it startled Lavi enough to almost kick Kanda in the head. "Reflex," Lavi said quickly when he noticed the look of fury on his comrade's face, Lavi's own leg hovering slightly off the ground.

"Reflex this!" Bracing himself for a punch across the face, Lavi raised his arms defensively, only to hear a wretched creaking instead of feeling pain. Both Kanda and Lavi's gazes shot to the floor in time to find the boards snap beneath them, and suddenly the only other sounds that filled the room besides the snap of wood were their very own screams.

xoxoxox

Croaking out a groan, Lavi turned his head to the side and didn't bother trying to get his body to move yet, more concerned with focusing on making his shocked brain function first. What happened? Was he dead? Well, okay, the last thing he remembered was getting into yet another fight with Kanda, then suddenly the boards of the floor broke into pieces and both of them fell… Wait, both of them?

'Yu! Is… is he okay?' Forcing his eye open, he wasn't surprised to find more darkness, although something _else_ gave him a surprise. There was warmth, and a familiar scent of sweat and… yogurt? Blinking a few times fast, Lavi shifted until he was able to lift his head up, his gaze ending up directed right back into Kanda's. Instantly his cheeks heated in embarrassment.

"Don't say anything stupid," Kanda grumbled, his own face slightly flushed, the usual glare accompanying the odd emotion rarely seen on the other's face. "You were falling face first, so I grabbed you by the jacket and made sure you didn't break your head open." This quickly made Lavi realize he was laying _on top_ of Kanda, Yu's arm was around his waist, and he'd had his face shoved into the Asian's shoulder.

Ignoring his thumping heart, Lavi gave the other male a smile, trying to keep his composure. "Thanks." Shifting until he was sitting off to the side, Lavi rubbed the back of his neck and cracked it a bit, letting out a soft groan. Damn, just how far had they fallen? It felt like more than just one story. "If it wasn't for you, I'd have a pancake for a face. Eheh." Glancing up, he saw the dark shadowed hole from broken boards above them, highlighted by the dim beams of the moon peering in through cracks and windows, surprised by its size.

"Che. It wasn't anything special, I'm sure you would have moved anyway before hitting the ground." Kanda's dark bluish greenish black eyes shimmered in the faint light trickling into the room, and Lavi found himself distracted by them for the billionth time.

"It _was_ something special, and I probably wouldn't have moved _in time_." Scanning the Asian with his own green hue, Lavi paused his sight on a certain spot upon noticing something. "Yu, is your wrist okay? You're touching it as if it's hurt."

Kanda's eyes widened a moment and he muttered something to himself before 'tching' and looking away. "It'll be fine. It's just a small wound. Now quit your worrying and let's figure out where we are-"

"Your fingers on that hand, too! They're red! Yu, let me see!" Kanda shot the younger boy a glare, but sighed and extended his arm to him reluctantly. Lavi took the chance to gently snatch it and pull the fingerless black glove off Kanda's hand. Thanks to the bits of medical aid he'd learned over the years, Lavi was pretty darn sure what was wrong with Kanda's wrist and fingers. "You lightly sprained it. Your fingers just seem to be going through a shock, so to speak, but they'll be okay, too."

"And since when do you know all this junk?" Kanda asked, an eyebrow quirking up in inquiry, his eyes switching between his abused wrist and Lavi's face every few seconds. It was as if he was in disbelief and couldn't convince himself it was true unless he kept spying his wrist.

Lavi laughed softly and shook his head. "That's the kind of stuff you have to learn as a bookman. The basics. We go to a lot of wars, we sleep outside sometimes, we even go out in bad weather often for records, so it's necessary just in case." Taking a quick look around the room, Lavi let go of his comrade's arm and went to rise as he spotted an old drapery further across the room, the moonlight illuminating it as it shined through a window. That would be perfect to get Kanda's wrist fixed up!

Much to his dismay though, Lavi didn't even make it _one step_ across the room before collapsing in pain, a sharp ache traveling up his leg from his right ankle. He felt an arm wrap around his front quickly, helping to brace him up just a bit so he didn't fall completely. "Yu, I… whoa, what the hell's wrong with my foot?"

"And then you go worrying about me when you have your own wounds. Idiot…" Rolling his eyes in annoyance, Kanda helped the other sit properly and forced him to extend his leg, just as he'd been forced to extend his arm. "I'm not very gentle, you should do it yourself."

Chuckling, Lavi nodded slowly and, painfully, pulled off his boot, setting it aside before rolling up his pant leg. Oh, great, just perfect! He too had a sprain and it was ironically the opposite of Kanda's, whose left wrist was the joint injured.

"Well?" Kanda asked, peering down, not quite appearing worried, but at the same time his tone saying otherwise. "Were my efforts of protecting you all in vain?"

Giving his comrade a pitiful smile, Lavi glanced back at his ankle and tried to move it. "_Oww_! Um, uh, _no_! This just hurts a lot, but I'd much rather a sprained ankle than a broken nose, chin and skull." Rubbing his red and bruising foot/leg joint, he heaved a small sigh. "I can't put too much pressure on this when walking, so I'm going to have to use my hammer as a cane, I guess. How pathetic. Heh."

After a few more seconds, he felt a soft cotton material flutter over his head and land there, shrouding over him like a ghost. Confused, Lavi blinked a few times fast then reached a hand up to tug it down, finding Kanda standing over him. "Eh? What's-?"

"First tend to yourself, then you can do mine." It only took Lavi a second to realize what had been draped over him was the curtain he'd been eyeing across the room before, and that Kanda had gone over and snatched it for him. Apparently he really hadn't been the only one to notice it, and he couldn't help but chuckle and make a 'moaning' noise like a ghost as he pulled it back over his head.

Kanda first looked startled in the darkness, then a piercing glare moved across his features as he leaned down and tugged it off the other man, shoving it into his lap this time. "Would you quit playing around and treat to your injuries so we can find out where the fuck we are?"

Smiling at him first, Lavi glanced down at the cloth balled up onto his lap and began ripping it into long, narrow strips. "Sorry, I couldn't resist, but I'll get to it now," he said with a chuckle tied into the words. He really _couldn't_ resist, a guy like Kanda was too much fun to mess around with. Speaking of which, Lavi couldn't help but look back up at the said man, curiosity painted onto his features.

"Yu," he began, focusing his attention back on his wounded ankle before Kanda could notice he'd been staring at him again. With a pause first, he continued. "Was the only reason you protected me so I wouldn't get in your way more?" Wrapping a piece of cloth around the joint connecting his leg and foot, he pulled it tight, but not too tight, bracing himself for some sort of annoyed and pissed off answer.

To his surprise, however, he didn't get anything like that for an answer. "Tch. I didn't want to see your face look like a splatter of blood, that's all." Kanda's tone sounded slightly uncomfortable, as if he felt weird admitting to that, and Lavi could hear the scowl forming on his face when he began talking again. "Anyway, hurry it up or I'm going to go explore without you."

Sighing in relief, Lavi finished with his ankle then reached up and tugged Kanda down by his uninjured wrist. The other man made a startled noise and almost fell on top of him, stumbling to the ground. "What th-?" He was cut off speaking before he even had a chance to finish, huffing when he noticed Lavi starting to take care of his wounds. "I didn't think you'd take those words to heart," he grunted softly, looking away.

"Yu is Yu," Lavi said, grinning. "If I didn't take them to heart, you'd get angry. Besides, I kind of want to figure out where we are, too." Tying a small knot into the make-shift bandages, Lavi finished up by tucking away the remains under already wrapped parts. When he noticed Kanda wasn't paying attention though, a bizarre idea popped into his head at recalling an old story he used to read as a child.

Grasping Kanda's hand, Lavi pulled it up to his mouth and planted a small kiss on the large abused joint there while murmuring something against it, causing Kanda's eyes to grow wide as he jumped in place not expecting it the least bit. "Get better…" Confusion mixed with surprise on the Asian's features, and he practically tore his hand away after regaining some of his far-gone brain cells.

"What… _the hell_… were you just _doing_?" Kanda snapped, his face ridden with anger and embarrassment now. Despite that, Lavi could see a faint hint of enjoyment tangled up and hidden under those other emotions. Or maybe he was only hoping it was there. Either way…

"Teasing you," the redhead replied with a smirk. "In one of my favorite books as a child, the mother and father of the story used to kiss their kids' cuts and wounds and go, 'Get better.' I've always wanted to act that out for fun." The cheeky grin still rested on Lavi's features as he looked up proudly. Proud because he'd succeeded in proving that even the mighty Yu Kanda could be brought to such embarrassment with something so simple as a kiss to the hand.

Rising before giving Kanda a chance to get his brain to work to respond, Lavi reached for his hammer to extend it. He might as well get a head start to this investigating to avoid being slaughtered for what he'd done. Unfortunately his wounded ankle had other plans, and before he could do so much as pull his Innocence from its holder, he bit his lip to muffle a small pained noise as he fell back to the ground. "_Fuck_," he cursed, glaring at the joint.

A sigh could be heard off to the side and Lavi suddenly felt an arm wrap around himself. "You'll get in my way if I don't help you, so…" Kanda had taken his uninjured arm and was using it to help Lavi get up, something that made the redhead blink in surprise. "What? Why so quiet? You helped me, I'll help you. I hate owing people favors, plain and simple." Even though Kanda was saying such things, he couldn't seem to look at Lavi and instead was staring ahead as he helped him to his feet. Had what Lavi done not made him mad, but seriously completely embarrassed instead?

Actually, now that Lavi thought of it, could it be possible that Kanda was previously angry at _himself_ for having really _enjoyed_ what the bookman had done? It _was _possible! Just by how Kanda couldn't look at him, wasn't that proof enough? Okay, logically it wasn't alone, but with how the Asian had been acting ever since Lavi's dream, the younger man was pretty certain it was a definite possibility.

As the two slowly made their way through the apparent basement they'd landed in, Lavi found himself clinging to Kanda's neck with an arm in a desperate need to keep himself standing, his ankle threatening to give way at any moment. So much for not getting in Kanda's way - the older of the two kept making annoyed noises every time Lavi had to ask him to stop and let Lavi rest a bit. It wasn't _his_ fault this house was so big though, Yu could at least give him a break!

"Can't you use your hammer to bring us back up?" Kanda finally asked when they stopped for the fifth time and he let Lavi sit on an old crate. "It's not like the mansion will fall down on us if you do."

Lavi shook his head and laid his arms on his lap. "You don't know that for sure," he said, a sigh ending the words. "Look at what happened when we simply put our weight on floorboards. Besides, I want this mission to be over with just as much as you do, but the Innocence could even be down here. Don't you think this is a better hiding spot than upstairs?" A grin moved across the redhead's features when Kanda didn't answer, knowing he was right.

"Then get on my back," Kanda snapped, sounding almost desperate to get them along quicker. "I'm sick of stopping every ten seconds." Get on Kanda's back? The thought went through Lavi's mind and killed every brain cell he had. Normally such a thing wouldn't 'get to him' like this, but with how he was feeling for Kanda now, it'd be… As much as he'd love for that, he sighed recalling his comrade's injury.

"No, Yu, I can't." Before Kanda could interrupt, Lavi continued. "Your wrist will get worse if I do…" Having shot down both Kanda's and his own hopes, he let his vision drift off to the side, catching something very interesting out of the corner of his eye. "But you know what? I think I just got a good idea."


	6. Claustrophobia

SS: I'm so sorry, everyone! So much has happened between the last update and now, I'm hopeless. Anyway, please enjoy chapter six! Just the chapter itself is 8,075 words and I beat my record, I'm so proud! -pumps a fist triumphantly-

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 6 ****Claustrophobia**

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"What do you mean?" Kanda glanced curiously at the red-haired man, arms folding across his chest. "Good idea? Hey, spill it, rabbit." When he got no answer, he shifted his attention to whatever it was Lavi was now staring at. "Huh? What's that?"

To Lavi's left, there lay an old child's doll with realistic blue eyes and pretty blonde hair that looked almost like an actual person's hair. Its 'skin' was pale and polished, its hair was brushed through and neat, the dress and shoes it had on looked new, and had all that not been so, Lavi would've gone with it being yet another antique here. But it wasn't so. "It's a doll, Yu."

Kanda quirked a brow in confusion then grunted. "And what's some stupid old doll got to do with this 'good idea' of yours?" Walking to Lavi's side, he bent down and picked up the toy, staring at it with little interest. It was just like Kanda not to notice the importance of that thing.

"Yu, look more carefully at it. Look at the condition." Kanda did so and then gave his comrade a look that said, 'And?' Lavi sighed. "There's no way, with how dusty, moldy and gross it is in here, that a doll like that, laying on the floor of all places, is going to be clean and neat-looking. Well over half the draperies and such in this place have at least a few moth-holes, and everything in here has some dirt and dust on it."

Seeming to finally _get_ what Lavi was _getting_ at, Kanda stared at the doll once more, then tossed it into the lap of the man opposite of himself before crossing his arms again. "So what are you trying to say?" he asked, staring down at the other. "That there's a little kid in here who lost her dollie or something?"

"What I'm saying," Lavi began, examining the doll himself better for the first time, "is that the owner of this doll is in this place, child or not, and could possibly be the one you saw running away."

Kanda's face looked a bit puzzled, but overall he understood what Lavi was getting at, he just couldn't put a finger on what that had to do with Lavi's 'good idea.' Shifting a bit, the Asian leaned against a wall across from the other and perched his lips up in an impatient manner. "I understand, but you still haven't told me this idea of yours and I'm becoming aggravated with your lack of sharing." That was the very first time Lavi heard Kanda be annoyed that the redhead _wasn't_ talking much.

Smiling cheekily, Lavi waved the doll up in the air, finally revealing what he'd been plotting. "If it's true this thing belongs to whoever you were chasing, don't you think it's possible to lure them back out with it?" Tossing the toy up into the air then catching it, Lavi's grin only grew wider when Kanda muttered to himself and looked away.

"Fine, you're right." Huffing, Kanda seemed to regret admitting that because the moment he did, Lavi threw the toy at him and he had to raise an arm to catch it. In other words, it seemed he was going to be the one in charge of luring the owner of the doll out, and that alone annoyed him. Growling, the older of the two moved off the wall and glared. "But don't you ever try to think of ways that _don't_ involve playing around?"

"Nope, never do," Lavi replied playfully. The childish expression on his face wasn't fading, because after all, Kanda really was, for the millionth time, fun to mess around with. "Anyway, think you can handle it? Or should I do it?" As if trying to make the other feel bad, Lavi emphasized his leg injury by reaching down to brush a hand over the wound, making a pained face. This was, of course, to simply get out of being the lure.

Kanda rolled his eyes at the act. "Idiot, you don't need to fake it as being gruesome pain currently while you're sitting, I'll do it, I don't care." Even though the Asian had said this, and his expression was harsh, there was a hint of worry on it as if he were doubting he was right and that Lavi really was genuinely in a lot of pain even while sitting and not putting any pressure on his ankle. The surprise was clear in the redhead's only visible eye, but Lavi didn't comment on it, in fear of starting a useless fight.

Sitting back up, Lavi uncomfortably glanced away to try to keep his mind off of what he'd just noticed, because if he didn't, he'd certainly end up saying something which would tick Kanda off beyond reason. Luck be on his side, something caught his eye just then. "Eh?" Even in the darkness of the mansion, he could've sworn he'd gotten sight of a familiar face staring over at them then ducking behind a wall as soon as Lavi looked.

Kanda shifted and gave Lavi an inquiring stare as if asking what was wrong, but before he gave the other a chance to answer, Kanda practically pressed his hand to the hilt of his sword at the speed of light. "The hell was that-? Ugh! _Shit_!" Cursing beneath his breath, the older of the two removed his hand from the weapon and shook his wrist a tad, a bit of pain spreading across his facial features - but only a bit. Hell would freeze over before Kanda showed much weakness to anyone, including Lavi.

"Be careful with that!" Lavi warned, scolding his comrade. "What are you thinking? Are you _trying_ to break your wrist? It's already sprained!" Glaring at the Asian, Lavi meant to get up and see if he'd done anything worse to the wound of his wrist, but instead the redhead's expression softened to just concern and he shook his head. "You know what? I forget you're a grown man too. I guess you can handle it yourself, sorry."

Kanda first gave Lavi a hard stare when he heard those words, but he didn't bother responding to them and instead rubbed his wrist a little, looking around in the darkness for the shadow they'd previously seen. With all that had been going on, it seemed both of them were trying to be careful with their words and actions now.

In fact, all it took was a crashing sound to get both of their attentions in a heartbeat and Kanda told Lavi to stay put as he raced off into the dark halls. Well, this was perfect. _Just perfect_, Lavi thought, heaving a sigh. Here he was, fairly useless from his leg injury, now left alone so he wouldn't get in the way more. Wonderful method to feel like a burden.

Staring blankly at the dark hall Kanda had run off down and into, Lavi couldn't bring himself to _not _worry. Yes, while it was true Kanda could hold his own and that he was also a grown man, he was reckless, brash and crude, and that tended to get him into trouble at times, particularly with Noah and akuma. _Pretty boy with a jackass and aggressive nature or not, he's still human._ Lavi sighed for the millionth time, tapping his unharmed leg's foot impatiently. _At least, I think he's human… What do I do if he gets into trouble and I'm sitting here like a useless lump, especially since I'm the reason he's been so distracted?_

Hastily, Lavi decided he wouldn't let anything happen to his Asian comrade. Snatching his hammer from its holder, he flipped it up into his hand by its head then extended it enough so he could use it to hold himself up without putting too much pressure on his right ankle. Perhaps his idea from before hadn't been such a bad one after all, using his hammer as a cane proved to be far more comfortable than anything else he could think of.

Despite how this was disobeying what Kanda had told him, Lavi realized thoroughly he didn't want to comply with that order to begin with. This was a mission and they all had to work together, whether the impudent and proud Yu Kanda liked it or not. And as of recently, it started to seem like Kanda hadn't minded working with others as much as he used to, but this whole trip was beginning to make Lavi rethink his assumption.

As he limped down the hall, Lavi began wishing more and more that he had some sort of light, like a candle or match, because it sure as hell got darker in the mansion. With the sun setting early in the winter, the entire building was shrouded by darkness so much sooner than it would've any other time of the year, and that made the mission much harder.

While thinking, a certain thought crossed Lavi's mind and he froze in place, staring at his feet in the dark. Why hadn't he run into Allen and/or the finder yet? Surely even with how large the mansion was, they'd at least run into the two once since they were searching around as well, right? Bewildered and slightly stunned, Lavi tried to focus his worry on finding Kanda again. To his knowledge, Allen wasn't injured, but Kanda was. Even if both could hold their own, it still worried him as their friend naturally.

It was the sound of a girly gasp and scream that startled Lavi out of his thoughts and he began feeling horribly nostalgic. The dream… it was as if it really _was_ coming true! The only difference in this case was that Lavi couldn't exactly run with the way his ankle was, but regardless…

Limping further through the dark, the redhead tried his best to focus and stop worrying whether or not this was the very dream that'd caused all the misery between Kanda and him coming true. Surely if he kept bothering himself with that, he'd end up lost in this place. He didn't need an angry Kanda scolding him about that, now did he? Still, despite everything, that bother didn't go away.

_Worry wart, _he thought, sighing. _If I don't stop, I'm going to end up- _His mental words were interrupted when he tripped over something in the dark and ended up tumbling forward into something… warm. Releasing a small chuckle, slightly relieved, Lavi finally spoke up. "Y-Yu… thank God. I thought I'd gotten lost or something…" Rather than hearing his comrade's deep voice though, Lavi got a feminine giggle in response. "Eh…?"

"You're so adorable, La," a voice murmured cutely, still laughing. "Did you lose your pretty male friend? Are you afraid of the dark without him by your side to back you up?" The body he'd fallen against moved suddenly and the sound of heels tapped against the ground as it apparently walked away. "You shouldn't rely on him, you know. He's a really mean guy! You need someone who'll support you genuinely and lovingly as to heal your broken and confused heart."

Blinking a few times fast in bewilderment, Lavi glanced up, leaning now on his knees from having tripped previously. "Who in the world? What are you talking about and why do I recognize your voice?" Peeking up ahead into the pitch blackness, a gasp moved past his lips and his only visible emerald hue widened. "You're…"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" As if relieving all his worries that instant, Kanda's voice echoed from behind him and Lavi looked back for a brief moment in time to catch his Asian comrade moving up beside him.

"Yu," Lavi whispered, a grateful sigh slipping past his lips. "Boy am I glad to see you. You just left me alone back there and I felt kind of helpless, so I wanted to find you, is all. Sorry."

Grumbling, Kanda shook his head. "I wasn't talking about you, idiot, and despite how I was a little curious as to why you were over here, I meant _her_." Raising Mugen, Kanda used the sword to point at the female standing across from them, gently lit up by some dim light coming in through a broken window.

The woman giggled and twirled her whole body around in a circle, a broom in one hand. A beautiful dress of white and black frills framed her body, an apron on her front with a big bow tying it in the back. A headdress with equally pretty frills was tied over the top of her head, some of her long orangey brown hair spilling over the front of it in gorgeous spiral curls down to under her ribs. Her skin, a milky peach, glowed brilliantly in the small bits of light and her blue eyes twinkled with an innocent demeanor.

"You're the maid from the inn," Lavi gasped out softly, pushing himself to his feet with his hammer. Was she the one who owned the notebook they'd lost earlier? "But what in the world are you doing here? Did you follow us?"

Simply smiling, the woman curtsied then bowed her head a little, shaking it. "I didn't follow you here, silly, I came here because I used to play here when I was little. There was something of mine I came back to get." Holding out her hand to them as if expecting them to give something to her, her smile faded. "Now give it back."

Both Kanda and Lavi exchanged glances then stared at the maid firmly. They truly thought right now that she'd been the one to take the journal, but… could it be someone else did and she thought the two exorcists ended up with it? And was the journal even what she was really looking for or…?

"Oh, you mean this doll?" Holding up the toy, Lavi grinned. "Because this is all we ended up carrying around from inside this actual place." When his response caused the maid to look surprised, as if she hadn't expected them to have only kept a toy or as if she recognized the doll, Lavi lowered it. Such a reaction could mean so many things, but Lavi was certain it was one of those two. Why? Perhaps a 'gut feeling'?

Unfortunately, a gut feeling wasn't the best thing to go on in situations like this, because their inaccuracy at times and the fact that it meant no solid evidence was there could lead to ruin. Quite literally. And of course, as Lavi expected, Kanda was aware of this, and with the type of impatient person he was, there was no way he was going to just stand there.

"Now answer the goddamn question as to why you're here! You said you wouldn't come here as long as I kept quiet, you lying wench!" With Mugen firmly pointed at the woman, Kanda looked pretty determined not to let her go until she'd answered him. Apparently he too thought - or knew - she was lying.

Tilting her head, the maid gave him a soft smile, the shock from before having disappeared off her features completely. "Oh, but I told you why I'm here…" Her smile melted into a dark smirk. "And now that I know my little one is here, I must be off to find her. You be a dear and watch over La for me more, hmm?" Pressing the fingers of her free hand to her lips, she blew a kiss, then waved and faded into the darkness, her voice echoing around as she disappeared. "You've already almost done a bang-up job, you just haven't exactly gotten to the 'bang' part yet!"

A creepy laughter flew amongst the walls after that, and Kanda instantly bolted in pursuit of her, telling Lavi to stay put this time. Like hell Lavi was going to listen! "Yu, wait! What the hell did she mean?" Chasing after Kanda as best as he could while trying not to put too much pressure on his wounded joint, Lavi huffed in aggravation. Instead of a response, he got nothing.

"Yu, answer me, you bastard!" Lavi shouted louder, stopping for a moment just long enough to extend his hammer and snatch the other man. As he dragged a struggling and pissed Kanda back, the redhead couldn't help but feel angry himself. What the heck had Kanda been hiding all this time from him? "Now you're going to answer me!"

"Why the hell should I? You just let that bitch get away!" Kanda sounded furious, as if the entire mission had just been blown simply because of that or something. This raised suspicion in Lavi.

"Bitch? Why is she a bitch?" he asked, a serious expression having made its way onto his features. "What exactly is it you're not telling me? What is the meaning behind 'You said you wouldn't come here as long as I kept quiet,' huh?"

In just a second, Kanda's expression changed and instead of looking mad he looked guilty. Or maybe it was more of embarrassment, either way Lavi saw something of the sorts there. "Che… Mind your own business. It doesn't have anything to do with you anyway." Not exactly the answer Lavi wanted.

"Like hell it doesn't!" Lavi snapped, grabbing the other's uninjured wrist roughly. "She asked you to watch over me more! Is this why you've been acting so weird?" Kanda flinched and Lavi swore he could see a small flush creeping onto his features. Confused, the bookman couldn't help asking softly, "Yu? What's wrong suddenly?"

Hesitating, Kanda shook his head slowly and grit his teeth, unable to answer at first. Then, tugging his wrist from Lavi's grip, he turned and stared him directly in the eye. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me." Twisting so he was no longer looking at his comrade, Kanda started walking off through the hall the maid had run down, seeming incapable of continuing their conversation at that point.

Now this was where Lavi stood gaping in a puzzled manner, having no idea what the heck just happened there. Instead of confusing himself further with unnecessary thoughts though, he pressed his hammer down for support and limped down the hall after his Japanese comrade. All this time Lavi had been determined to find an answer as to why he was feeling so oddly about Kanda, and now that oddity had only increased, much to his dismay.

"Yu, please don't do this again, you know I hate it," Lavi called out, feeling like their situation was becoming more and more hopeless for finding a solution. And no, his feeling wasn't directed at the mission. This seemingly never-ending game of hide-and-go-seek they were playing with each other's emotions wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world to say the least, and Lavi was certain if it didn't stop pretty quickly he'd go crazy.

Maybe there was some hope, actually. "Do what? What am I doing that I know you hate?" Those words brushed over his ears in a harsh manner, and Lavi caught sight of the other once more in the shadows. "Being myself?" Kanda asked, twisting around with the fingers of one of his hands wrapped tightly around Mugen's hilt still.

Huffing, Lavi put a hand on one hip. "You think I hate you for being yourself? As much of a jerk as you can be, you're Yu Kanda, and Yu is Yu, I don't hate that." Perhaps Lavi was becoming more and more desperate to get over these feelings, so he continued, trying to get Kanda to keep talking with him. "What I hate is when you start to clarify my confusion, then add to it and walk away as if nothing happened."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Quirking a brow, the Asian put his full attention on Lavi now, apparently having given up on looking for the maid again for the time being.

"What you were saying before to that maid… When I asked you what was wrong suddenly, you said to me, 'If I told you, you wouldn't believe me.' What did you mean?" Before Kanda could argue, Lavi added, "Oh, and don't try to deny those words came from your mouth, I have a perfect memory when need be, remember?"

'Che'ing, Kanda shook his head. Aggravation was plastered all over his features - and maybe a bit of nervousness too, Lavi realized - as he tried to come up with what to say to the younger man. Everyone at the entire Order knew Yu Kanda not to be the type who was good with words, he much rather preferred talking with his blade or fists, so it wasn't like Lavi was expecting some amazing, well-thought-out response or anything.

As if realizing this, Kanda finally sighed in annoyance and tapped the dull side of his sword against his own shoulder lightly. "Right now we should be focusing on this mission." Lavi was about to object, but this time it was Kanda to stop _him_ in his tracks. "But if there comes a time during this where we're unable to continue for a while… then we'll talk. The beansprout can probably hold his own just fine, so…" Looking away as if regretting promising they'd talk at some point, Kanda groaned and moved his sword down.

Something, unsure to him what exactly, lit up in Lavi's only visible eye, as if a whole new light had just been turned on and flashing brightly, offering an opportunity to finally solve the foreign heartache shared between the two men. Lavi'd had a million crushes before, but not once had he felt like this toward another person. A bookman wasn't allowed to have such feelings, and as much as it hurt to think about it, the sooner he got over these feelings, the better.

The two stayed quiet for a while after that, simply quietly searching the house as they'd done before. This time though, was different. This time Lavi had at least a little reassurance that there was the possibility of the two getting to talk man to man and not end up fighting stupidly like little boys. Yes, in a situation like this, even the smallest insurances were highly valued.

Walking by a door, a wave of tiredness suddenly hit him, knocking him slightly out of his senses, and Lavi leaned a hand against that very door for support. Dizziness distracted and distorted him from his delicate, defrosting thoughts, and he couldn't help but notice just how cold that wooden panel felt. "Oh, whoa. What the…?"

It was then he realized that for a door to be so cold when the others in the house didn't feel this way, something had to be up. Whether it be because this was a door leading to the outside, a window was broken in there, or some other reason, this definitely caught Lavi's attention. "Yu!" he shouted into the dark. "Yu, come have a look over here. This door's freezing." Reaching for the knob, Lavi twisted it and pushed the door open, peering past the wooden frame.

By now Kanda had made his way back to his comrade and was staring in closely behind Lavi, bracing himself with a hand on the doorframe. "You're sure this isn't cold because of a broken window or something?" Kanda asked, his eyes focusing on the interior of the room. And quite a strange yet wonderful room this was.

The maroon painted walls were lined with glass cabinets that made the room appear compact and small, glass figures and other types of antiques inside of them. Dolls, similar to the one they'd found, lined shelves higher up on the walls, shelves that hung just below where the walls met the ends of the angled ceiling, trailing all the way around the entire room. A bed was in one corner, a pretty translucent curtain hanging over it from the ceiling and fancy décor framing it in brilliance.

Stepping inside, Lavi glanced up, noticing just how tall the ceiling was - at least 10-feet at its highest point - and a small chandelier hung from it right in the middle, candles on it lit up. The light from the chandelier caused there to be a romantic glow about the room, mixed with two small lamps, one on each nightstand on either side of the bed. The dim brightness caused all the glass in the room to twinkle, adding to the dreamy glow and making it all the more lovely.

The ceiling was a little odd, as it went up to the ten-feet point in two angles then met in the center to form a small in-width flat area which the chandelier hung from. It kind of reminded Lavi of an attic with the way it looked, yet this was part of a basement, and the room itself was probably added onto the house some years after it was first built.

"Well, if you ask me," Lavi started, peeking into one of the cabinets, "I'd say someone has been living in this room for quite some time. Nothing is very dusty and just look at all these candles, heck, someone was probably just here before we came to this part of the house."

Kanda walked in slowly behind Lavi, looking around with a vexed look in his eyes, as if worried he was going to end up causing the whole room to go crashing down simply from stepping inside. Such places definitely didn't suit Kanda, and he wasn't used to areas in which he had to be 'gentle.' To Lavi, it was actually pretty funny watching him walk in with that look on his face.

Peering into one of the glass cabinets himself, Kanda made a slight grumbling noise and crossed his arms. "So… what? Now we have to look through this entire room? I'm not going to bother." Muttering to himself, he leaned against a more sturdy all-wood piece of furniture.

"What's wrong? Afraid you'll break anything if you do?" Lavi asked with a teasing smirk. In turn, Kanda shot a glare at him and Lavi only shrugged. "Well, if it's you, what else am I supposed to say? Mr. 'Demon-of-the-Order' himself."

"Be quiet, you're as noisy as usual." Tapping a foot impatiently, Kanda glanced off to the side - and quite oddly, his expression didn't seem so… well, angry. Instead, he seemed a bit nervous, as if being in this very room was the cause of that emotion. Lavi couldn't quite put a finger on why.

Blinking a few times fast, he paused by a cabinet with all music boxes inside and gave his comrade an inquiring stare, red locks of hair hanging over his nose hiding his eye from the angle he was standing in. If Lavi were to ask what was wrong, wouldn't he just get the usual annoyed response? Or would it end up starting another of their failed 'feeling' conversations? Screw it, he'd try anyway. "Yu-" WHAM!

Jumping in place, the redhead was interrupted before even being able to truly begin when the door to the room slammed shut, causing both of them to focus their eyes on the wooden panel. 'What the hell?' glances were exchanged for a moment before both ran to the door, Kanda trying to open the thing. "It's _locked_," he growled, punching the door out of frustration after a bunch of tries.

"Shit, Yu, don't do that," Lavi said when he noticed the entire room shake from Kanda's hit to the door. If they were to be too rough, the entire mansion could cave in. From their investigations thus far, the porch had fallen in when they first were entering, and even the floor earlier had fallen through leading them to here, so crashing and banging around in a room full of antiques, well, that just wasn't too smart of a thing to do.

Exasperated, Kanda backed away from the door and simply glared at it as if whoever had been on the other side would melt even with the movable piece of wood in the way. And maybe they would - Kanda's glares could even scare people who outwardly looked more demonic than him, if that were possible. "Someone locked us in, what the hell are we supposed to do now?"

"If we smash our way out, the entire house will cave in probably." Staring at Kanda, Lavi sighed in defeat.

"Yeah, I know." Seeming further aggravated by that reminder, Kanda unsheathed Mugen and brought it up to the door. "That's the most annoying part," he added, pulling it back as if he were about to thrust it through the door.

"Yu!" Lavi gasped, wide-eyed. "Don't do that either!" Turning to look at him, Kanda grunted in a 'Why not?' manner, only to have Lavi grab his wrist to hold him back. "If by chance someone is on the other side, you could kill them. Also, one false move and such a fragile room as this will definitely break into a million pieces and kill us. Please think carefully," Lavi begged, loosening his grip a little as Kanda seemed to start to lower his Innocence.

Sheathing the sword after a few more seconds, Kanda turned all the way to face Lavi completely and folded his arms over his chest again, leaning his back lightly against the door. He was staring at the bookman-in-training as if he were expecting him to come up with some amazing plan as to how to get them out without the risk of the room caving in on them. "Okay… What now, genius?"

Surprised, Lavi shook his head. "I… I don't know. I'm sorry." Despite how he told himself it wasn't his fault, he was overcome with a feeling of guilt and was distracted for a good while. Maybe he should at least let Kanda try to get the door open, then he probably wouldn't feel so… no, if he had, and the house fell in, he would feel _worse_.

"Lavi… Lavi! Oi, usa-gaki!" Eye widening, Lavi blinked over at Kanda, finally snapped out of his momentary daze. "What's wrong with you? Anyway, I said at least let me try to get it open. We're not going to just sit around here and pray somebody will get us out."

"But Yu," Lavi argued, "what if the house-?"

"Why should it matter? If I get hurt, I get hurt. A mission is a mission and should be put first. You know that." The sting of those words burned especially deep in Lavi's chest and he nodded slowly. Kanda was right, but at the same time, Lavi felt deep down that he was wrong. Why? "Good. Now that I know you agree with me, I can try this-"

"NO! God, Yu, what if you _die_?" Lavi's heart ached when he shouted those words. What if Kanda did die from this? Lavi would never forgive himself if he knew he was the reason for one of his friends' deaths, even with putting these 'crush' feelings aside.

Kanda glanced at Lavi with a look that had confusion, annoyance and a thousand other things all in one. "Why do you…?" He was about to ask why Lavi cared more than likely, but something made him pause and go quiet, instead looking away. Whatever it was, the redhead would use that to his advantage here.

"Why do I care? Gee, I don't know," Lavi ground out in a raised voice sarcastically. "Maybe we're comrades and we're both going through some emotional trauma and thus I feel more attached to you. Or maybe I'm fucking crazy in the head for thinking you'd ever even understand what I'm going through… I don't know. Perhaps I'm just coo-coo. What do you think, Yu-chan?"

Rather than answering him properly though, Kanda kept turned away and 'tch'd. "What are you, manic-depressive or something? Get over yourself."

"Who's the bipolar one, I wonder?" Lavi retorted angrily. But with the fear of them getting into another pointless argument freshly popping up in his mind due to the tone of each of their voices, he ended it there and sighed. He was already sick of fighting with Kanda over nothing. Or was this all really nothing? Weren't these feelings more _important_ than nothing?

Apparently Lavi had won in their little beginning fight and didn't need to say anymore, because Kanda withdrew his sword and stuffed it back into his sheath, a grumble slipping past his lips. Had… had he actually listened to Lavi? As if catching the 'Are you sick?' vibes, Kanda moved away from the door and grabbed his comrade by the scarf.

Squeaking out a gasp, Lavi stared at him in surprise. For a long moment, the two simply stared at one another directly in the eyes, as if the simple motion was enough to exchange words they could've otherwise spoken. Kanda's gaze was as piercing as always, and Lavi felt like he was being seen through, like Kanda knew _exactly_ how he was feeling just by looking into that bright green hue of his.

After another few seconds passed by, Lavi couldn't take it anymore and cleared his throat. The grip Kanda had on him wasn't threateningly tight, but it was enough to keep him in place. "What is it?" he forced out, feeling his throat growing dry. It was suddenly becoming harder and harder to speak, words slipping from his mind.

"I don't know, you seem strange again," Kanda said slowly, his bangs shadowing his eyes and giving off a darker look to his expression. "Stranger than usual," he amended after a bit. "I want to get out of here, but since you seem so concerned that you'll have a heart attack if I do anything rash, I'll let it go this once." Releasing his hold on Lavi, Kanda leaned his back against the door just as he had before suggesting to try to open it.

Riddled with shock and confusion, the redhead simply watched his comrade in silence. Had he really said that? "You… mean that? You mean you'll really not try to bust your way out of here?" Lavi grew more and more confused by the second. Bewilderment.

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I'm not lying just so you don't worry. I'm not kind like that." Hands by his sides, Kanda did actually glance back at Lavi. "But what do you suggest we do? It's stupid to stand around hoping someone will help us."

That was true. Kanda was totally right. If they stood around here and simply did nothing hoping Allen or the finder would come to help them out of there, that would be a total waste of time. It wasn't like it was their only option, but if one was given the reminder that if they tried to bust their way out the house might fall in, it pretty much was. Oh, and that wasn't even the best part about this.

Just when Lavi was going to give up on trying to make these feelings happen, _this_ happens. He was alone with Kanda in a compact room, and if he recalled right, Kanda was horribly claustrophobic, so that didn't really help the urge to bust out of here before something happened that both of them would regret forever. Wait, just what was Lavi thinking?

Figuring the best way to distract himself from such thoughts would be to talk about something else, he attempted to start a conversation with Kanda. "Um, Yu," he began, scratching the back of his neck, a bit nervous. "It got quiet…"

"You were the one not replying to what I'd asked you, you know, so it's your fault." The interjection surprised Lavi, and he actually blinked a few times fast before recalling Kanda was indeed the last one to say something. "Stupid rabbit," the other muttered, dark eyes seeming to try their best to avoid direct contact with his comrade's lighter one.

"Well, I guess…" Walking over to the bed, Lavi said while taking a seat, "we talk." The two words sent a spear flying through Kanda who angrily glanced at the younger now smiling over at him. "What? What else do you suggest we do? You're the one who thinks it's stupid to simply stand around and hope someone will find us."

"I was _hoping_ you would suggest something smarter than that," Kanda replied, grumbling to himself. "No matter, I don't know what the hell we'd talk about anyway." Yu wasn't the type to enjoy long conversations or normal old conversations with people, that's what made this all the more difficult.

"You could always tell me what that was about with the maid," Lavi answered sharply, having the curiosity itching at the back of his mind far too long. Certainly that wouldn't be extremely hard for Kanda to talk about, right? "You said we'd talk when we got the chance and now we have the chance."

Kanda froze and seemed to stiffen up a bit as if the suggestion drove him into a corner. "Not now…" he said softly. "Not yet. It's that… it's just…" Lavi'd never seen Kanda stutter this way or even look as nervous as he did. It was a little scary. And because of that, he wasn't going to push it on him. "Isn't there anything else you can think of?" Kanda asked abruptly, staring firmly at Lavi.

"It's fine." With a sigh, Lavi waved a hand. "You don't have to talk about it right now then, but I do expect to hear it out of you eventually while we're in here, so… stop looking so nervous, okay?" Those words made the other a little angry, but Kanda only grumbled and looked away, which made Lavi smile a little. At least he hadn't snapped at him.

Lavi stared straight at his comrade a moment, then glanced at his own lap, then finally back at Kanda again. It was already awkward enough between the two, what else could they talk about other than their current screwed up feelings for one another or the meaning behind what the maid had said? "We could…" Pausing, he bit his lip. "…talk about… our pasts?" Not the best suggestion in the world, but hell, they needed _something_ to use to exchange words or Lavi was going to go crazy having to wait around here in silence, distorted thoughts drowning his brain in an emotional agony.

Kanda's eyes seemed to widen slightly and he gave Lavi a disbelieving look. "You're not serious, are you?" he asked in a flat, dry tone. Apparently that was something he _definitely_ didn't want to discuss with another person, particularly someone like Lavi who had only known the man for barely three whole years.

A frown spread across the redhead's lips at that reaction though. "I am. What's so bad about it? It's just something to take up the time, and y'know we never even talk about ourselves to each other very much. Don't friends do that sort of thing?" Didn't they?

"Che, what the hell?" the Asian mumbled. "How would I know? Besides, you're not my friend. We're work associates at most." What a plain, dull way of putting their relationship. 'Work associates.' How in the world was Lavi supposed to simply accept that after all they'd been through and especially after all that had been happening _lately_? Either way, he didn't say a word about it.

Crossing his legs and pressing his hands into the bed behind him while leaning back, Lavi eyed the ceiling a moment, thoughts scrambling. "I guess I'll go first since you're being your sourpuss self," he said in a slightly lonely-sounding tone of voice, which certainly seemed to catch Kanda's attention. "You know I'm a bookman, so you know I don't make many connections myself." Digging his fingers into the bed, he sighed.

"And?" The word made Lavi take his vision from focusing on the ceiling to Kanda instead. "Well, don't stop now or I'll consider you someone who doesn't finish what they start and then I'll get more annoyed with you." Lavi couldn't help a chuckle.

"Alright." Tugging the new headband he liked to wear down for the heck of it, the redhead focused on events that happened in the past before he was 'Lavi.' If anything stung the usually happy and open man, it was many of those hard memories that scarred the deepest and darkest parts of the thing called his 'heart.' Gently touching the eye patch over his concealed orb, he started talking again. "I… wanted to know the greatest and most valued secrets of the world. It was a dream that drove me to become the old man's apprentice, you see."

Making sure he still had Kanda's full attention first before continuing, he glanced nostalgically at nothing in particular. "I thought, 'If I can do this, if I can hold such valuable things in my mind, then that'll make my life worth something.' It's really quite foolish and childish thinking. But you know, that's how I carried on through childhood. The loneliness of not forming bonds with others… I kept telling myself I was better off without bonds since Gramps always said attachment was a weakness to a bookman." He sighed after those words and shifted just a tad.

"If you have value, you feel better about yourself, right? Right. It truly was a hard thing to get used to though, the path Gramps showed me to live. While it indeed took a lot of getting used to, I eventually became somewhat of an amazing actor along the way. And that actor could always put on a smile when needed, or a sad face when needed, or a concerned face when needed. He could do any expression perfectly - even if deep down he didn't really _feel _anything. Amazing, hmm?" Eyeing one of the antique dolls, something not quite right flashed in Lavi's emerald hue. "You could say I became a sort of… doll maybe. Because dolls feel nothing and can be used to their fullest potential without worry of emotions."

From across the room, Kanda's expression was full of a thousand different things that Lavi couldn't quite point out all at once. He looked a bit mad, perhaps just a tiny bit sad, even nostalgic. It was like just by speaking of how Lavi lived his life, it was triggering some memories from Kanda's own to the brunet's head. That alone made Lavi strive to continue, hoping he'd at least get _something_ out of Kanda about him.

"That was how I lived my life day-to-day, and that was who I became. A nameless person traveling from war to war to record mankind's pathetic history. I like history, don't mistake me, but truly, through my short life, I've seen how ridiculous and hopeless the human race really is. That's why I…" With a pause, Lavi smiled. "That's why I gave up on humanity and considered it a lost cause. That's why I became a heartless fiend. That's why I forgot the pain of loneliness and the feeling itself. And, most importantly, _that's_ why I forgot how to _feel_. I became a hollow shell, just a recorder…"

"A hollow shell?" Kanda gave Lavi a look matching the question he'd just asked, and the other simply nodded slowly. "Humph. I never realized truly how hard it was to be a bookman." That comment alone was enough to cause Lavi's eye to widen and Kanda simply shook his head. "Even someone like me can't abandon his emotions and become that way. I usually don't give a damn, but… somehow I pity you."

Giving a soft chuckle, Lavi smiled once more. "Oh? Well, you seem to share something in common with me though. You hide your true feelings the majority of the time and mask everything in anger. Is that your way of protecting yourself?" Casting a glance to Kanda as he said this, Lavi awaited the probably infuriated answer.

To his surprise, he didn't get a very mad one, rather, a confusing one which threw Lavi's mind off a curb completely - which was saying a lot about the remark. "The flower…" Kanda's eyes narrowed as he stared at seemingly nothing. "I still see it, and it only multiplied, you stupid old man…"

"Yu?" Flinching, the other man was knocked out of whatever temporary daze he'd gone into and put his attention back on Lavi. Laughing a little, the redhead quirked a brow. "Now just what, I wonder, was that was all about?"

Shaking his head, Kanda ended up replying in a low tone after a few more seconds of quiet. "It's nothing, at least, not anything important. I…" As if angry at himself for having said what he had before aloud, he growled softly and pushed himself away from the door, making his way over to Lavi, but stopping before he even got close. "I almost ended up talking about my crappy thing you call a past thanks to your encouragement. Bastard."

That comment was enough to send Lavi into a whirlwind of surprise and he could only stare at Kanda in awe. Was the Asian really about to talk about his past with Lavi? Amazed enough to also be bewildered, a single green eye flashed with something not quite comprehensible as only one feeling, and Lavi got up from the bed to go to his comrade, using his hammer to support himself.

Kanda did not move, but he _was_ staring at the redhead, and his eyes had such a look in them that Lavi couldn't understand at all what he was thinking. Either way, Lavi didn't stop until he was only a couple feet away from the other man, and, extending one of his long arms, he went to place his hand on the other's shoulder, but before he could, a horrible dizziness suddenly hit him like a ton of bricks.

Following the dizziness, there was a pain shooting through his temples and he had to instead use his hand to rub his head. "Ow, what the…?" Not only that, but his injured ankle began throbbing like crazy and distracted him from what he was going to say to Kanda, and he tripped forward. Ironically, of course, he landed right into that very person.

"What's wrong with you?" the Japanese asked, catching the other by the shoulders. He didn't sound concerned, rather angry, but Lavi knew well enough that Kanda was masking such an emotion as worry as to not look soft or like he'd broken his usual cold and dark reputation. "You're acting weird suddenly. You… you look sick. Hey, rabbit - _Lavi_!" Gasping, Kanda felt the man suddenly go limp in his arms completely and the sound of the steel Innocence Lavi used hit the floor with a loud thump.

Not knowing what to do in such a situation, Kanda stood there baffled for a good while, staring at the now unconscious exorcist in his arms. What the hell happened? Did Lavi's ankle do this? Was it infected or something? Looking around for some idea of what to do, Kanda's eyes settled on the nearby bed Lavi was previously sitting on. Probably the smartest thing to do right about now would be to lay him down over there until he woke back up.

Ignoring his own injury, Kanda twisted around to haul Lavi up onto his back. Despite Lavi's arguments earlier of how it wouldn't be good, it was the only way Kanda could think of that would put the least amount of pressure on both of their wounds. When he made it over to the bed, he tried his best to gently put Lavi down without troubles, but the pain from his wrist was horribly off-putting and he couldn't help grabbing it after he'd gotten Lavi down.

Cursing in his native language, the Japanese took a seat on the bed next to the sleeping Lavi and heaved a heavy sigh while rubbing his wound, a certain memory flashing through his mind as he did so. _Why did he kiss my wrist? Was it really because of some stupid children's book?_ The thought ran around Kanda's mind rabidly. Glancing behind himself at the other man, he growled then looked away. "Doesn't he know that only encourages me, goddamnit?"


	7. Music To My Ears

SS: I finally managed to get a chapter out before the one month mark! -pumps a fist in victory- This is because I actually typed up 90% of this chapter in one whole day… I was exhausted, but it was worth it. I just started chapter eight too, so wish me luck!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 7 Music To My Ears**

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Cold was something he'd gotten used to through his time as a bookman-in-training, but this cold was different. This cold was harsher and rougher than any cold he'd ever faced… the cold feeling of rejection. It nipped harshly at his already freezing heart, stinging to the point of absolute unbearable pains. Quite possibly, it was the worst kind of cold to ever exist.

But he hadn't been rejected, had he? Struggling to recall where he was and what happened, Lavi's green eye focused on the surroundings he could currently see. It was the room he'd been locked in with Kanda, but something was very different than what he remembered, something very important. Kanda was missing from his sight.

_Yu?_ Oddly, when he'd tried calling out his comrade's name, it came out in an echo and the sound didn't seem to come from his own mouth. Blinking in a confused manner, Lavi stood up and glanced around the room more. It seemed to be light out, but the windows were strange and revealed a blank canvas on the other side of their dusty glass panes.

_This is a dream,_ Lavi tried to say, but the words came out the same as the sound of his comrade's name had. _This has to be a dream. It's too surreal to be reality._ Confirming this thought was the white outside and fact that Kanda wasn't anywhere in sight, yet the door was still locked as it seemed. And wait, since when did this room even have windows, at least, any in sight with all the cabinets blocking the walls?

Before he could focus on sorting things out, the sound of a gentle music began playing and made Lavi shoot his attention toward a particular cabinet. It was big like all the others, but something was not the same, that is, there seemed to be a fold-out panel that laid flat when pulled down. Its strange design showed it was not only a cabinet, but a desk too, Lavi realized.

And before he knew it, he'd already made his way over to it and had pulled the particular part down to reveal a small storage section that had previously been hidden away by that very piece of wood. In that section there was a tiny box with inch dimensions of maybe six by four by three, a very delicate-looking box that had an intricate design on top, a rose design seemingly carved into the wood itself.

Intrigued, Lavi reached inside and snatched the wooden case, opening it up. As soon as he had, he realized exactly what this little box was. Music, beautiful and quiet, began to play as soon as the lid was lifted, and Lavi's only visible eye fell onto the gorgeous velvet coated inside when a little figure popped up and began spinning in a circle. The figure itself was of a kitten and an older cat standing across from each other, both of their noses touching affectionately. It was carved in such a way that anyone could see the amount of love put into the thing.

_How pretty,_ Lavi thought, breathless. He hadn't been the type to take notice of such things as a child, but the older he got the more he found himself interested in antiques and hand-made things. Maybe it had to do with the fact that little kids usually preferred toys over delicate adult things they'd break easily.

Either way, he set the box down and simply watched it a few moments. The song was kind of cute and somehow he recognized it. What song it was, however, he didn't remember. Watching until the little figure finally stopped spinning and the music stopped playing, he sighed softly and went to close the box. What kind of dream was this anyway? A music box. A creepy bright room. Blankness on the other side of the windows.

Lavi had once read a book on dreams and what they meant, and dreams such as this one could mean many things. He knew which meanings this one was probably targeting though. Confusion, helplessness, heartache. Confusion because of the blank canvas outside the windows, helplessness due to how Kanda wasn't here and there was no way out of the room, and most important of all, heartache due to the music box. Yeah, that was basically how he was feeling to a T.

Maybe the music box was also a sign of what he should do about his feelings. What, however, it was trying to tell him to do, he didn't know. As his hand hovered over the top, the sound of a strange cracking caught his attention. Turning around, he noticed a crack in one of the windows. What did it mean? Breaking free maybe?

Just as Lavi was about to close the box as he turned back around, his hand had fallen down enough to land inside of the box itself, his long fingers brushing over something prickly. _What the…?_ Clasping his fingers around whatever it was, he removed his hand from the box and stared at what was now in his palm. A pendant. A snowflake pendant. Staring at it, Lavi wondered what _this_ meant now.

Of course, he had no time to actually ponder it, for the strange cracking sound returned, and by the time he'd looked towards the windows again, every single one was freezing over in ice, each pane cracking little by little. _A snowflake pendant? Ice on the windows?_ Lavi's green eye widened a bit. _What the hell's going on? I've had weird dreams before, but this one for some reason feels real…_

_Excuse me, Mister Eyepatch, why is your hair the color of blood?_ Interrupting all of this was the small voice of a child, a female child it seemed. _Are you cursed? It sure is pretty. I like it._

Lavi twisted to look at the doorway, and there stood a little girl garbed in a dirty old dress down to her knees with ripped tights underneath and scuffed up shoes. She had long brown hair down to about her knees as well and short bangs like Kanda's, except her hair was a lot more messy. A blue flower was tucked into her hair and she held a doll in one hand. _Mister Eyepatch, can I have my pendant back please? It's very special to me. I keep it in my special song box with the kitties too._

_Oh? This is yours?_ Lavi asked, glancing at the piece of jewelry in his hand. _And the box too?_ The girl nodded and smiled. As much as Lavi hated being called 'Eyepatch,' he wasn't going to bother harassing a child for calling him it, particularly one in his dreams of all places. Snatching the music box off where he'd placed it, he walked over to the girl and stopped a few feet away. _It's weird. I don't know why such a cute little lady showed up in this wacky dream of mine. _Opening the box and placing the pendant back inside, he looked down.

Reaching up, the girl moved her hands to the music box, but not only could she not reach, but the doll held tightly in her left hand wouldn't come loose from her fingers. She was like a lot of kids, protective of her favorite toys, it seemed. _You know, if you want this, you'll have to put your doll down or you might drop it._

Fear seemed to suddenly swell up in the girl's eyes and she shook her head, backing away from him and clinging tighter to the toy with both arms. _No!_ she shouted, tears building up in her eyes, surprising Lavi. Lavi couldn't handle girls crying, he always felt so guilty, be they children or adults. _No, no, no! You stole her before, I don't want you to steal her again! You and that scary man with the long, long hair… I don't want you to take her! I don't want anyone taking anything I love from me!_ Backing into the door, she finally stopped talking and sniffled a bit.

_What did you say?_ Lavi's eye grew wide with confusion. Wait just a minute, that doll was… Getting a better look at it, he blinked a few times fast in shock. That was the very doll he and Kanda had found in the house before running into the maid. This child in his dream was the owner?

_Don't worry, I won't take her,_ Lavi assured the girl, a little mad at himself for having made her cry, even if this was only a dream. _I just want to give you back your music box, is all. Here._ Approaching her slowly, he bent down and extended his arms to hand it back. Unfortunately, the child wasn't so trusting.

She screamed at him and began crying more, causing the music box to fling open and the pendant inside to glow. If he didn't know he was dreaming, he'd swear reality was more screwed up than he thought. But hold on, the way the pendant was glowing, it looked just like Innocence! Also, it was reacting to the girl's emotions, just as Lenalee's, Allen's, even Miranda's, had reacted to their own. Could it be that the pendant was Innocence?

If so, Lavi would have to give the room he and Kanda were trapped in a better look. When everything went white and the whole room felt like artic weather, he pushed himself to awaken. Dreams like this weren't good for anyone's composure, not even the bookman who'd been used to such things.

xoxoxox

Gasping, Lavi opened his eye, panting softly as if he'd had the worst nightmare ever. Well, it wasn't so bad actually, it was just freaky. Regardless, he calmed his beating heart and his eye slowly drifted back shut. This was reality, right? The dream had ended, right? Kanda was here, _right_? Forcing his eye open again, he found he couldn't move. And no, it wasn't anything physical holding him back either.

That very man was laying beside him, facing him, eyes closed, hair messily drooped over his face, breathing calmly. He was sleeping, Lavi realized, breathless. Since when had he fallen asleep by Kanda's side? Since when would Kanda ever sleep by anyone's side like this? Unable to help the heat from building in his face, Lavi swallowed hard, trying to think of some logic to this. When none came to mind, he felt like dying right there on the spot.

His heart was swooning, he couldn't help himself from watching the other sleep. This all in itself was a rare sight, and it distracted Lavi enough to forget the dream he'd had for the moment. Up close, Kanda was all the more handsome, particularly with a tranquil expression rather than angry. Clearly, this close it was easy to see Kanda was a man too, however, this didn't discourage Lavi who used to only find himself attracted to women.

At the moment, he felt like his heart was going to explode and he began getting familiar thoughts of the desire to feel what it felt like to kiss those other lips. Biting his tongue, he held his curiosity back forcefully. If Kanda were to wake up and find Lavi trying to kiss him, who knows what would happen?

Damning it to Hell, Lavi wasn't going to waste the opportunity and realized how weak-minded he was when it came to resisting such temptation. Maybe this way he could see if these feelings were just confusion from a dream or true desire. And if Kanda did happen to wake up while Lavi was doing it, then so be it. He decided quickly he'd deal with the consequences if and when it happened.

Lavi gently, taking his hands, pushed Kanda over onto his back. Kanda's shoulders felt pretty strong, sculpted, and Lavi quickly realized it must be from all the training day-to-day. Lavi himself had some muscle, but it seemed Kanda was more toned, despite weighing less. Perhaps this had to do with their bone structures? Lavi could possibly have heavier and thicker bones, thus the weight difference.

Pushing that off his mind before getting backtracked, he slowly moved his body over the other man's until his knees brushed against Kanda's and he had to slip his own legs over either side of Kanda's to get more comfortable. Their hip bones met and Lavi was now laying on top of Kanda, much like he'd been when they fell through the floorboards.

This time was different though. This time he had the chance to do what he wanted, but he had to do it quickly - he didn't _want_ to do it quickly. Leaning in, Kanda's breath tickling his nose, he sighed softly, brushing his lips over the other's chin and moving some of that dark bluish black hair away from his face. If Lavi didn't move fast, would he miss his chance?

Hovering his lips over the other man's, he stared at his sleeping face with admiration, and let his eye drift closed. If Kanda woke up now, he'd be done for, but he didn't care. Leaning in, head tilting to the side a bit, he stopped stalling and pressed his mouth against that other one. The feeling drowned his mind in a sea of stars, heat poured through his entire body right to his toes, and a delightful chill ran straight down his spine. Oh_ damn_, maybe this wasn't just confusion after all.

Some of his red locks of hair had fallen against Kanda's face by now due to his headband being around his neck, and Lavi didn't even take into mind the tickle could possibly wake Kanda up. Far-gone in the feeling, he carried on with the kiss, trailing his tongue across the other's lips. Oh, if only Kanda was awake and able to contribute, but Lavi didn't care too much, this would be enough, this _was_ enough.

Then a hand slid over Lavi's back, trailing down to his waist, gripping tightly onto the side of his hip. That was all it took for Lavi to jump and pull away from Kanda as quickly as possible, practically falling from the bed. What kept him from falling was an effort of will and the fear of waking Kanda up completely.

"Nn." The noise slipped past the Japanese's mouth and sure enough dark eyes opened and Kanda sat up slowly, rubbing the side of his head. "What the… I fell asleep? When?" Then his eyes darted over to Lavi along with his entire head. "…rabbit."

"Yu," was all Lavi could say in a response to the word he was just called. He'd just kissed him, he'd just _kissed_ Yu Kanda. Nervous wasn't even enough to describe how Lavi felt as the older man stared at him in silence, as if he knew exactly what had happened. Shit. Shit. Shit. Panicked, Lavi cleared his throat and tried to take his mind off of the way he was being looked at. "You have a good rest?"

"Why does it matter?" Kanda asked, practically interrupting Lavi. He wouldn't stop staring at Lavi, which was making the redhead more and more anxious by the second.

Sitting up fully, Lavi shook his head. "Well, uh, I was just curious. I don't know what else to say at the moment." Should he have admitted to that? What if it gave Kanda a clue to what he'd done? Was Lavi being paranoid? Kanda wasn't the brightest in the Order when it came to pure education - Lavi guessed it was his lack of wanting to study as a kid - but he was pretty smart instinctively, especially when it came to fighting and seeing through someone. In example, like right now. Like how he was giving Lavi the look of a vulture ready to rip apart its prey.

Expecting to be killed, Lavi swallowed and braced himself. Instead, however, he wasn't even hit. Shifting on the bed, Kanda turned away from Lavi and swung his legs over the side of the bed, tugging out the hair tie from his long locks and beginning to fix up his messy bed-head hair.

More than relieved, Lavi sighed softly. Oh, thank God that Kanda finally stopped looking at him that way! Also, thank goodness Lavi had only kissed Kanda on the lips, rather than strip him and start doing… _other things_. Cheeks flushed only a little, Lavi turned his back to Kanda as well fearing the other man might notice with his sharp eyes.

"So, Yu," Lavi began, trying to change the topic. "I think the reason we both fell asleep had to do with a gas leak." Lavi quickly realized mentally that was impossible since this house's gas was disconnected, so he came up with something else. "No, wait, I think it was mold. This place doesn't have any gas in the heaters anymore, does it? Plus, there was a heck of a lot of mold in here from what I saw."

When Lavi got no response out of his comrade, he peeked over his shoulder to see what he was doing. He'd heard shuffling up until now that sounded like Kanda was tying back in the thin rope he used to pull his hair into his usual high ponytail, but he was curious anyway. Now he could see Kanda had already done that and was fixing his uniform. _I wonder if he's mad,_ Lavi thought, unable to see the other man's face.

"Yu…" Lavi's voice had dropped to a softer tone now, and he was afraid to ask if Kanda was angry or knew what the redhead had done to him. It'd be pretty stupid to ask anyway, considering that if Kanda _didn't_ know, he'd become curious as to what had been done from Lavi asking. "I'm going to look for some food," Lavi declared, jumping from the bed. He wasn't about to bring up his odd dream right now.

Kanda still didn't say anything and instead made sure his precious Mugen was by the bedside safe and sound. After that, he eyed Lavi and watched him as he peeked into glass cabinets and opened up a few solid wood ones. Come to think of it, he was a little hungry. "Rabbit," Kanda finally said, crossing his arms, "did you find anything yet?"

Oh, so now Kanda was willing to talk to him again. "Not yet - wait, no, I found something!" Lavi replied cheerfully as he fully opened a cabinet with some canned food in it. There was canned fish, canned fruits and vegetables, canned meat even. To the left there was some wheat thoroughly sealed. This cabinet alone had enough food to last for at least a week.

"Well? What did you find?" Kanda's voice from across the room caught Lavi's attention yet again. The man was probably hungry too, Lavi figured, so he'd make haste to bring him something. After all, this was keeping his mind off other things.

Pulling out a can, Lavi examined the label - rather, the small note attached with info about what was in it - and smiled. "Well, there's some fruit, vegetables, meat and fish. There's also some wheat. What would you like? Judging from all these labels, this stuff's okay to eat too since it's fairly new and has been canned."

"Just bring me whatever, I don't care." So Kanda wasn't as picky as Lavi thought he was. Doing just as he was told, Lavi tossed the other man two cans. Kanda caught both and started popping them open, without waiting for Lavi to come back over. Of course, this didn't bother Lavi the least.

Grabbing a couple cans for himself, he shut the cabinet and ventured back to the bed, taking a seat on the edge opposite to Kanda. He set one can aside then started opening the other, feeling a little better than he had ever since his first dream back at the inn. He'd kissed Kanda and it didn't feel fake, it felt real. Maybe, just maybe, that meant all of his feelings for him truly were real too.

Munching on a piece of fruit, Lavi swallowed it as something caught his mind. "Hey, Yu," he began, "we're alone now. We have a chance to talk." At this, he heard all of the sounds Kanda was making cease. "Are you going to tell me what was up with the maid?"

Rather than answering him, Kanda ignored him and started eating. Needless to say it bothered Lavi so the redhead turned a bit on the bed. "Why are you ignoring me?" he asked, shoving another small piece of food into his mouth.

"Because I still don't want to talk about it," was the reply. Kanda shifted as well and gave him a sharp glare which reminded Lavi of what he'd done only a little while ago. Because of this, Lavi didn't bother arguing. Kanda only 'tch'd' and turned his back to Lavi once more, continuing to eat.

Disappointment was clear in Lavi's expression, he really wanted to know what had been going on between Kanda and that maid from the inn. If she had something to do with all of this, Lavi was certain he'd 'hate' Kanda later for it, for not telling him the truth and keeping it secret. After all, this entire time Lavi had been suffering over feelings he thought weren't his and wondering if the heartache would ever end. Thankfully, he'd gotten his revenge finally with that kiss.

Speaking of which, speaking of the maid and their mission, why hadn't the two run into any akuma thus far? Certainly if there was Innocence here the mansion would have at least one or two of the things. Judging by how the exorcists' Innocence had improved as well, there was bound to be even more than that, probably a few level two's and perhaps even as high as a level four. Why were there none?

There was also the case in which Allen and the finder had been running into them all. If so, where was Allen anyway? Was he alright? Ah, that's it! Duh! Lavi had completely forgotten about his golem! Reaching into a pocket, he pulled out the small black golem that opened its wings as soon as it was let out. Unfortunately, his plan was ruined before he'd even gotten to try it.

"Huh, that's weird…" When Lavi said this, Kanda glanced over his shoulder, a piece of a pepper half-sticking out of his mouth. "My golem isn't getting a signal. I mean, I know these are the latest models and still being beta tested, but it's not even getting the slightest fuzzy signal." Sighing, he let it fold its wings back up and placed it back in his pocket. "Must be because of the mansion and this room," Lavi concluded.

"I can't even find mine," Kanda complained from across from Lavi as he went through all of his pockets and even the bag attached to his belt. "Che. I lost it somewhere. I don't know how, but I did."

"That's not like you." Lavi smiled when Kanda glared. "It's alright. I'm sure if we relax a while and think, we'll figure out what to do and even find a way to get out of here."

"We don't have _time_ to relax," Kanda growled, still glaring. "Anyway, you're so afraid the house will cave in if we do anything, so I'm not bothering to try prying those cabinets from the floor. They're nailed in." Obviously whoever previously lived here didn't want their cabinets and furniture being moved from this room, that was for sure. Sheese.

Lavi pondered a moment. They had no ways of communication right now, and even if they screamed their lungs out there was no guarantee Allen would hear them through the thick walls and doors of the mansion. They also had no way out at the moment, which meant all they could really do was sit around and do nothing. Lavi knew full-well Kanda wasn't the type to like sitting around doing nothing during a mission, so he figured he'd keep getting him to talk.

As soon as he went to open his mouth, however, Kanda started talking without Lavi's help. "I joined up with that old geezer Tiedoll when I was ten and traveled around the world for a while." Lavi almost jumped. No, scratch, he _did_. Was Kanda talking about his past? "Then when I joined the Order I met Lenalee and Marie. But that's only the minimal shit." As Kanda was speaking, he didn't turn around. "The higher-ups… forced this group of people I won't name not part of the Order to do experiments, forbidden ones, on certain people."

Lavi's eye widened at that comment. He wanted to ask Kanda to tell him anyway, the name of this group of people, but he wasn't going to push anything on him and make him say more than he wanted to. But now everything was starting to click inside his head. "And you were apart of those experiments… weren't you?" he asked softly, eyeing his comrade.

"That's as much as I'm saying," Kanda grumbled, seeming to be already done with this talk. He was becoming more edgy, but it seemed to Lavi like he was covering up how he was feeling deep down. He sounded a little lonely, but it could've been Lavi's imagination.

A big grin appeared on Lavi's face and he laughed a bit which made Kanda slowly turn around and glare daggers at him. "I-I'm sorry," Lavi chuckled, "but I never thought you'd open up to me, even if only a little like that." His expression changed to a sincere, sweet smile, and Kanda looked away as if embarrassed for having told Lavi that much. Even if he was a bookman, Lavi wasn't going to pry into Kanda's personal life too greatly.

"Anyway, so I don't piss you off much more, I'll be kind and change the topic." Twisting and putting the empty cans aside, Lavi continued. "Don't you wonder who locked us in here? I mean, who'd have the nerve? Do you think it was that maid from before?" Glancing over at Kanda, he was surprised at the reaction.

Throwing one of the cans at a cabinet, Kanda crossed his arms and kept turned away from Lavi. "I don't care who did, I'll kill them regardless." Well, that wasn't so bad. Maybe he wasn't angry at Lavi after all. "The idiot doesn't even realize who they locked me in with, some stupid, annoying, rabbit-brat that doesn't know when to shut its mouth." Never mind.

"Oh, so now you're going to be an ass again?" Lavi glared. "And did you just call me an 'it'? Come on, _Yu-kun_, that's not very nice." He'd purposely used 'kun' to remind Kanda of his general as a dig. Lavi wasn't going to put up with Kanda's attitude problems anymore, especially not after he'd managed to rack up the courage to kiss the bastard, even if that was while Kanda was sleeping. A kiss was a kiss.

Lavi didn't need to see Kanda's face to know his eyebrows were probably twitching and he was obviously trying to hold back flipping out. Bipolar much? Even if Lavi's feelings for him weren't fake, how would _anyone_ be able to survive having Kanda as a boyfriend? "You're trying to start trouble in such a small room, brat? You should know that's not a good idea."

A shit-eating grin brightened Lavi's expression from cheek to cheek. At least Kanda hadn't attacked him - _yet_. "Now, now, Yu, you know I'm only teasing. Let's try to get along since you're stuck in here with this annoying, blabbermouth thing across from you - _me_." Lavi's grin only grew when he noticed Kanda 'tch' and grumble to himself.

At least they'd avoided fighting this time. Lavi hated it when they'd start fighting in the mansion, it drove him nuts. It was strange that Kanda would let it go so easily now though. Well, Kanda _was_ claustrophobic and anti-social, so this was probably like a nightmare to him, being stuck in a compact room with another person, Lavi imagined. He wouldn't bother him too much.

However, Lavi couldn't help his sudden curiosity. Kanda was acting weird, as if the mention of whoever it was that locked them in, and the maid, bothered him big time. Lavi couldn't hold himself back from asking one last thing before getting off the topic for a while. "Yu, quick question though…" Kanda glanced back at him, and Lavi tilted his head a little. "Do you happen to know anything about who locked us in?" Well, there, he did it. He'd asked it. Now for the pain…

Instead of pain or being screamed at, nothing happened. Lavi blinked a few times fast, bewildered. Kanda was simply sitting there staring at him silently with a knowing expression. So he did? He did know something about who locked them in? "Yu?" Lavi sighed when Kanda only turned away and stayed silent. Fine, two could play at that game.

xoxoxox

"Ah… ah, _SHIT_!" He couldn't remember how he got here, or why it had gotten to this point, but maybe he was just cursed in that sense. Because despite how much of a flirt Lavi was, he was still virgin and didn't know every trick in the book. Groaning deeply and slamming his head back against the wall, he shivered when a mouth slowly trailed up his chest.

"_Yu_," Lavi moaned softly, digging his fingers into the other's scalp, practically ripping Kanda's hair tie out a breath later. "Yu, _shit_, you need to stop." Despite saying this, Lavi's hand had tangled itself in the older man's hair, not letting him back away.

There was a strange glow in Kanda's eyes, different than what Lavi'd ever seen there, _stranger_ than what he'd ever seen there. Usually Kanda had the look of a demon on his face, now he had the look of a panther ready to pounce its prey. Kanda looked _hot_. "You don't want me to stop," he said, a growl in his voice.

Lavi groaned. "I don't, _damn_. I don't know why I said that." In a moment their mouths were latched onto each other's, Lavi's free hand raking up and down Kanda's back repeatedly, making him shudder and writhe into Lavi's touch. "_Yes_, Yu," he muttered between the brief seconds their lips were apart. "Oh, God, I can't take it anymore. I… I need this. I need _you_. Please, Yu."

"It's not like you to sound so… _desperate_, rabbit," Kanda breathed, his voice becoming husky, already panting from the torment of the other's nails going up and down his spinal column before. "You look…"

"Sexy? Yeah, I know," Lavi interrupted with a smirk. "I'm totally sexy." Kanda rolled his eyes. "In fact, I'm so sexy that you should probably kiss every part of me for being this good-looking. Start with my feet and get on your knees, Yu-_chan_."

Apparently that had been Kanda's boiling point. Kanda leaned in and bit Lavi in the neck - _hard_. Lavi shouted out in surprise, but seemed to thoroughly enjoy it when Kanda started sucking on the skin there roughly enough to leave a mark. He didn't say another word and simply dug his nails into both Kanda's scalp and back once again. When the other shuddered against him, Lavi purred like a satisfied kitty-cat.

That was when things really heated up. Apparently as Lavi trailed his hand all over Kanda's back, he found a weak spot. As soon as his nails grinded under the bottom of one of Kanda's shoulder blades, the other flinched and gasped out softly into Lavi's skin, biting him once more, this time almost enough to draw blood. Ah, so Kanda did have his weak points after all.

Continuously, deviously, trailing his nails back and forth in that same spot over and over, Lavi enjoyed the sounds Kanda was making at the motion and didn't even care when he was bit in two other spots around his neck for it. He just kept enjoying himself, having fun with it, and taking his time, dragging Kanda along for the ride on the greatest roller coaster of their lives.

Then, what happened next drove Lavi into the corner Kanda had previously been in. "Lavi," the Japanese breathed into his ear sexily, probably not even trying to make it sound that way, "your legs are shaking." Sure enough Lavi glanced down to double-check and Kanda took the chance to trip him and pin him to the ground.

"That was cheap," Lavi whispered angrily once his back hit the cold, hard floor - although the anger was more at himself for falling for that than Kanda having done it to begin with. "You don't seem to like it when I torture you like that and not let you do the same." His comment caused Kanda to lean close to his face, their visions exchanging glances. "I'll take that as a 'yes.'"

"Take it as you want," Kanda replied, "but either way, you're a stupid rabbit." The comment stirred up laughter from Lavi who only teased him continuously. Both continued to throw taunts at each other, although since Lavi's voice was higher than Kanda's, each voice was easily differentiated.

Next, Kanda slipped a hand down over Lavi's thigh, sliding over it up and down slowly. "You like my legs?" Lavi asked, smirking. He felt pretty full of himself right about now. Kanda mumbled something in Japanese and locked his mouth over Lavi's to shut him and his teasing up, so the redhead made a content little noise rather than complaint and slipped his hands around the other man's waist.

Happy at the reaction he got, Lavi moved his hands up to Kanda's shoulder blades and teasingly circled his fingers there. Lavi was pretty much having the time of his life while Kanda on the other hand was becoming frustrated.

There was no doubt in his mind that he was enjoying what Lavi was doing, but it was true - he didn't like not being able to get revenge. So, using all the focus techniques he'd learned over the years, he quickly moved his mouth to Lavi's ear, chuckling creepily into it. Lavi gasped and stopped what he was doing a moment, and Kanda bit down onto his ear lobe. Lavi whimpered. Damn, that was one of _his_ weak spots.

Kanda felt so much better, especially since while he was sucking and torturing one of Lavi's pierced ears, he'd managed to find yet another spot. As soon as he ran his fingers over Lavi's hip, the redhead shivered and squirmed. "You have a sensitive spot on your hip?" Kanda said, being mean.

"Screw you," Lavi retorted, embarrassed. Kanda didn't think much could embarrass Lavi, but he'd found something that did. Speaking of which… "What?" Lavi blinked a few times fast. Both were kind of just there, not doing anything at the moment, and Kanda had this awful look on his face like he was about to do something horribly cruel.

Before Lavi could say anything else, Kanda had pushed him back so his hands were no longer touching him and shoved them down by the wrists. "I think I liked how helpless you looked." Lavi's eye widened a bit. "Kind of like when I threaten you with Mugen. You get this wide-eyed expression and gasp. It's amusing." Further embarrassed and a little mad, Lavi tried to pull away, but Kanda already had his face against Lavi's chest again.

Whining at his predicament, Lavi tried pushing Kanda back with his legs - hey, he could be just as mean if he wanted - but due to how tightly the other man was gripping them almost immediately, even Lavi's strong legs couldn't do it. Dammit, why'd he let himself get into this spot?

Sighing in defeat, tipping his head back, Lavi let it hit the cold ground softly, staring blankly at the ceiling. Pretty soon he knew he'd be seeing stars up there, for he knew this wasn't going to end here - at least, not if it had been the real thing.

Two sets of eyes - well, one and a half since Lavi's right eye was covered - snapped open and both Lavi and Kanda found each other in the same position they'd been in before when they'd fallen asleep on the bed last night. Of course, Lavi was the only one who knew they'd been like this previously. But wait, how had they gotten here? Oh, that's right. After a while, they both had felt sleepy again and laid down to rest… _on the same bed_. Eventually, they must have fallen asleep, even if it was daytime.

Lavi wasn't complaining about that, he loved taking naps. Calming himself, he finally realized it had all been simply a dream, the things he'd done with Kanda, and that that was the reason he hadn't remembered how it was happening. How silly! There he was, having had yet _another_ perverted dream, and it was all thanks to kissing Kanda before for real probably! "Yu," Lavi choked out between breaths, realizing something else suddenly. "Why are you… groping my ass?"


	8. So Close, Yet So Far

SS: With storms, my birthday week back in July, and other offline complications, I was beginning to despair of ever finishing this hard-to-write chapter. But it's finally done. I'll try to get the next installment out sooner for Lavi's birthday, I love the guy after all. -clings to offline collection of Lavi things-

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

* * *

**Chapter 8 So Close, Yet So Far**

* * *

"Y-Yu…" Lavi hesitated, frozen in shock. All he could do was stare across at the other man laying next to him in awe, silently enjoying the fingers pressed across his behind. And okay, maybe he was enjoying it a bit _too_ much, because when Kanda ripped his hand away in embarrassment, Lavi frowned in disappointment. "Why were you just groping my ass?" he asked softly again, trying to hide his liking of it.

Kanda shifted a little uncomfortably, then froze in place, having realized something himself. "Well…" First, he bit his lip, as if trying to comprehend what he'd noticed fully, then continued. "Why are _you_ groping my… _crotch_?"

Lavi's green hue went wide in disbelief and he didn't bother glancing down, instead squeezing the fingers of both of his hands to confirm that. His cheeks instantly heated when one hand felt like it was squeezing something _warm_ and _hard_ through fabric. "I… don't know?" At that, he felt a twitch, and pulled his hand back almost as fast as the Japanese had.

It was only a matter of another five seconds before both young men had jumped away from each other, practically falling off the sides of the bed they had been sprawled out on. Clearly, they were extremely embarrassed, yet at the same time there was a hint of enjoyment showing through their now clouded expressions, despite their attempts to hide it. Lavi noticed he wasn't the only one quite quickly.

"Yu…" Lavi said, fingers digging into the sheets to help keep himself on the mattress, eye fixed on the older man. "You liked that…" The three words seemed to spark something foreign in the Asian's dark eyes, something Lavi never thought would ever be there, and they flashed a more bluish black color.

Kanda didn't respond to the comment, clinging to the bed much the same way Lavi was, his own vision staring straight back into the redhead's. Instead, he opened his mouth as if ready to say something, but no sound came out. Instantly, it clamped back shut and there was a moment of pure silence. What more could be said? Both were out of their right minds at the moment it seemed.

Or maybe their voices just couldn't express their feelings at the moment. The way each was staring into one another's organs of vision spoke more words than their lips could produce, and a mix of embarrassment, fear, enjoyment even, shined brighter than their pink cheeks. Neither could remember ever blushing this much, not all through-out their lifetimes so far - Kanda couldn't remember the last time he blushed period.

Yu Kanda wasn't the type to care for sex or even romance, he himself knew he was fairly uninterested openly, yet he couldn't stop his cheeks from heating at that 'stupid rabbit' across from him. Because of this, he let out an annoyed grunt and quickly, _forcefully_, turned himself to his side so his back was facing Lavi, almost falling off the bed in the process.

Lavi pursed his lips a bit at the movement, taking offense at first, then realizing after a breath it was for the better. "I… dreamed," he whispered to break the dreadful silence, knowing his voice was loud enough for Kanda to hear. Kanda didn't move. "I dreamed of _you_," Lavi added, his fingers digging deeper into the bed. He knew it'd make Kanda mad to talk about it more than likely, but he wasn't going to lie. The Japanese probably already thought of him as a stalker for more reasons than just this trip.

Slowly, the bed creaked a little, but Kanda remained laying the same way. A small sigh escaped Lavi's mouth and he had to bite his lip nervously before being able to continue. "It was really erotic, and we were about to… you know-"

"Do it?" The interruption surprised Lavi enough that he jumped in place, his panicked heart skipping a beat. Kanda's head twisted just a bit, but enough so that one of his sharp eyes could be seen staring back at the redhead. He didn't look mad, another fact that astounded Lavi, but Lavi didn't want to jump the gun and jinx himself.

Swallowing, he gave a nod. "Yeah, Yu." Anxious didn't come close to describing the feeling Lavi felt in his swelling chest as he stared at nothing but Kanda. If there were a word for it, he'd have to learn it, because he felt ready to run far away to get rid of the wretched feeling. "We were going to… I don't know why I enjoyed it. Sorry. Used to only get that desire with women, you know?" With this, Lavi was only making conversion, however…

"I do _not_ know," Kanda growled, sounding insulted. "Unlike you, I am not a horny rabbit with the desire to bang everything with breasts and a pretty face!" While saying this, Kanda jumped up from his position and slammed a hand on the bed, startling Lavi. "I can't believe you! You honestly think I'd screw around with you of all people or anyone for that matter? Aside from that, I _do not like you_!"

By the time Kanda had finished, he was hovering over Lavi in a threatening way, causing the later of the two to hold up his hands in a gesture that had 'calm down' written all over it. "Yu… I'm sorry." Lavi's voice was a little shaky because this anger made him suspicious and fearful at the same time. "Did you, maybe, sorry if this sounds stupid, but… have a dream like mine?" It wouldn't hurt to ask - okay, it might.

Rather than another onslaught of anger, Kanda froze and slowly moved a hand to his mouth, biting his knuckle and looking away. "It wasn't like I had a choice in the matter," he muttered against the bone, sounding embarrassed. "Besides, you wouldn't shut up and you'd said it was the only way since I couldn't kill you for some reason… or something stupid." Thoroughly annoyed at himself, he stopped talking there.

"Yu!" Lavi gasped, eye wide. "You… really had one like mine?" Apparently Kanda wasn't ready to admit to it directly, far too full of pride, so Lavi merely watched him turn away and reach for Mugen. "Wait… wait, Yu. I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you… You're, um, not going to, uh, try to kill me in reality, right?"

"I'll think about it," was the reply, making Lavi nervous. He practically gasped again, and the weird thing that followed the almost-made noise was a quiet chuckle. It wasn't a friendly little laugh, oh no, it was a rather cruel snickering.

Lavi pouted when he realized he was being joked with. It was then Lavi decided he didn't like Kanda's jokes at all and certainly didn't like being the one teased. "That wasn't very nice," he said with a frown. Kanda only shook his head and snickered a bit more. "I hate you," Lavi added, sitting up. "But I wonder why you're in such a good mood so suddenly. Are you the manic-depressive one?" His look held sarcasm, but he still felt a little mad at being scared about the 'fake' threat.

"I thought it was funny how scared you are of me sometimes," Kanda commented, now holding his precious sword in his hands. "We don't seem to share the same humor. Pretty unlucky. No one seems to with me though." With a smirk, Kanda gave Lavi an 'innocent' look - if there was such a thing for that guy.

Lavi crossed his arms and glared softly. "That's because your 'sense of humor' involves scaring people half to death." Sighing, Lavi turned and reached for his hammer which had fallen out of its holder and onto the floor. He wondered why the metal didn't leave a mark in the old floors momentarily, but pushed the thought into a black hole soon after. That wasn't important… _right_?

However, what _was_ definitely important, was solving this stupid mystery that had been thrown onto them, blanketing them in a world of confusion and madness. Of course, one got used to such things when they were an exorcist. And besides, in order to solve everything, they'd have to figure out how to get the heck out of the room first.

With a big sigh, Lavi leaned back onto the bed, the creak of the old wood bouncing through-out the room and giving off a creepy kind of 'ice echo,' so to speak. Such a noise really freaked him out during this situation. He really didn't like this room anymore. "Yu, what do you think all this means?" The sudden question slipped past the redhead's lips without his own full awareness.

"What do I think all of what means?" Kanda shifted and gave Lavi a good hard stare. When Lavi didn't respond, he looked away and ran his fingers over Mugen's sheath while thinking. "I don't know. There's something twisted about that woman too. Just stay the hell away from her, if you know what's good for you."

Lavi blinked, turning his attention completely back to his comrade. "What do you mean? And how would you know that?" Kanda twitched. "Or is that just a wild guess based on your gut feeling?" The tenseness Lavi suddenly saw along the other's shoulders from his first words momentarily faded the second time he glanced at them after the 'or' question. Suspicious, Lavi tapped a foot on the floor, trying his best not to blurt something that'd piss Kanda off yet again.

Kanda mumbled a couple things to himself before setting his Innocence aside, his dark eyes focused on anything but Lavi. It seemed like he wasn't willing to talk about it more still, as he hadn't said a word so far to break the sudden silence caused by Lavi's questions, despite how he was the one to originally re-bring the topic of the maid up. Right about now, Lavi wished he knew Kanda better for sake of the mission if anything. What if what he was keeping secret held extreme importance?

Wait. That was it! Eureka! Although Lavi was hesitant about the idea he'd just gotten, he ended up going ahead with it anyway. It wouldn't hurt to try and he had to crack Kanda open somehow. Scratch the 'it wouldn't hurt,' this just possibly might hurt _a lot_, but again, he _had_ to get Kanda to talk.

Listening to the dreaded creak once again, Lavi moved himself along the bed until he was sitting directly behind the older, more nimble in physical speed man, giving a good swallow out of pure nervousness before stopping his movements a second. Lavi was a good actor, but he wasn't a _perfect_ actor. He had to be careful Kanda didn't see right through him, because even someone with a lack of academics was smart in other ways.

So how would he go about this exactly? Kanda was pretty for a guy, but he was _very_ far from being girly, those types of seduction weren't going to work on him more than likely, especially considering as far as Lavi knew, the other was previously asexual. Then perhaps his usual charm might do the trick? In this situation, Lavi began to wonder if what he had was _actual_ 'charm.'

Damning it, Lavi cleared his throat, almost jumping when he noticed the person in front of him flinch as if hearing the sound so close caused him to be anxious. Well, since there was no turning back now, Lavi tried the first thing that came to mind, the first thing he thought _might_ work on Kanda.

Snaking his long, firm arms around Kanda's waist from behind in a solid grip, Lavi hovered his mouth by the older man's ear in a teasing manner, making his breath tickle the skin of the other's neck. "_Yuuuu_," he purred softly, his voice lingering a bit of sadness, "you're making me feel like we're _never_ going to get this mission done with."

A grunt slipped into the air and Kanda shifted uncomfortably, obviously making a slight attempt at getting loose from the bookman's grip. "You're the one contributing to that…" And maybe it was just Lavi, but he swore Kanda wasn't _really_ trying to get loose.

"Mm, but you won't tell me what you know," Lavi commented, "that also contributes. You could at least inform me for the sake of the mission."

Kanda bit his lip a little and gave a quick and sudden shove, causing Lavi to be so surprised he let go and fell backward onto the mattress. "It's not your concern and it'd only make the mission more complicated than it needs to be."

Lavi's brows met in the center and he pushed himself up, giving Kanda a strange stare as if the other could see it even with his back turned. More complicated than it needs to be? This was _already_ more complicated than it needed to be! It was all because Kanda kept his mouth shut about the details too.

"What if I said you've already made it more complicated than it needs to be by confusing the heck out of me?" No response. "Well, you have. And if I _do_ know what's good for me, then it would be _you_ telling me _everything_, Yu Kanda."

If being called by his given name irked Kanda, of course being called his full and being spoken to like that annoyed him, however, the situation apparently was keeping him from flipping out entirely. "If I told you everything, I'd have to kill you," he muttered through clenched teeth. Lavi mistook it as a threat it wasn't meant to be.

Rolling his eye, he glared. "Do you honestly think I'm not used to your mood swings by now? I'm not afraid, I know you won't. Now tell me what you know already!" The snap made the older man return the look of anger, but he didn't do anything too harsh like whipping out Mugen. Instead, he reached over and caught Lavi by the collar, his tone and look completely serious. "What are you-?"

"I'm being _serious_, you stupid rabbit," Kanda growled lowly, his grip tightening as he said the words. Rather than the grip seeming intimidating, it seemed pretty anxious, expressing Kanda's feelings better than his voice. "I'm not threatening you, I'm stating a fact. The less you know, the better. You have no idea what happened to me and no idea what's going on, and that's a good thing. I don't want to…"

The power previously in the man's tone faded, and he looked hesitant to continue, his hand dropping as he shook his head. Lavi'd never seen Kanda look this way, and quite frankly, his actions, his words, the look on his face even, scared the life out of the redhead. It scared him in a different way than he'd ever been scared before by Kanda.

"You have no idea, you really don't…" Kanda had turned away by now, his head tilted down in thought. His voice that had previously faded momentarily had started up again, this time not as strong though. "Even if you did, you wouldn't understand why I did what I did. And even _then_, how the hell am I supposed to explain it?" To Lavi, the Japanese sounded embarrassed as he spoke, and that was something no one _ever_ saw in Kanda. The guy was immune to such an emotion Lavi had thought for the longest time. But now, through-out this trip alone, Lavi had seen it multiple times.

Lavi had lived most of his life without a care for emotions, so how now was he supposed to comfort Kanda of all people? Was it _possible_ to comfort him? The wondering somehow lead to the bookman in training slipping a hand over one of Kanda's, much the same way he'd comforted Lenalee before. Kanda may have been the opposite of her, a man, thus not usually liking the type of comforting many girls did, but Lavi was at a loss right now for what to do and ended up doing the first thing that came to mind.

He felt Kanda's hand stiffen up and tense under his own, but the other man made no effort to move it. He simply silently turned to look at the redhead, confused, angry, _frustrated_, and the mixed expression made Lavi's heart sink. It was the exact same way he was feeling about everything, yet he knew deep down there was more to why Kanda's face reflected those things. There was more that Kanda wasn't telling him - because he feared for Lavi's…

"Are you afraid you'll have to _really_ kill me if you tell me? _Why_?" Lavi pressed, trying to force the answer out. He was already in danger for having watched Allen's little chat with Cross, surely this couldn't be half as bad as the Order keeping their eye on you and plotting ways to kill you when your back is turned.

Kanda's eyes dropped a moment then returned up, something glazing them over, something like… fear. Fear? Never in his life would Lavi have expected to find _that_ of all emotions reflecting in Kanda's dark and dangerous eyes, in fact he wondered if he was delusional due to lack of good sleep. However, no matter how long he stared, it was still there, shining as brightly and clearly as the anger had on Kanda's face.

The Japanese finally moved his hand and turned the back of his head to Lavi again, staring at a wall. He'd never been in such a situation as this before, so it was obvious he was trying to keep his cool and not flip out at the tiniest of things, but of course that was hard and so he couldn't keep looking at Lavi's face. "I can't tell you, haven't you been listening to me?"

Growing aggravated, Lavi grabbed one of Kanda's shoulders roughly and forced him to look back at him again. "For the love of the Earth, I _have_ been listening, and that's why I'm so goddamn confused! Can't you stop being so selfish and just tell me what's going on, you bastard?" he snapped, face twisted with anger and a few other things.

"How am I being selfish?" Kanda returned the harshness of Lavi's voice almost two-fold, losing his temper at having been forced around. "I'm looking out for your idiot self! I'm being _nice_! You're the selfish one-!"

"SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK!" Kanda's eyes widened at being told such a thing, and before he could react, Lavi's face toned down to a more hurt than pissed one as he continued while he had the chance. "Don't you get it or are you really that dumb? I care about you, okay? I do. Even before all this I did. You're my friend, just like Allen, just like Lenalee, just like Crowley, just like everyone else. And you just keep trying to get out of telling me what's going on, but you're only making things worse."

Keeping his vision directed right back into Kanda's, he snatched the other's hand, squeezing it tightly as a means to express himself more. If his words alone weren't enough, perhaps more physical touching would help. "You're driving me crazy, Yu. I'm a bookman, I'm pretty smart, I have a great memory, but I'm not perfect and I'm not a mind reader. I can't predict how you're feeling and I can't do anything to make you feel better if you're not going to tell me what's wrong. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

Before Kanda could reply, he answered for him. "Awful, it makes me feel awful. It makes me feel useless. It makes me feel angry. It makes me feel like all I've ever been to you is another annoyance." Shaking his head, hand trembling a little due to how bitter he was feeling about the whole mess, Lavi turned his visible eye to the floor, slowly letting go of the other man's hand. "And if that's all I am to you, if that's all _everyone_ is to you, then that's fine, but it's not right that you're keeping this burden all on yourself when it has to do with both of us. I don't like it, I don't like it at all."

Angry, confused, annoyed - awkward was perhaps another suitable add-in - those words weren't even enough to describe how he was feeling right then. Although, despite this, Lavi wasn't quite finished speaking yet, and so he turned his brain with the wheel of force and tried to hide the anxiousness in his voice.

"Yu Kanda," he said softly, "if it makes you feel any better to know…" Tipping his head down, he let his bangs shroud his expression to emphasize his words. "You, solely you, have destroyed every last bit of me that hoped even a bookman could engage in emotions without it ruining his logic and neutrality. I hope it makes you feel great, because you're the one reason now that I'll actually leave the Order when Gramps and I have to. Just to get away from you, I'll-"

"I didn't realize you felt that way…" Interrupted by a low whisper, Lavi lifted his head to stare at the second man. Kanda was now sitting facing Lavi, however, his expression looked strange, strange in a way it'd never looked. He kind of looked… depressed. Again Lavi was shot with a bullet, because he had never in his life thought he would see that one on Kanda's face either. There was also a mix of that dangerous anger lurking, but the look of sadness overpowered it in the long run.

Lavi turned back away and shook his head. "Why would you care? You don't. You're immune to that kind of crap, I know this already. And… about what I said, I…" In the long run, Lavi hadn't meant what he said about Kanda being the reason he'd leave the Order when he eventually had to. He was just really mad, and because he was really mad, he said such a thing. Not that it bothered him - Kanda probably thought nothing of it anyway. Thus, he didn't apologize like he was about to.

"By the way," Lavi said suddenly, keeping himself turned away, "you shouldn't look so sad, it's weird and it doesn't suit your face. Anger, calmness and a big smug smirk are the only things that do. Don't worry, we'll get over all this soon enough, I bet." Softly, one last comment slipped past his lips, one he hadn't meant to let slip past them. "…but I hope we never do."

As if the words ignited a bomb, Kanda got a hold of Lavi's shoulder and ripped him around so fast that the redhead had no idea how to react. And before he could say anything, even gasp, Kanda had their lips pressed together just as fast. The feel sent chills down both of their spines, and visibly Lavi melted into the kiss, even sighing in a relieved way. _God_, everything he'd been hoping for, _dreaming_ for, was it happening right now?

In disbelief, Lavi slipped his arms around Kanda's waist due to being afraid he'd pull away otherwise, his grip more than tight. Apparently Kanda had no such intention at the moment at least, but his hand on Lavi's shoulder was trembling, and his whole body shivered when Lavi's grasp pulled them closer, heat pouring from their lips' contact through their chests and stomachs, down to another place even. So, in an attempt to calm him, Lavi ran his fingers gently over Kanda's back.

More relief flooded the bookman's mind when Kanda stopped shaking and nudged Lavi to lay down with the hand on his shoulder. Obeying the gentle command, he shifted and softly let his back hit the mattress, not releasing his hold on the Japanese nor breaking their kiss. In other words, they went down together, the soft massage of their mouths whispering words they couldn't otherwise say, words they so desperately needed to express to one another before their very hearts imploded inside their chests.

Kanda wasn't extremely heavy, actually, both of them were underweight for their height and age, but Lavi was still very well aware the other man was completely over him by his weight. What surprised him though, was the feel of one of Kanda's hands brush over his cheek and pull his red locks of hair aside. Lavi returned the favor and had to hold his hand there simply because gravity would otherwise make the other's hair fall back down. The actions made them both stop to simply exchange stares, each other's face glazed over with embarrassment due to how they were enjoying it so much.

They'd finally parted lips for air by this time, their shallow breaths the only sounds in the room besides the slight creaking of the bed. Lavi had to break that eerie silence. "Yu… s-so cute," Lavi stuttered, amazed further seeing Kanda like this. "Really, really cute…"

"Shut up," Kanda replied breathlessly, glaring softly not harshly. "You're the one that word suits, not me. You…" Kanda's gaze went down and then shot back up to Lavi's face. "…_rabbit_." Lavi quickly realized the other man was using that word in a different figurative way and had to credit him for being clever.

Lavi gave a laugh and slid his hand down Kanda's face slowly, locks of dark hair falling over his hand as he did so. "If I'm a rabbit, I still say you're a cat, Mr. Emotional." Instead of reacting angrily, Kanda sighed and leaned back down, so Lavi took the chance to tug his face closer by gripping his side bangs. "Yu, what does this mean?" he asked, face flooded with a hopeful look.

Kanda swallowed and seemingly forced himself to relax, moving his head even further down by Lavi's ear. "I don't know," he whispered calmly, "but I want to find out." As if the words were meant to be a trigger for something more, Lavi couldn't help but smile as he closed his eye. Did this mean they were going to…?

"Yu," Lavi returned in a whisper as well, "let's find out right now." Sneaking his hands to Kanda's front, he began undoing the buttons on his comrade's jacket, more than excited to carry on further. However, as soon as he finished the last button and had his hands inside the other's jacket, another hand clamped itself around one of his wrists.

Confused, Lavi found himself gazing back into those black eyes tinted with green and blue. "I can't." The two words made Lavi freeze in place, heart beating a thousand miles per hour. "I can't do it, Lavi." Perhaps he was expecting this deep down due to thinking about it when the kiss first happened, because the rejection didn't seem to sting so much. How Kanda had seemingly enjoyed that very kiss a lot is what made it sting still despite expecting it. He wasn't hearing things, Kanda said _no_. Precisely, he _can't_.

Lavi's previously happily beating heart was now beating in a different way, the way it beat when plain out-right rejection struck. "What do you mean? You… can't? Why not? Is it me, am I too annoying? Because I can stop being-"

"It's not that you're annoying," Kanda interrupted, pulling away and re-buttoning his jacket. "And believe me, you _are_ annoying. But it really has nothing to do with that… I wanted to do it - I mean… It's just, I _can't_. Let's pretend that didn't happen for your sake and mine."

Disappointed couldn't quite sum up how Lavi was feeling at that moment as he laid there, his green eye filling with a million things. At least if Kanda couldn't do it, he didn't have to go and kiss Lavi to make Lavi think he could. For the first time, Lavi felt a bit of hatred swelling in his chest towards that other man. Even Kanda couldn't be so cruel - at least, that's what the redhead had thought.

"I can't believe this," Lavi said, heavyhearted. And how could he? Just when he thought they'd finally found a way to get over all this confusion and annoying feelings - WHAM - it was gone just as fast as it came. "I can't believe even you'd do this to me… What is this, a joke to you?"

Kanda sat there silently staring off into some other world, and despite how it seemed he was deep in thought, he was also listening ever so closely to every word the other man was saying. And, shaking his head, he didn't reply.

Lavi clenched a fist and jumped up, snatching his hammer while getting off the bed. "You _do_ think it's a joke!" the redhead shouted, kicking a cabinet. "Your sense of humor fucking _sucks_!" And there it was, the thing that would snap his formerly cool temper. While Lavi was usually very collected, there were times when his composure would melt and burst into a flame of anger the color of his hair, overriding whatever bit of control he had over it.

Every bit of worry he previously had that the house would fall down from too much rough-housing was overpowered by the hurt and anger, and he repeatedly kicked that same cabinet over and over, feeling the looming stare of Kanda already but not caring. He'd never felt so embarrassed, so used, so _ridiculous_. Did he honestly think Kanda was going to become serious about all of this? Well, Kanda was right about one thing - Lavi found himself to be more of an idiot than anyone ever was at that moment.

The Japanese's stare wasn't dangerous or threatening, though it held a certain sarcasm as if he were reflecting on how Lavi had been the one to tell him not to do such things. He opened his mouth to speak, but then instantly shut it. He actually had no idea what to say other than, 'Stop acting like an animal like you told me not to,' and _that_ certainly wouldn't help the situation.

And maybe it was karma or that Lady Luck was feeling a bit of sympathy for Lavi, but the moment the whole room felt like it was going to cave in, the nails that held the cabinet into the floor let loose and the whole thing toppled over almost smacking him. Left in its place on the wall was a small window, just big enough for Kanda or Lavi to fit through. Flabbergasted, bewildered, Lavi did the first thing that came to mind - he pried it open and crawled out of the room. Anything would be better than being stuck in there with Kanda for another second right now!

Kanda didn't bother chasing after Lavi despite how he was the one who wanted out of that room so bad. It was a good sign that he didn't really know what he'd do even if he did catch him. The Asian wasn't good at comforting anyone, so he knew it'd be a genuinely bad idea to try now, especially when Lavi was so goddamn pissed off.

Heaving a sigh, placing a hand on his forehead, Kanda closed his eyes slowly and tried to focus his brain on anything other than the look on Lavi's face when he told him he couldn't do it. Unfortunately for him, that look was plastered into his mind as well as the last delicious bowl of soba he'd eaten back at the Order. "_Damn_ it," he swore, "I need to meditate…"

xoxoxox

"How could I be so stupid?" Lavi muttered to himself, dragging his feet across the ground as he walked away from the mansion, not even aware of the fact there could be akuma roaming around due to all the distractions. He felt awful, like a complete and total idiot for starting to believe, even for a moment, they'd 'work out.'

Lavi was so distraught that he didn't stop walking until he was fairly deep into the forest, coming by a small lake, too big to be a pond. Many a times during his journeys with Bookman he'd sit by a lake just like this one, enjoying the sounds of nature and watching the clouds move across the sky as he thought. It always calmed him down a great deal, maybe it would help now.

Taking a seat by the edge on a large rock, he tapped his hammer on the piece of Earth softly, staring across the water as the gentle 'tick' noises acted as a sort of soothing rhythm. He'd never felt so stupid in his entire life as he did now, the haunting voice echoing in the back of his head, 'You're a fool, Kanda would never succumb to you of all people.'

Hurt, Lavi smacked his hammer hard against the stone, the metal causing a small chip of the bolder to crumple down to the ground. "If only I hadn't been so… so eager," he admitted to the air, his expression showing remains of the face he had when Kanda kissed him. "But it felt so good… Damn it, what the hell am I saying?"

There was nothing more embarrassing than recalling how _much_ he'd really liked what had been done to him. That electrifying touch of another's lips against his own, something he'd never experienced this way. In all his nineteen years, he'd never been kissed that way before, never in a way so intoxicating that he thought he'd die otherwise if he didn't feel it once more.

Then it hit him. "Oh, God…" The only way a kiss felt like that was when you and that other were either a perfect physical match, in which your body would signal that to you via the kiss, or… if you were so in love that a simple touch to the lips by that other's red, soft, moist skin drove you mad for them, whether or not you were perfect matches to begin with. Lavi's heart sank. Had he really fallen for Kanda so deeply and seriously? Certainly the two of them weren't possibly perfect matches from the start.

Had this really gone from a simple crush to head over heels so fast? The thought was now racing through the redhead's disassembled mind, breaking it into more pieces than it was already in. He'd heard of 'love at first sight' and 'absence makes the heart grow fonder,' but what in the world would one call this situation?

So many questions with no answers, he wasn't getting anywhere just sitting here thinking about it. There had to be something that could crack this all open, fill in the missing pieces in the puzzle. And maybe, just maybe, the thing he was looking for was quite obviously there from the start.

"I don't get it," he said slowly, glancing down into the water at his own reflection. "The maid… What Yu's hiding from me… Yu knows why I out of the blue fell for him, he knows and he won't tell me. _That's_ what he's hiding from me and the maid has something to do with it. What a stupid ass I was! I should've been more pushy!"

Frustration brewing, he tossed a small rock at the water, watching the ripples move across the pool. Just a little while ago, Lavi was about to do some things with Kanda he didn't imagine would ever happen, yet somehow here he was, sitting outside of that room away from Kanda. "Away from Yu…" At that moment, something appeared in his emerald hue far from anger.

"Yu-san," he whispered softly, his expression spacey, "why can't you be more honest with me? I'm not going to laugh at you or call you stupid if you told me everything. I… want to know how you really feel… I want-"

"Do you ever stop talking about him or thinking about him?" The familiar voice echoed among the trees and snapped Lavi out of whatever daze he'd gone into. He turned and looked behind him to find _that_ woman standing there, her expression a sarcastically angry one. "Yu this, Yu that, _bleck_! You're too obviously love-stricken, La. But don't worry, I can cure you!"

Narrowing his only visible eye, Lavi gave her an unfriendly gaze. He really wasn't in the mood for this. "What the hell are you even talking about?" Or maybe… maybe this was a good thing! If he couldn't get anything out of Kanda, maybe he could get something out of her!

A giggle slipped past the maid's lips and she shook her head. "What I mean is, you're in love with the wrong person!" Lavi could only pinch his eyebrows together in a confused manner at that. In return, the woman pulled a hand through her perfect hair and fluffed it up flirty-like, batting her eyelids multiple times quickly. "If you really want to know the truth, I'll tell it to you. Your friend is a liar, I used him to get to you, and furthermore…"

What the hell was happening right now and so quickly too? "La… _Ti amo_." The two words caused his breath to halt and his body to freeze. He knew enough Italian from visiting Italy to know what those words meant. "I love you so much! I'm so happy to tell you!" Laughing, she spun around in circles like a child, the broom in her hand held high above her head as she did so. Just as fast, however, her tone and facial features changed from spunky and cute to dark and mean.

"I love you so much I… I… I want to you eat you whole!" In a flash, her smile formed with rows of sharp teeth and the lens of each of her eyes shrank, her eyes themselves becoming oval with red veins on the white budging. "I want you all to myself! I refuse to share with that pretty man!"

Lavi's eye went wide in shock and he had to push himself up to his feet quickly. Oh, God, the maid… She was an akuma! Did that mean _all_ the workers back at the inn were and that this was just a trap? If so, what if Allen and the finder were in danger this entire time? And Kanda… "Yu!" Lavi shouted back at the direction of the mansion. "Yu, akuma! An akuma showed its face here! Watch out, there are probably more and-!" A gasp escaped his mouth when he felt his hammer get knocked from his hand while yelling before he could even finish.

"I've had enough of you talking all about him…" the monster growled lowly, shifting into her true form - a medium-sized pink and red akuma with the 'white' of its eyes black and the lenses red. She still looked fairly more 'human' for an akuma, less the metal plates all over her form, but she was definitely a level 2. "Come and be a good boy… I want you to focus on me and only me now, La…"


	9. Doubt And Trust

SS: Another late update, my apologies. However, I promise I'll finish this fic soon. Since the beginning, there are thirteen to fourteen chapters and an epilogue plotted. I really will try updating quicker if time permits, I must finish before inspiration dies completely after all!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 9 Doubt And Trust**

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"Hey, Yu!" A grumble was the response to the two words, but the cheery voice didn't die down. In fact, it only grew ever more obnoxious, as if being done on purpose to combat with the more grumpy person. No fear was in this voice, only boldness, despite how many feared that grumpy person. "I want to ask you something!"

"_What_?" the brunet snapped, already annoyed. He turned his head to stare at the one addressing him by his given name, something he thoroughly loathed.

A big cheeky grin plastered itself across the redhead's face as he snaked an arm around the other's shoulder and got real close. "Have you ever liked someone?" A common question, but one no one seemed to dare ask the one he was asking. "I mean, really, _really_ liked them. Little crushes like the ones I get a lot don't count. I want to know if it's intense!" He tightened his grip, eager to know the answer.

A glare. "What the _hell_?" The older one smacked the other's arm away and turned to leave. "Don't waste my time with such games!"

"Ehh, but Yu," the bookman whined, "I'm serious! I want to know! And I'm not leaving you be until you tell me!"

A pause. "Okay, if you want to know so badly…" A slight twinkle sparked in the only visible green orb on the slightly taller man's face. "No. I've never once had a 'big crush' on anyone. Now… You have ten seconds to get as far away as possible before I split your skull open and fry you up for rabbit stew!"

"You're so mean, Yu! Learn to play around and be more of a fun guy!"

"I'm about to show you my idea of fun if you don't get the hell away from me and stop calling me by my given name."

"Yuuuuu!"

"Your merciful ten second countdown starts now."

"Aw, come on, Yu! I was only playing around!"

"Ten, nine, eight…"

"Ah, w-wait! Don't be so harsh!"

"…seven, six, five, four…"

"Come on, aren't we friends now?"

"…three, two, one…"

"I-I thought you liked me as a friend at least!"

A gasp. "No, don't… not the sword… that hurts," were the softly muttered words into thick air, the tone of voice a sleepy one. Lavi drowsily tilted his head up, a million things racing through his mind like runners in a marathon. His eye flicked open slowly, vision blurry for a little while. He found too he couldn't move his arms or legs, and that fact annoyed him. "I was… dreaming again? When did I fall asleep?"

"La, so cute, you're all groggy!" A cheery voice he recognized giggled. Lavi instantly hoped he wasn't dead, because if this was the afterlife, he would never get to make things right with Kanda. He wanted so badly to make things right with Kanda that it made his chest ache. His pride was probably the only thing that wouldn't allow him to beg the akuma to let him see the other man though.

"Nngh, what the hell?" Lavi asked, staring straight ahead at the woman standing there with a great big smirk, then glancing down at himself. It was then Lavi realized he was tied up and _that_ was why he couldn't move. "Please tell me I'm not dead and stuck with you as a punishment."

A twisted smile moved along the maid's lips as if she was trying to resist the urge to react angrily, the faint glow of red in her human shell's eyes twinkling. However, she held back and shook her head slowly. "You're alive," she reassured him. She only giggled when the redhead sighed in relief. "Did you want to die?"

"No," Lavi shot at her, glaring as his vision became more clear. "Why else would I sigh in relief? Besides, I'm wondering why the heck you haven't murdered me yet anyway. Isn't that what you akuma do? Or was I under the wrong impression this entire time?" The words were meant to mock the creature into attacking him for the sake of getting off whatever he was tied to, but the maid didn't react to them in the way Lavi hoped she would. Instead, her smile grew. "_What_?" Lavi snapped.

"So cute," she responded, the red in her eyes dissolving into a mellow color. In fact, they were staring so admiringly at Lavi suddenly that the bookman in training felt like gagging. He had originally thought this female was cute, at least until he found out what she truly was. Chomesuke had been an entirely different story altogether. "You're adorable."

Lavi momentarily wondered what the heck was happening right now, but then it hit him like a ton of bricks. Level 2 akuma could _feel_. They could feel _emotions_. Did this mean that she wasn't joking around and she'd really fallen for him? Lavi grumbled. "Look, it just won't work out. You're kind of cute and all, but you're an akuma, I'm an exorcist, it's really not a good mix." He was recalling what happened with Crowley and Eliade at this point as he spoke.

The akuma tilted her head, her smile fading a moment, but in a breath it returned full-force. "Silly, didn't you hear me before? You're just in love with the wrong person is all." Tipping her head in the other direction, she cooed, "Pretty man is supposed to be me. It's all messed up because of what I did you see. I don't really blame you for feeling that way towards him." Wait… what?

"What do you mean by what you just said?" Lavi was beginning to grow fed up of this monster already. She wouldn't get straight to the point and was babbling on and on about worthless things at a time like this! Okay, Lavi was guilty of that too, but he wouldn't do it in such serious situations.

Purring in an amused manner, the akuma walked over to Lavi and reached up to touch his face with a hand, the gentle manner showing she was well-resisting the urge to kill all humans, especially exorcists, in sight. "You're so beautiful, your hair is the color of crimson-toned blood, I adore it," she whispered, grabbing a lock of it to twiddle in her fingers while talking.

Lavi instantly jerked his head to the side, not wanting to be touched anymore right now. "Stop flirting with me and tell me what's going on!" Pissed was about the level he was at emotionally.

Laughing, the maid snatched his chin and forced him to look back at her. In turn, he glared like a crazed animal ready to rip open its prey. "Why? You flirted with me back when you first came here," she commented, all smiles.

"When we first came here," Lavi replied sharply, "I didn't know you were an akuma and you probably weren't keeping some other serious shit from me."

"Oh, so it's serious then?" Her gaze stayed focused into his, not the least bit frightened by the way he was talking or staring at her. After all, what did an akuma have to fear when an exorcist was without his or her Innocence to harm it? Nothing by that particular exorcist anyway. "My, my, I didn't realize. You seem like quite the jokester."

Lavi ground down a 'fuck you' with mental will alone, not wanting to show her it was seriously making him extremely mad. That would be giving in to her games and Lavi's pride was fighting to not allow that. Calmly he closed his eye and sighed, then flicked the emerald orb back open when he parted his lips to speak once more. "Please. I'm not joking about this," he said sternly. "Please tell me everything."

As if satisfied in herself for getting him to beg her, the maid pulled back and crossed her arms with a nod. "Alright, I guess I'll start explaining it better since you asked so politely, La." She teasingly jumped at him and poked his nose, then flicked his forehead.

"Stop that!" Lavi growled. Geez, this woman was more annoying than he'd ever been to _anyone_, which was saying a lot - on his best days, Lavi was probably a professional at being a bother. It was his playful nature he'd gained through this alias.

"Spoil sport," she muttered softly. Then, raising her hand, one finger held up, she smiled sweetly. "I promise to tell you everything if you do one thing for me first." Why in the hell would Lavi trust her? As if answering that question before it was asked, she continued. "It's nothing big. I just want you to answer a question I have for you. Can you do that?"

"Depends on the question," Lavi replied almost instantly. "But go ahead, it's not like I have anywhere to go thanks to you tying me to this…"

"Tree," she said, "I tied you to a tree. If you'd look up, you'd see that. I guess I'm just too interesting and keep your attention!" That playful laughter and tone was really starting to irk Lavi. Now he saw how everyone else felt when dealing with him. "Anyway, dear La, how long have you known that pretty man, Kanda?"

Confused as to why such a question was important to her at first, Lavi quickly came to realize why she wanted to know. That's right, she apparently 'loved' him, of course she would want to know about his and Kanda's relationship. Well, if it'd make her talk… "About three years now," Lavi answered. "I met him when I was sixteen." Ah, yes. He'd have gotten killed if it wasn't for Lenalee saving him back then. Good times, good times.

The smile didn't fade from her face. "I see," she giggled, "so you're good friends by now. Three years is a pretty long time for a human relationship with someone. Human relationships are so, so fragile after all. But ours won't be, La. It'll be strong and loving! I'll treat you so good!" Coming up really close to him, she tucked some of his bangs behind one of his ears and sighed happily.

Lavi, on the other hand, glared in disgust. "I told you it won't work out," he sharply said, growing further aggravated by how she'd promised to talk about what had been going on behind the scenes after the question but wasn't.

"Why not?" the akuma cried, suddenly having a mood swing of hurt. "Is it because we've only just met? It's not fair, just because you've known the pretty man longer doesn't mean we can't be together!"

"_That_ is not it!" Lavi snapped. "I told you before why we can't! Besides, you promised to tell me what the hell's been going on and you still haven't! Get to the point already, I'm sick of waiting and being left in the dark!"

Momentarily the akuma went silent, her eyes wide in shock of being yelled at like that, then her expression softened and she sighed wholeheartedly, the smile Lavi found annoying returning. "Okay," she said sounding serious, "but you must realize I was only stalling because I don't want to hurt you, La."

Those words scared the redhead enough that his heart began racing 200-miles-per-hour and he kept his eye focused on only the akuma - she'd gotten his rapt attention now. "When I first met you, cupid must have shot me with an arrow!" the monster chirped, sighing happily. "I never saw anyone so… so wonderful! So you must imagine, when you flirted with me, I ended up wanting more than just that…" She paused, looking away a moment, then turned back and smiled.

"And?" Lavi asked, trying to push more information out of her before she got off track again. "Then what?"

"Oh, La, you're so pushy!" Glancing back at him, she continued. "So I wondered how exactly I could get closer to you, how I could make you love me. And well, I got this dumb idea that I realize now was completely stupid… I used him," she murmured, "I used that pretty boy to try to make you come running to me."

If this woman was planning to stop now, Lavi figured he'd have to somehow get the hell off this tree - hey, he was pretty good at escaping ropes - beat the crap out of her, then hope she'd talk. If not, he'd just destroy her. No matter, his desire to know everything kicked in full-force and he pressed again, "_And_?"

"And so I used my special little ability, you see." She made a gesture with her hands at her chest and then reached them out to Lavi, brushing them over his face. When he jerked away, she frowned. "I didn't want to force you to love me," she said, "I, as a level 2, had the desires to catch your love like a human would. Naturally, not through force. But of course, the natural way people fall in love would take too long, so I put my plan into action before you'd leave."

"What do you mean? What plan?" Things were starting to make more sense now, but they were still so very clouded by confusion and un-clarity that he felt like bashing his head off the tree if he didn't get everything stripped of its secrets now. Pausing a moment first, he added, "Please tell me, I need to know the truth."

With a sigh, the akuma obliged. "Mr. Kanda doesn't really love you, I made him do fluffy things to you. I wanted you to be so hurt that he didn't actually like you you'd come running to me and I could comfort you. I wanted you to fall in love with me that way, like in a fairy tale!" Lavi's eye went wide, and before he could ask what she meant, she answered the silent question for him. "I have the ability to control a human body for a brief amount of time. Only one at a time right now, but it's very useful. After all, look what I did with the pretty man!" When she finished, she burst into a fit of laughter, probably laughing at Lavi's expression.

Kanda didn't love him? So that kiss was truly a joke? Wait, this was an akuma here, she could be lying about what she said. On the other hand, would she lie about her ability only to get Lavi to 'fall' for her? She seemed like the type considering her said plan she supposedly commenced. But then… what did this all mean?

"Hey," Lavi started, "what do you mean by telling me all that? You made him kiss me?" There was a bit of hope dwindling in his eye that she had been lying or that he was only assuming things, but there was more fear than optimism, and that fear outweighed it by far.

The laughter quickly died down and the woman looked genuinely hurt suddenly, as if she hadn't been expecting to hear that news. "He kissed you _again_?" The 'again' is what really caught Lavi's attention. "Why, that big rotten bastard! I made him do that to begin with in order to violate you and make you come running to me, and now he's supposedly in love with you too? I ought to kill him!" Fury formed in her eyes as she slammed a foot down, but Lavi didn't fret the least bit. He wanted to know what she meant.

Clearing his throat to catch her attention, he waited until she finally looked back at him. "What do you mean by _again_? As far as I know, I was only kissed once by him and that was earlier in the mansion." _Besides, the other time was when I kissed him while he was sleeping,_ Lavi recalled in thought, cheeks flushing a bit. Which was true, Lavi didn't remember any other time Kanda had actually kissed him, only how _Lavi himself _had kissed Kanda while the Asian was sleeping.

The maid looked sympathetic out of the blue, but the redhead quickly realized it was probably for the words he'd just said. Well, if she knew something he didn't, spit it out already! "Oh, La, you poor thing, now I understand how this went so wrong," she said softly, a pity-filled 'coo' to her voice. "You must have never woken up to find that man over you, and so you never knew he…" Her voice trailed out as she looked down, not finishing.

"Never knew he _what_?" Lavi gasped, exasperated. His dream that night, the maid probably wasn't aware he'd had it, and furthermore… Had it really been happening outside of the dream world too without Lavi being aware? Another blush crept onto his cheeks, but it was so faint that he didn't realize the maid probably couldn't see it, heck, he himself didn't even feel it well.

The akuma frowned and looked up at him. "Do I have to tell you? It's kind of embarrassing since I made him do it when I controlled him…" The look she got from Lavi said more than a 'yes,' so she sighed. "Well, you see, I… I…" Lavi looked ready to snap at her, so she continued hesitantly. "I… made him walk into your room late at night, stop at your bed, lean down a-and… and… _kiss_ you…" she mumbled, poking at her own lips. "I made him kiss you to make it seem like he was into you! I even had him touch your shoulders and upper arms. Happy?"

Either the truth was a total and complete shock for him or he'd finally snapped from all the suspense bottled up inside of him, but as soon as Lavi heard those words, he let loose a pure scream. "You WHAT?" he fumed, anger bellowing in his voice, a deep acid tinge to it as if he could melt the akuma by simply speaking. Yet, at the same time, agony was not far off in his tone. "You mean this entire time, all this pain and confusion I've went through, it was all because of you?" A bit of red glinted his only visible green eye, he'd never felt like such a… such a… total and complete idiot! Embarrassment, hurt, rage, all those things flooded his expression all at once.

How could this all have been just that? How could it have been a simple misunderstanding? He felt fucking feelings for Kanda he'd never felt for anyone else before, not even the most gorgeous women he'd ever met during his travels thus far. "Why?" he shouted, feeling like his heart had been wrenched out of his chest, the pain there so sharp it felt like thorns. "Yu… y-you… It was all… not even… real…?" But quickly the power faded and the former anger turned to absolute sorrow, his body shaking from the pure heartache of the news.

The akuma's frown deepened, seeming like she perhaps felt bad for having told him or maybe simply that she hadn't expected such a reaction, either way, she reached a hand over to him and slid it down his face. "There, there, La, now that you know, at least you can get over him and love me instead," she said soothingly - but Lavi didn't want her fake sympathy.

"Go to HELL!" he screamed in her face, pulling his head from her. "You basically did it in for yourself anyway! I'd never love someone so…" For a moment he paused, having a mental fight over whether or not it was a good idea to say what he was going to, but apparently the words won the fight. "…selfish, ignorant and cruel!"

The maid looked surprised, her eyes wide in disbelief, but she didn't look ready to lunge her claws into him, however, anyone in 'the business' knew that with these creatures the urge to kill would probably win over the effort it would take to forgive. They were programmed to kill after all, so Lavi expected no less than that. And because of this, a momentary panic overcame him, his entire body tensing. Wait, today? Today was the day he was going to die?

_No_, he swore to himself in his mind, trying his best to keep his wits together in one piece. _Gramps didn't train me all those years so I could die this easily. I…_ Calming himself down proved to be the best damn thing, because he recalled a trump card in situations like this. Lavi was quite the escape artist with ropes. And, judging by the sting of the bindings, this type of rope was one of the most easy to get out of. Shifting, he started the whole little process of it, trying to make as little visible movement as possible so the akuma wouldn't notice.

When he thought he'd been caught, it was only his own assumptions, because the maid looked up at him with a sad expression - though it was more like a pout if anything. "You're mad at me for what I did?" she asked, not even the slightest tinge of anger in her own voice. "I guess you have the right to be. I'm sorry, I only wanted you to love me. Please believe me." Yeah, that's great and all, but right now he was more focused on getting the hell off the tree.

"Well, if you hadn't done it the way you did and if you weren't an akuma," he muttered in an attempt to keep her distracted and carry on with what he was doing in secret, "maybe it would've worked out alright." Snap. That feel of rope breaking made him smile deep down. Finally! "But I'm afraid you blew it."

"What do you mean?" She tipped her head sadly, golden locks of hair bouncing around a little by how fast she'd done it. "Just because I'm an akuma doesn't mean anything, I won't kill you, I'll kill other people! A-and… and I meant what I said, I'm sorry! Please don't say such things, La…" Apparently her control was breaking little by little, an important factor Lavi was slightly nervous about. Where the hell was his Innocence anyway?

Glancing around, his vision set itself onto the nearby lake, spotting his metal hammer laying on the ground untouched. That was… odd. Didn't akuma usually try to take and/or destroy Innocence? So apparently this one really was in love with him, that was the only reason he could think of to why she didn't seem to care for his Innocence. In any case, this was an advantage for him he hadn't expected, a pleasant surprise.

With a shake of his head, he pulled the rope loose and slipped down the tree. "Sorry, but those are things that have to be said." After those words, he bolted toward the lake, hoping to nab his Innocence in time before the akuma could react. He'd gotten her pretty shaken up apparently, so perhaps he really had a good chance here.

A gasp slipped past the monster's lips and for a good while she didn't move, only gaping in awe. Level 2's weren't the smartest, so it was only natural for a reaction like that at first, especially if the soul in there wasn't a genius either. Of course, it was also only natural for her to realize what had happened and shift angrily into her true form - like she had just done. "La!" she roared, a gun on her 'arm' raising toward him. "I won't let you… I won't let you leave me and go to him!"

"Too bad!" Lavi retorted, snatching his Innocence off the ground just in time to expand it and block the blast. "Yu-san may not really love me, but that doesn't matter at all!" The akuma's eyes widened in shock. Lavi sighed softly. "What I feel for him is something, something that I can't just change so quickly, not even because of you telling me the supposed truth. Maybe it's stupid, maybe it was a mistake, but I don't care. It's not confusion, it's not a fantasy. What I feel for him is real, as real as the ground beneath us. And… that's way more than I'll ever feel for you!"

A scream echoed into the air of pure frustration and the akuma aimed multiple guns at him, 'tears' beginning to stream down its metallic face, actual pain in its expression. "H-how could you say that, La?" it stuttered, sobbing.

Lavi kept his hammer held up in a defensive position, glancing back and forth between the direction of the mansion and the akuma itself. "Because it's the truth. If you can't deal with it, that's your own problem." If Kanda had heard his yells earlier, he would've been out here by now. So Lavi would have to just go back and warn him himself. But first was the problem at hand…

Blocking blasts from the fires of the monster's guns, he pondered how exactly he should go about this. Well, Lavi could always just kill the thing. After all, it was only a level 2 and all by itself for the moment, and it also wasn't the only being to know the truth behind all of these weird things happening lately. But then, in that case, could he trust Kanda would tell him the truth if he told him he'd gotten rid of the cause of it all? If he'd admitted to finding out what appeared to be the truth?

There wasn't much time to ponder such things, so Lavi came to the conclusion that destroying the akuma now was the best choice. He jumped back, raised his Innocence, and the elemental signs appeared in their usual circle around him. There was a flame in his eye for a different reason altogether as he raised the weapon up over the fire seal and clashed it down, the dragon flying out at the call of his words.

However, just as it was about to swallow up the monster and devour it whole, the flames became frozen in ice and Lavi had to jump back to avoid being trapped in solid water himself. "What the hell?" he muttered to himself, looking around for whatever did that. It certainly wasn't the akuma, so then what…?

The angry roar of the maid echoed into the air sooner than he could figure it out, and before he knew it, he found himself knocked for a loop right into the cold water of the lake. Dizzy from the impact, he shook himself out of it and quickly swam to the surface before he inhaled more water into his lungs than he could handle. But, right when he reached his destination and gasped in oxygen, coughing up water in the process, the akuma appeared above him. Eye ample, Lavi couldn't even attack in time before being pushed under the water again. The only thing he'd been capable of doing before that was a scream that echoed deep into the surrounding area.

xoxoxox

Having been in the middle of meditating, Kanda's eyes snapped open, confusion clear in his expression. He hadn't heard what he thought he'd heard, right? That rabbit brat was surely just fine. But, as he was about to go back to focusing, his mind was happy to provide images of a suffering, even dead, Lavi. Normally, he wouldn't really care, but lately he felt some sort of attachment to all of those idiots, including the bookman in training. It was like he couldn't stand the thought of _not_ being harassed by Lavi. That thought horrified him.

Yet, at the same time, it _amused_ him. Maybe this whole thing hadn't been 'real,' but then, that'd be like saying it was just the same as his entire life. It was all full of illusions, nothing was ever what it seemed, nothing was ever what he dreamed. Perhaps he was just afraid this was another illusion and that it would quickly end up disappearing like everything else. Yeah, that was it, wasn't it? _That_ was why he never liked forming bonds and found that they got in the way. Nothing lasted forever except death he'd told himself over and over again.

But this time, things were different. This time there was something inside him telling him he should follow his instinct and go out there to find the redhead. Kanda was disgusted with himself for listening to it.

He jumped up from the bed and grabbed his exorcist coat, whipped it on, snatched Mugen, and rushed out through the same hidden window Lavi had exited from. Maybe Kanda would hate himself later for this, but right now he knew this feeling of, of, of… _worry_ would only distract him out of being able to do _anything_. Then, if something had happened to that stupid rabbit, he'd probably feel guilty. Kanda didn't want to feel something so idiotic over anything like this. He didn't want to feel it at all actually.

All this trip had done was amplify things Kanda didn't want to let bother him, needless to say feel to begin with. He hated it, it was like a never-ending mission of pure hell to him. And now, there he was, running to rescue the 'damsel in distress' that probably didn't even need his help. And that very 'damsel' was stuck in his mind, his face breaking every bit of Kanda's concentration.

But Lavi was no damsel, he was a man and a man that Kanda found himself, much to his dismay, _enthralled_ with. It made him angry, but at the same time, he found himself not really caring. There was the big part of him that said to screw it all, but there was also the little part that had ended up confused then eventually love-stricken, that beat the hell out of that huge part.

In fact, it was that same little part that made the Japanese want to reach out and stroke the redhead's cheek just to see his surprised reaction (Kanda found himself liking that look on the other's face more than usual), the same little part that made him want to let the other lay on him as long as he wanted, the very same little part that made him want to tell Lavi _everything_. He _hated_ that part of him!

He hated how it made him long to actually talk with him, stay with him, hold him, kiss him, even… more. It disgusted him, it annoyed him, it pissed him off, it… it… it made him want to have the stupid rabbit following him around as long as Lavi wanted, annoying the hell out of him until the end of time if that was what Lavi desired. And, quite frankly, Kanda found that little part of him was completely unbothered by the thought.

A curse aloud ended his mental battle as he stopped in his tracks, surrounded by the trees of the forest. Damn, where was Lavi? How would he ever find him in all this? Then it hit him. When he'd heard that faint sound of a scream, there had been another noise his sharp ears had picked up. Something hitting water.

"Fuck, where's there another stupid lake around here?" Kanda paused again, glancing through the thick brush. Thinking back to when they'd all first come down the pathway to this mansion, he recalled seeing a small lake, too big to be a pond towards a certain direction. He hadn't said anything about it and ignored it because at the time no one was worried about water or anything.

Without giving it another moment of thought, the Japanese bolted off down the path until spotting the glimmering of light hitting water and he instantly sped off the pathway and into the dense woods. Maybe he usually wouldn't care about Lavi, but again, that guilt, he didn't want to feel that. Such a feeling wasn't in his brain to begin with! So he forced himself to keep going until he had to literally skid to a stop in order to prevent himself from going flying into the lake.

Was this it? His dark eyes scanned the area until spotting a familiar scarf floating above the water's surface. "Fucking idiot," he growled, ripping off his exorcist coat and tossing it aside before diving into the water with his precious Innocence. The water was freezing, and considering the time of the year, it was perfectly logical for it to be this cold. However, Kanda was used to such conditions and knew enough to get the hell out of it asap.

God, this stupid rabbit was such a pain in the ass! What had he been thinking? Had he been trying to kill himself or was he just stupid enough to recklessly put down his defenses and let himself be knocked into the water? Whatever the reason, it didn't matter, as soon as Kanda saw him, he hauled the other exorcist to the surface and flopped him onto dry land. With a swift smack to the other's chest, he sighed in relief when the younger coughed up water and seemed to regain consciousness.

"Nngh, uhn," the redhead muttered, coughing a couple more times before his eye wearily opened to find the Asian hovering over him. He chuckled and smiled. "Ah, Yu… Y-you're really here?" His voice was hoarse and quiet, but he was understandable. "Don't y'know you're s-s-supposed to do that more gently and not just h-hit the person? 'Cause damn, I'm pretty s-sure y'hit me…"

"Shut up," the older grumbled. He could feel the ice-cold wind hit his wet skin and make it that much worse, but he knew it was probably harsher for Lavi so he didn't complain. It wasn't like him to complain about being cold anyway. "You could've died, you idiot. Do you have any idea how much of a burden you've been on me this entire mission?" Kanda meant those words wholeheartedly and for an entirely different reason than he usually would.

Lavi was quiet a bit, pondering the thought through his water-clogged brain, then grinned. "Nope. B-but hey, we'll get hypothermia if w-we stay out here like this. Aren't you g-going to do something?" He was shivering like crazy and it didn't look like he was capable of moving well on his own, having been under the water as long as he had. His normally bright and beautiful green eye looked dim and lifeless, which made something writhe inside of Kanda's chest.

"Yu?" It was only the other's voice that kept him from gazing off into thought, wondering what the hell was happening to him right now. "You okay…? I-I'm really cold, s-so if you don't mind…"

"Oh." Shifting, the older exorcist started undoing the redhead's coat, being careful not to end up getting too rough like he usually would. "My coat's dry, I'll let you borrow it." He expected a sly reply to that comment, but he got none. Glancing down at the other's face, he sighed. "You fell asleep? Idiot. What if you have a concussion and then I'll responsible for… oh, what the hell ever."

Taking care of what needed to be taken care of, he did his best to change off the other's jacket with his own then hauled the wet clothes around his belt. They may have been heavy, but he needed a way to carry those back as well so they'd eventually dry out. Besides, since when did something being heavy bother the inhumanly strong exorcist? Never.

Slipping Mugen safely into a sheath hanging down over his chest instead, he slipped his arms under the younger exorcist and pulled him up onto his back, not caring that wet locks of red hair were brushing against the back of his already soaked neck, tickling it just enough to aggravate him. However, he kept that non-caring demeanor and ignored the light touches as best he could - which was saying a lot for Kanda - and trudged back to the disarrayed old mansion.

His dark eyes examined the area one last time as he made his way out of it, double checking he'd still had Lavi's Innocence he'd found clenched tightly in the other's hand despite how the redhead had passed out underwater. Kanda was slightly impressed by that fact even if he was annoyed by how easily Lavi let himself be distracted from the looks of things. At least the rabbit had some pretty strong willpower. But then… this brought up something curious. If Lavi had been knocked into the water, what did it? Had it been an akuma?

This thought caused Kanda to stop short at the edge of the forest, turning to look back at the lake area one last time, his extremely dark bluish green eyes glancing around as sharply as ever. There were ropes by a particular tree, scuff marks in the dirt from more than him, even what appeared to be large bullet holes in bits of the ground. There had definitely been a struggle here, but whatever had attacked Lavi was clearly gone now.

Kanda cursed mentally when he began to put the pieces together. "That bitch," he spat out, some of his bangs falling into his eyes. "Next time I see her, she's dead. I don't care anymore about what she said!" A kick to the dirt and another swear later and he was on his way again.


	10. Snowflake

SS: Ha, ha, ha! Victory! -pumps fist into the air- I managed to finish this chapter in fifteen days. And here I thought my lack of time would ruin any hopes of finishing this fic quicker… I guess optimism is better after all, hmm?

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

--

**Chapter 10 Snowflake**

Kanda wasn't going to make this a habit, that was for sure. At least, he hoped it was for sure. He sat on the edge of the creaking old bed, long hair still dripping water onto the floor despite how he'd wrung it out. Tap, tap, tap. Each drop seemed to make him edgier and edgier. Moreover, he was nervous as hell right now for some reason he couldn't make out. Dark eyes drifted over his own shoulder a moment, staring at the other man sprawled out on the bed.

Lavi was still unconscious, body lightly trembling even with the warmth of sheets draped over it. His red hair was a lot shorter than Kanda's, but it _was_ pretty thick, so it was also still wet. His breathing was fairly normal again, though the husky gasps here and there in the other's sleep told Kanda the younger man's throat and lungs were still suffering from Lavi having been trapped under the cold water as long as he had.

Was Kanda worried? No, was what he told himself, but that little part of him that made him go out there in the first place was once again overpowering his emotions. He hated it so bad! Though, at the same time, it wasn't really so bad. Maybe, just maybe, feeling this way wasn't so…

"Fuck!" Kanda cursed under his breath, angry at himself for almost giving in again. That little part of him made him feel so good thinking he'd gone and saved Lavi's life. Then there was the dreadful thought of the other possibly dying making his chest hurt. Kanda wished both of the things would fade away already due to their distracting nature. How could they possibly finish the mission if he was this badly distracted? And if Lavi was this hurt? He couldn't just leave him…

Momentarily the Asian wondered how exactly he should greet Lavi when the other woke up, this sudden thought coming to mind due to all the distractions. Should he just out and say he saved the idiot because he was in the way? Or would it be better to finally be forward with the truth? After all, that witch akuma had been the one to do that to Lavi, there was the possibility she'd told him.

"But he wouldn't believe her probably." Kanda's words were soft and muttered, and he seriously thought for a while that whatever the maid had told Lavi the redhead most definitely didn't believe. An akuma was an akuma, they lied a lot. But then doubt came, crashing over Kanda's already screwed up mind with a force so great he felt he'd bleed out his very ears.

But what if Lavi _did_ believe her? What then? Certainly Kanda couldn't keep lying to Lavi or trying to cover up everything that happened behind the scenes. He could always tell Lavi she was bullshitting, but then, could he really keep this charade up forever? Lies weren't Kanda's style, he preferred being straightforward, even if it meant hurting someone. After all, why should he care about someone else's feelings? But in this case…

The truth was a wrecking ball waiting to tear up both of their worlds completely. Judging by all of Lavi's reactions to the things that had been happening with the two, he assumed the other man wouldn't really mind the actual facts, but there was always that annoying feeling Kanda now hated that stuck around in the Asian's chest. The feeling of guilt. Seldom he ever got that emotion, so when it came through his chest and made it hurt even, he was left confused. Then his confusion was converted into anger. It was the same thing over and over.

Beginning to wonder what exactly he should do, the older turned on the bed and took a deep breath to calm himself. Maybe since Kanda knew Lavi was here with him now, _safe_, he could get back to meditating. There wasn't any guarantee he'd be able to focus or the like, but it was worth a try so he didn't knock down the whole mansion out of frustration like Lavi'd almost done.

Though, actually, Kanda wasn't so innocent in that department… When Kanda had brought Lavi all the way back here, he'd gotten so aggravated with not knowing which way he should go back into the mansion, that he'd gone and kicked down a random door on the outside of the building that happened to knock over yet _another_ cabinet in 'that' room. It led right inside. Pure luck he hadn't destroyed the entire building with how hard he'd kicked.

Of course, 'that' room, being the strangest room in the house, was the very room that flared off a romantic aura, a calm, soothing, wonderful atmosphere. Plus, despite how the door had felt freezing, the entire room was a more comfortable temperature now. Kanda couldn't sort that out in his head properly so he didn't bother trying. Lavi was the bookworm and would know more about sciency things, not him. Kanda wasn't the one who excelled in academics either.

At any rate, the fact that he'd been lucky enough to find an easy way back into this particular room served as a great help. It was far more relaxing in this place than any other part of the house. And, quite frankly, Kanda still wasn't about to leave Lavi in here all alone with how careless the other had been.

With how quiet things were, he finally managed to focus enough to get back into meditation without the worry of Lavi on his mind completely haunting him. Allen, wherever he was, was probably just fine -- not that Kanda would be worried about him too. That sprout didn't _need_ his worry anyway with how strong he was, and aside from that…

"Yu…" Kanda's breath halted entirely for ten seconds straight, then all of it came gushing out in a big flood of air. He couldn't move, discovering that it wasn't anything physical stopping him, but the very things called emotions doing so. His voice choked up in his throat, something that _never_ happened to him and he had no idea what to say or do. Lavi was awake?

"Oh… God, Yu…" The other's voice was still hoarse, but it sounded a little better than it had when they'd been outside. At least now it didn't sound like he was dying. However, there was something strange, something Kanda didn't really understand. If Lavi was awake, why did it sound like there was agony in his voice, as if he were _mourning_ for Kanda? "No… Why…?"

Bluish black eyes shot at the person laying on the bed. Lavi's eye was closed, he was still shivering (more-so actually), and small gasps and other noises were slipping past his lips. At first Kanda got the wrong idea -- he cursed multiple times and looked away with his cheeks tinged lightly in pink. He couldn't stand how this rabbit made him, of all people, blush. Aside from that, Kanda recalled being entirely asexual before this whole situation…

He slowly glanced back at the redhead, clearing his mind of all the perverse things that he didn't want in there -- the world would end when Yu Kanda became a pervert -- and he focused his attention on the other's face. Lavi looked like he was having a horrible dream, even doing so much as tossing his head side to side every so often. His face looked miserable, the noises coming from his mouth sounded pained, and his body's trembling appeared to be from more than just being cold. It was more than obvious what the dream was about as Lavi murmured soft words more.

"Yu… I'm sorry… Please… you can't… be…" Instinctively Kanda wanted to leave the room so he didn't have to hear anymore, the big part of him annoyed, but he stayed anyway, the small part having yet another victory due to feeling bad. He listened carefully so he could hear every last word of what the younger was saying. "Why… did the tattoo… get so… You look all shriveled… like… a dead flower… Why did you… save… me… why…"

It really sounded like one of those crappy situations when someone had saved another person risking their own life in the process, so Kanda assumed it was just that. Despite how he knew he wasn't _that_ bad off yet, he ended up confused. He had to move his shirt aside to glance at the tattoo beneath on his skin, the black markings now trailing down his arm even. Certainly one more serious injury wouldn't be what killed him, would it? His wounded wrist, despite being small damage, had made his chest sting with pain as it healed. To add to it, it'd taken longer to heal than anything in the past.

Thoughts of worry raced through his mind, the fear of dying before ever achieving his goal causing them. But quickly they faded, Kanda's natural attitude towards things dissolving them for now. Besides, he had to focus on the other exorcist. If Lavi were to keep having this dream, it would be troublesome for the both of them, so Kanda shifted on the mattress and gripped the slightly taller one's shoulders, shaking him hard.

At first Lavi's nightmare seemed to worsen, his expression growing absolutely wrenched, and this made Kanda growl in aggravation. He decided quickly that due to what Lavi was dreaming, his own voice might help. "Lavi!" the brunet yelled. "Wake up, you stupid rabbit, you're dreaming! Lavi!" With a swift slap to the other's cheek, a single green hue shot open and the bookman whimpered in pain.

"W-what the… ow! Y-Yu…?" His voice sounded better lively now, less pained and more surprised than anything. "Why'd you do that? That hurt and… ow, my throat hurts. My head hurts too, my feet even hurt, my everything hurts!"

"Shut the hell up!" Kanda wished the relief he was feeling would go away and drown in that ice-cold lake back outside, but the emotion stayed there strong. He turned in a different direction and crossed his arms and legs, huffing in annoyance. "If you'd stop your complaining, maybe your throat, for example, wouldn't hurt as much! So quit wasting your breath because it's pissing me off!"

Even with the trauma of what Lavi'd been through, he grinned, the smile only coming after a small moment of silence simply spent staring at Kanda. "Was it you?" the redhead asked, tone sounding sentimental. The very tone sent an arrow through the Asian's chest and he had to keep turned away.

"What do you mean?" The question came shortly after. Kanda's head tipped a bit to the side as if he were pondering the words. This was something Lavi wasn't used to seeing, Kanda looking like he'd been seriously affected by Lavi's words in a way other than anger, but because of how much the sight amused him, the redhead didn't bother making a comment about it in fear of ruining it.

"How I got here, I mean," Lavi said, pushing himself up to sit. His arms were shaking and he felt weak in general from being under the water as long as he had, he was even surprised to be alive or at the very least not extremely sick. However, he did have a very bad chill, and it made him involuntarily pull the sheets up over his shoulders. "You came and saved me, didn't you? You didn't have to. You, of all people, aren't the hero type, even I know that."

For a while Kanda simply stayed the way he was, briefly muttering to himself, then he gave a sigh that sounded… strange. Strange for Kanda anyway. "I couldn't just leave you to die, Komui would be pissed and you know how Lenalee would react. Even the sprout would definitely bother me about it and I really don't want to hear his complaints." Somehow Lavi got the feeling Kanda wasn't telling him the whole truth.

The older of the two slipped his crossed legs so they were both undone and laying over the side of the bed normally, and then he leaned forward a bit. His hair slid over to cover most of his face, making it impossible to see from the side for sure. "Anyway, what the hell happened back there? How'd you get into that lake? An akuma, right? Why did you be so careless as to let your guard down?"

A deep frown stuck itself on Lavi's pale from the cold face. His only visible eye filled with something halfway between anger and pure discomfort. When he opened his mouth to say something, he paused first, closed it, looked down, then opened it again to speak. "I, uh… I was distracted over… well… It's embarrassing, do I have to admit to it?" Kanda would probably laugh at him and call him a gullible idiot if Lavi told him the reason he'd let his guard down was because he was distracted over that very Japanese and the supposed truth.

Kanda looked impatient when he finally glanced over his shoulder at Lavi. "It's not like I'll beat you until you bleed if you tell me." Yet his voice sounded, if possible, slightly shaky too. Shaky as if he were nervous. That alone caused Lavi to hesitate more. If Kanda was nervous, that made two of them.

Lavi quickly thought of a way to change the subject since he couldn't bring himself to admit what he was going to. "Uh, um, the hell? How'd you get in here again anyway? Whoa! You broke another cabinet?! I feel lucky to be alive right now!" Probably not the best way to get the topic changed, but he'd done it. At least, that's what he thought.

"Oh, shut the hell up!" Kanda snapped. "You were dying as is, I wasn't really concerned about the house's well-being." It looked like Kanda felt a little uncomfortable admitting to that, because it completely wasn't his style, but he didn't bother getting super angry in an attempt to mask it like usual. Instead, he explained. "I noticed a random door close by on my way here while I was carrying you on my back, so I kicked it in. I didn't realize it was a door to this room and didn't care. You were freezing and I didn't want to be burdened with your sick or dead ass, and so I just went with it."

A small blush shrouded Lavi's cheeks, and perhaps because of how pale he was at that moment, it was brilliantly more obvious than it'd usually be. Kanda carried him here on his back? Oh, God, why was Lavi getting horribly dirty images at something so stupid as that?! It embarrassed him all the more, causing, much to his dismay, the blush to grow darker.

Across the way, Kanda quirked a brow and peeked through his hair at the slightly panicking redhead. It probably amused him because he smirked. "I don't even want to know what you're thinking, you fucking disgusting rabbit."

"Y-you're looking at me like that and then say such a thing!" Lavi growled, his throat stinging from yelling too much. He hated himself for letting Kanda see the color of his cheeks, but he didn't let it bother himself for too long. "Anyway… I should get back out there… show you where the akuma is… or well, I don't know anymore, but… I think Allen'll need our help--"

"If it's just a level 2 like I suspect, the sprout can handle it on his own," Kanda retorted, surprising Lavi enough that the younger man's eye went wide and he sat there in silence. The Asian seemed satisfied with Lavi's non-reply and nodded a bit. "Good, now stay quiet like that and rest your annoying voice. I don't want to hear anymore complaints later about a sore throat because then I'll just tell you it's your own damn fault for straining it more." Either this was Kanda caring or Lavi was going crazy.

Still, despite his rather pleasant surprise over Kanda's concern for him, the worry of the akuma started rushing through his mind. Where there was one akuma, there was bound to be more. What if a level 3 showed up? Even a level 4? Could Allen, in his current state from all the trauma these past months, survive it on his own, needless to say handle it? Panic rushed through Lavi's already bothered chest and he tried to get up, only falling back down onto the bed in the process. But, not one to give up, he tried again. This time he fell forward, a sharp pain shooting up his leg from one of his ankles.

Kanda was quick with his reflexes as always and jumped to catch the other boy, leaning back onto the bed as soon as he had, a scowl having already shifted across his features. His dark eyes looked angry for entirely different reasons. "What the hell are you trying to do, idiot? You're in no condition to get up, let alone fight akuma. Rest. It's obvious you strained your ankle again too. God, you're a fucking pain in the ass really."

Lavi felt more heat in his cheeks as he leaned against the older man's body, long arms scrunched up against the Japanese's muscular yet slender body. "Yu, what about your wrist?" The reminder of his own wounded ankle brought back memories of Kanda's own injury. He became worried about something other than the akuma now.

A sigh slipped past the other exorcist's lips and he lightly bonked Lavi on the head with his left hand purposely to emphasize a point, just the fact that he'd hit Lavi so lightly shocking the mongrel for the millionth time. "Did you forget my ability? To heal? I'm completely fine. You, on the other hand, are definitely not. Stop worrying about everything else and focus on yourself. You suck as an exorcist _and_ a bookman. Geez." While saying all this, Kanda slowly moved Lavi onto the bed again and tucked him back in neatly.

Lavi felt more embarrassed than ever at this point. He laid there with a sour look on his face, staring off at a wall. Having Kanda do all these things for him and even catch the bookman off guard enough to make him blush multiple times in a row was so… And there, he'd just done it again. A cold hand slid across his forehead, causing Lavi to flinch.

A grumble echoed into the small room. "You have a fever, a small one, but I'm not letting you get in the way by trying to fight." It only took Lavi a couple more seconds to realize it was Kanda's hand there, the light calluses on the other's skin making Kanda feel more human than he acted or looked most of the time. Add in the way he'd been acting in this room and he seemed pretty damn mortal.

But speaking of mortal and such, Kanda's whole healing ability apparently worked, which was a real big relief, but then, was he alright? The last time Lavi recalled him being in severe pain as it healed. And also, why had it taken so long for the effect to kick him for such a small wound? Recalling Kanda's previous words, Lavi sighed and sank under the covers more. He couldn't help but be worried. In the end he was just as human as Allen, Lenalee, and most of the Order.

Seeming to sense this, Kanda opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out at first. It appeared he was thinking over what he was going to say so he didn't say something mean. How commendable of him. "Look, uh, just try to rest or something. You're going to stress yourself out like Lenalee always does. That girl cares too much about everyone else." Kanda probably had the right to say such words, after all, he'd known Lenalee longer than most of the exorcists in the Black Order. But then Lavi had to wonder why Kanda was being nice to _him_. He could understand Lenalee, but Lavi himself?

Perhaps the entire mission had effected the other exorcist in more ways than visible. Maybe this meant Kanda would be this way even after they'd gone back 'home'? Presumptuous of Lavi to think such things, but it was a nice thought to have a kinder Kanda to bother. Wait, the Order… Innocence…

Suddenly it hit the redhead like an electric shock and he sprung up to sit, only slipping back down to his elbows. "Yu! The Innocence is here!" he shouted, surprising Kanda enough that the older exorcist reflexively grabbed his sword's handle.

Quickly though, Kanda recovered. "What the hell, Lavi?" Kanda glared at him sharply and slowly moved his hand away, sitting back down on the bed, shoulders relaxing.

Frustrated by his predicament, Lavi used one elbow for support and the other arm to point towards a stand nearby where many antiques rested. Most of the things around the room were tipped over and such, but amazingly nothing, less the couple cabinets and whatever was inside them, was really broken. The particular stand Lavi found himself pointing to had a bunch of different things on it, including a few jewelry boxes, but he couldn't quite figure why that one in particular had been the one he'd randomly picked.

He ended up trusting his own instincts though and kept pointing to it, staring at the little wooden holders. "Yu, God, the Innocence, I swear. I swear it's there for some reason. I dunno why, but I can _feel_ it. I had this weird dream… a-and there was a little girl. There was a music box. And, uh, the Innocence! It's there, please, um… please just look for me?" A pleading expression ended those words as Lavi stared into Kanda's disbelieving eyes.

The Asian grunted and glanced toward where the younger's hand was pointing, then placed a hand on the bed, getting ready to get up. "You're sure about this? Not that I believe you based off a stupid dream, but… I'll get it for you if you'll stop straining yourself and making my job harder than it already is." Lavi quickly nodded in agreement and that was all it took for Kanda to push himself up and wander over to the stand.

Kanda returned to the bed after grabbing a hold of the three boxes that were on the piece of furniture, then rested them on the mattress. Lavi waited anxiously as Kanda opened the first one. Empty. "Let me try one, Yu," Lavi insisted, reaching his hands out. Kanda gave him a look of annoyance, because certainly he was capable of doing this himself, but handed over one of the other boxes anyway.

All three boxes were different than the one in his dream had been. Lavi began to doubt his instincts then, so when he opened up the biggest one that Kanda had handed him, he was in awe to find a small six by four by three inch box stuffed inside, an intricate rose design carved into the top of it. His eye grew wide as he pulled it out and tossed the bigger box aside. "No way, this is the same one from my dream… So then…" As he lifted the top gently, music began to play, softly and sweetly, as a small crank on the bottom of the box turned.

This had caught Kanda's attention, who set yet another empty box down and peered over at the music box in Lavi's hands. The same figure of two cats had popped up and started spinning around in a circle, much to Lavi's amazement. He couldn't remember the last time this happened with one of his dreams.

The only difference this time was… "I'd forgotten in my dream, but now I remember it. This melody's called 'Traveler's Lullaby,' it's extremely old. They don't even know who originally wrote it, but… It's what nomads would sing along the road." Lavi could recall many times when Bookman and himself had been traveling and heard mothers on board their hitchhiking rides humming the tune to their children. It was calm, soothing, _beautiful_. The tune itself was similar to the 1864 American song 'Beautiful Dreamer,' but definitely not the same.

Kanda tipped his head curiously. He reached forward and went to close it, but Lavi stopped him by slapping his hand away. "What does this all have to do with Innocence, rabbit?" The question came out in an impatient tone, but Lavi could tell Kanda was really trying to hold himself back. Truly, he was grateful.

"In my dream, it was in here… _ah_!" Lavi pulled his fingers back quickly, slightly cringing. A small bit of blood trickled down his pointer finger on his hand and Kanda stared in confusion. "Something sharp…" Lavi tried again, reaching inside the music box and this time gently pulling out a snowflake-shaped pendent. "It's cold…"

"And you expect me to believe that _that_ is the Innocence?" Kanda asked, skeptical. When Lavi nodded in response, Kanda rolled his eyes. "Okay, then tell me, why is it not in its original form? If it's like this, that would mean its accommodator is here with us, right? Then where are they?"

Lavi slowly closed the music box, the melody being half-way interrupted as he did so, and he gently placed the box down, examining the beautiful charm in his other hand. "I don't know, but in my dream there was a little girl, Timothy's age maybe… I wonder if she was the one." As Lavi raised it up, the cold metallic material against his fingertips, it twinkled brilliantly in the dim candle light of the room. It was gorgeous, like a crystal or diamond, sparkling in a way that it'd mesmerize any mortal.

This had to be Innocence, there was just no way it couldn't be. It was emitting its own freezing aura into the air, possibly the reason the entire room's walls and doors had been glazed over in cold. It all made sense now almost in an instant.

Kanda crossed his arms and turned away, muttering to himself about how stupid this all was. However suspicious this seemed, Lavi didn't make a single comment on it, more focused, _hypnotized_ even, on the pendant in his hand. Perhaps this little anti-akuma weapon was the reason the blasted akuma was really here. Maybe it'd all been a lie about her loving him, or perhaps the Innocence itself made the akuma think it did. Either way, it felt like it had some sort of pull to it.

Something else clicked inside Lavi's mind just then as he recalled the reason he'd been distracted enough to get knocked into the lake. Ice… Something had frozen his dragon of fire in mid-air! It was very possible this very piece of 'jewelry' he was holding in his hand was responsible. It would make sense -- a snowflake pendant that had the ability to freeze things into ice, an interesting Innocence for sure.

"I don't get why you're still in denial about this being Innocence," Lavi commented to break the silence that had befallen onto them. "Something froze my fire seal's attack into ice back out there, and that's why I ended up getting knocked into the water. I was distracted by _that_. Don't you think there's a high possibility this is what caused it?"

Kanda 'tch'd' and glanced back at his comrade. "Oh, yes? And why would another exorcist stop your attack? If one sided with the Earl, logically their Innocence would betray them. It makes no sense." Lavi couldn't remember Kanda being the rational type, but to which their own in this case it seemed.

Lavi, however, had his own theory in mind now that things started to make more sense. "But Yu, what if they _aren't_ sided with the Earl? What if that akuma is someone important to them and they were only protecting them? Think about it. There was a little girl in my dream, for Pete's sake! And remember what Allen and I told you about Crowley and Eliade?" Which was true. There was definitely a high possibility of this. Someone who had no idea about the Order and all that was _innocent_.

Much to Lavi's dismay, the other exorcist was still not buying into it and only shook his head. He pushed himself onto the bed a little more and began fiddling with Mugen, not making another comment on the matter. Apparently Kanda wasn't going to change his mind so easily about it all simply because of Lavi's dream.

A momentary pout struck across the redhead's lips, but it quickly faded as he watched the older man. He genuinely wondered why and how Kanda was doing such a good job of holding himself back from taking a fit right now. Could all of that meditation have come in handy or was something else at work here? Certainly one could call this a 'miracle.'

"Um… Yu…" Without his own realization, Lavi had called out to the older exorcist in a gentle tone, his green hue glinting in the dull glow of candles. Suddenly his mind was swept away from the worry of the Innocence and everything else, to the very man in this room with him. "Yu, I… why do you have to be so cold? You… I just…"

Kanda didn't respond, simply running his fingers over the sheath of his dear Mugen, his dark hues almost pitch black with what little light there was in the room, completely blank of emotion. At night his eyes always looked like they could blend with the very blue sky outside, the stars similar to the light twinkle of white in them every so often when he moved just the right way. It told Lavi he was thinking to himself, too caught up in his thoughts to be bothered by anything else.

Despite how Lavi was aware of this, he didn't want to just leave things as they were and complete the mission. He still _felt_ something for Kanda. He may have been unsure of _what_ exactly, but he knew something was definitely _there_. Deep within the beating chambers of Lavi's heart was a muffled pain, quiet but apparent, showing on his expression as he recalled it.

Shaking from more than the chill he had, he shifted the pendant down to his lap, holding it in his hands that were now resting there. He stared at it, trying to ponder what to do next, but nothing in particular came to mind. But, because he couldn't just leave this as it was, he looked back up at Kanda, lips parting. "Yu… you kissed me…" The words were gentle, vulnerable, _aggrieved_, and Lavi felt completely unable to hide the ache he was feeling in his voice. "Why?"

Maybe Kanda wouldn't respond, maybe this whole mess was completely Lavi's own fault in the end, maybe they'd have to stay this way, confused, or worse… what if this drove them to the point where they both failed at their innermost desires? It was certainly distracting enough, doing so much as to make Lavi incapable of hiding his true feelings and detaching himself from caring like he'd been trained so many times to do. Kanda too even, he'd acted so strange this entire time.

The single grass-green eye Lavi didn't have covered up moved from the wall, to random cabinets, to Kanda again, then back to the snowy pendant sitting in his lap. He secretly wished he could experience this feeling of attachment more, that it wouldn't ruin everything for the both of them. Alas, with how badly it put their minds on another planet to the point where neither could concentrate good enough, well… things weren't looking so bright in that department.

As his heart beat hard in his chest -- _thump_, _thump_, _thump_ -- he prayed something would happen to just break the tense air between the two. The pressure of everything was rapping at his mind, making the paranoia grow ever so large into the already awful aura. Lavi began to think stupid things, at least, stupider than he'd already been thinking.

But then, what was this? A shred of hope perhaps. Was it possible? Oh yes, yes it was. Even the frightening and dark exorcist sitting across from him had a bit of a heart it seemed. Kanda was staring at him, just _staring_, bangs making his eyes look edgy and thoughtful.

Lavi's voice died and he couldn't speak when his vision met with the other's, something familiar yet foreign shining in both their striking sights. If he could say something right then, anything, he'd probably comment on just how handsome Kanda looked in the dim light of the room, like a gorgeous, forbidding model awaiting someone to paint their picture in an attempt to even match up to _half_ of their ominous beauty.

And maybe Kanda too was staring back at him in the same way, unable to process the correct words to say. He hadn't ever been good with words to begin with, so there was no doubt in Lavi's mind that the Asian wouldn't have a clue what to utter either.

Lavi wasn't quite sure what triggered it, their stares perhaps, or maybe the dreaded silence, but he quickly found himself pushed down, pinned to the bed by his hands being pressed above his head and the weight of the lighter man over him. An aggressive look showed itself on Kanda's face, like an animal in the wild claiming prey or a mate, and Lavi lost his breath briefly.

_So manly_, he thought in eagerness, driven mad by the fact he enjoyed it. Despite Kanda's long hair and pretty face, he always acted and made himself appear more sexy and masculine than anyone else Lavi could think of at the Order aside from Allen and Cross. He was _hot_, period.

He meant to ask what Kanda was doing, but the older of the two wouldn't let him speak, instead Kanda spoke first. "You think I'm _that_ mean… _Lavi_?" The way the other said his name sent chills right down his spine as he stared back up into that demonically attractive face. He couldn't respond, he couldn't say a word, he just froze up altogether. "_Well_?" Kanda pressed.

"I, uh. You… I, um, uh. Well…" Lavi'd managed to speak, but the words only came out in a babble. He felt nervous, but he could tell instantly he wasn't the only one. Kanda's face was showing something Lavi'd yet again never seen before on it. Anxiety. Without trying to speak again, Lavi simply nodded.

A soft 'che' slipped past Kanda's lips as the older of the two looked away briefly, eyes reflecting the dull twinkle of the candles around them. Then, turning his head back, he took a moment to simply stare down Lavi. It was like he was taking in the image beneath his own body, taking in the way Lavi looked right then for whatever reasons. It was still as hard as ever to read Kanda well, so one couldn't be entirely sure what he was thinking as he looked down.

What he did next startled Lavi enough that the redhead actually gasped and flinched. He'd leaned his head down, hovering it right by one of Lavi's ears, breathing hitting the external of it. He was so close that both of their chests were practically touching and they could almost hear each other's heartbeats. Lavi swore he wasn't the only one with a faint pink tint over his cheeks.

"I'm going to show you something," Kanda began, some of his hair falling over Lavi's body. Lavi suddenly felt far more nervous than before, his heart racing. Kanda paused a little while, as if thinking of what exactly to say next, then let out a soft 'hah' before finally continuing. "You had better not forget it, rabbit brat."


	11. His Heart

SS: Gee, inspiration is sure lacking lately. -face/palm- Oh, and this chapter contains non-detailed, but nevertheless, M-rated yaoi. Ye be warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

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**Chapter 11 His Heart**

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Lavi had to make sure he hadn't been hearing things as his single visible eye stared up into the older man's eyes, anxiety flooding his features. His heart felt ready to explode, his mind spinning in more circles than ever before. Kanda _couldn't_ have just said that, Kanda _couldn't_ be doing this, this _couldn't_ be what it was. "Yu… what do you mean?" But it was.

"Che. I mean exactly what it sounds like," the Asian muttered, staring back down with a wicked gleam sparkling like the snowflake Innocence in his eyes. He slowly moved an arm, fingers pressing against the younger's side through the sheets, then trailed his hand, starting at Lavi's hip, up, and paused at the other's chest area. "If you forget this, I'll kill you, I swear to God."

Confusion made its way onto the redhead's features for the millionth time through-out this mission, this time probably worse than ever. What in the world? This couldn't be what he was thinking! He just had a dirty mind was all! Yeah, that's right. Kanda was a male too, but he couldn't care less about such things, and no matter how many times Lavi thought this was about to happen, it hadn't, so there was no need for false hope. "U-uh… sure. I won't, promise," he said simply for the sake of it.

A deviant smirk prickled across Kanda's cheeks and he leaned his face down so close to Lavi's that they could kiss if he moved just an inch more. The bookman gasped and Kanda seemed pretty satisfied with that response because his grin grew. "Well, well, what's wrong? Aren't you usually so bold and horny? Why suddenly so shy? Oh and, what happened to Mr. Blabbermouth himself? Or is your throat too sore?" All those questions and Lavi didn't even have a single answer for them. At least, his brain wouldn't allow one.

"I, uh… um…" Oh, God… Kanda was too close, _way_ too close. Lavi was more than merely tempted to close the small gap between them and kiss those soft, warm lips again, even with knowing Kanda was awake this time. Which reminded him. "Yu, there's… there is something I need to tell you…"

Kanda pulled back a bit, tipping his head up a little while still staring. The inquiring expression on his face was mixed with impatience. There was the Kanda he knew and 'loved.' "Oh? And what's that?" While questioning him, the older of the two leaned backwards even more, much to Lavi's dismay. Come back his way, damn it!

"Well, you see… I know you're going to be really mad, but… I…" His hoarse voice reflected how anxious he was about admitting to this, knowing he was, more or less, going to be beaten for it. "When you were sleeping, I…"

"I know you kissed me, idiot," Kanda grumbled, rolling his eyes as if he'd known all along. Lavi's mouth dropped open in a gape, eye going wide. He knew…? He knew? But how could he possibly have known? He'd been sleeping when Lavi'd done it, so there was no way he could know!

Swallowing to keep his throat from going dry, he looked to the side a bit then back at the other man. He hadn't heard things, had he? "But how? You were sleeping-"

"_Pretending_ to sleep," Kanda retorted. "I'd been watching you, but when I saw you stir, I couldn't let you know what I'd been doing. You'd have never let me hear the end of it." He paused, closing his eyes to think a moment, then sighed. "I didn't tell you even after I kissed you because I didn't think it necessary."

A blush of pure embarrassment and anger mixed on Lavi's face and he crossed his arms, huffing softly. Well, gee, good to know Kanda was dishonest about something like that too! At least he told him eventually though. "First of all, I wouldn't harass you about that. Second of all, I… well. I admit it'd usually make me feel a bit uncomfortable knowing someone was watching me sleeping, but… knowing it was you, I, err, I guess what I'm trying to say is… It's not so bad finding out it was you."

Maybe it was just Lavi, but after he had said those words, Kanda seemed to attempt to hide his face. The older of the two cleared his throat and twisted on the bed, looking ready to get up and leave the room. Lavi found himself reaching for him, about to beg him to stay, but it seemed he didn't need to do any such thing. "Well, fuck it… I guess I'll have to show you what I was going to after all." The thump of boots hitting the floor was the same sound Lavi heard his chest making with each shoe being removed. Bah-THUMP! Bah-THUMP! He was more than ready to tear the thing out by now.

Lavi quickly found night eyes staring curiously back into his only visible hue, reflecting a strange, almost _wild_ emotion that sent chills right down his spine. His face was shrouded in an entirely different kind of darkness than usual. This kind of Kanda he'd never seen before and he began hoping it wouldn't fade away in only a few seconds like every other persona he'd seen this mission.

Kanda carelessly kicked the boots a little farther away from the bed then pressed one of his arms into the mattress, leaning back to Lavi, the creak of the old thing being drawn out as he slowly did so. Both men didn't break eye contact for even a millisecond, less the need to blink of course. Lavi held his breath, not risking to hope even the slightest bit this would result in what he so deeply desired in the chambers of his heart, the very desire that lead to all of this to begin with. He took a breath and closed his eyes.

He couldn't see it, but Kanda's eyes narrowed at this action and the slightly older of the two leaned ever so closer. The only reason Lavi was aware of this was the sound of the creak again. "So, Lavi… do you want to see it or not?" Perhaps he'd doomed himself by giving in and flicking his eye open again, but either way, something lit on fire that instant.

Their mouths met in a heated manner, the shock Lavi felt clear in the way he shrieked into the kiss, one hand rocketing up to fist into Kanda's long, wet hair. No matter how much he tried to tell himself this wasn't happening, denial failed; no matter how much he tried to distract himself by twiddling his fingers in that other's hair, diversion failed; no matter how much he tried to tell his body to stop reacting like he needed this so desperately, mind-over-matter failed. He couldn't do it, he couldn't stop himself - nor did he truly want to.

Kanda's kiss this time was quite different than the last - it held more of a guilt to it, yet also, far more compassion and desire. Lavi felt he could die from it with how much it was truly driving him crazy and he made sure to prove he wasn't the only one.

He tangled his fingers deeper into the other's hair, opening his mouth wider in response to the Asian's own lips parting greater than before. Lavi trailed his tongue along every spot he could recall that gave him a reaction and he knew the other was attempting the same. Because of this, they were both whimpering and moaning softly against each other's mouths in a matter of only seconds, not wanting to break for air.

But of course they _had_ to, and when they did, each was left staring at the other in an intense way like they never had before. They were staring at each other with pure lust - well, maybe not pure. There was something else there, something that made Lavi feel strange, like he wouldn't want to be doing this with anyone else but Kanda right now. He could recall a time when he'd want to screw any pretty gal who desired it, but it seemed like those hormones were getting their asses kicked by emotion.

And Kanda too had never felt this way about anyone before, feeling the same as the redhead he was basically attached to right then, of course, less the hormonal desires for females. He never even cared for such things he'd once considered trivial until now. Had this single person alone so strongly caught his eye? _This_ person, a bookman?

It was clear neither cared for anything else right then though, when they found themselves staring so thoughtfully into each other's eyes that they almost looked ready to go _mad_, _insane_, _nuts_. Both Kanda and Lavi froze up a good ten seconds, panting as the two men briefly wondered what to do next, how to go about this. In the end they let their bodies decide for them.

Literally bound together by their mouths again, both let the conjoined heat guide their hands to feel around each other's torsos, sneaking up the damp articles of clothing covering them. Their shirts had been made of a quick-drying material that Komui ingeniously thought of to help out on the colder missions, but Lavi was almost certain they couldn't dry out completely for a long while at this rate. The extent of sweat already building on their skin was amounting to a lot.

A noise of protest slipped past Lavi's lips when Kanda pulled away, but the older of the two shut him up before he could complain verbally when he ran his teeth over the younger's chin roughly. A groan escaped his mouth this time, and the redhead arched up against Kanda's body, grinding them together with a shudder of pure happiness.

Surely enough though, Lavi couldn't help himself from babbling anyway. "Yu," he groaned out, "oh, oh fuck, you're so fucking… God, it's so-" He was interrupted by a teasing bite to his ear, teeth bumping against the pierced lobe, then a tongue trailing along it. Feeling someone's tongue there was a strange yet pleasing sensation he realized for the first time, the small hole that held an earring tingling.

But wait, why the hell was he letting Kanda have all the fun? Lavi'd barely even gotten the chance to further explore the contours and lines of the other's back before being distracted by the man's mouth. So, trying his best to multi-task, he slipped his hands under the fabric again, stroking his fingers along Kanda's spine ever so careful to feel every bump and curve. And fuck, the other felt so solid and sculpted, it wasn't a wonder why he was so strong aside from that seemingly 'non-human' part.

Kanda flinched, highly visibly at that, eyes narrowing a bit. And for once not in anger. The Asian had to bite his lip even in an attempt to not let Lavi notice how he was enjoying that, how _much_ he was enjoying it - and he was failing miserably. Every bit of effort was slowly being swept away as the man underneath him skillfully ran his slightly calloused, long fingers over the soft skin of Kanda's back. He wanted to die from it.

Noticing this, Lavi smirked smugly and dug his nails in a bit. This gained him a big twitch, a satisfying one. "Yu," he purred, whispering by his 'crush's' ear, "do you like that? Mm, bet you do, but you won't admit it. Should we see if I can drag out a moan from you next?"

"The hell, Lavi, you're a fucking pervert," Kanda spat in an almost venomous tone, trembling ever so lightly. Like hell he'd give in! In fact, like hell he'd let that idiot stay in control no matter how good those hands felt, no matter how wonderful that voice by his ear sounded, no matter how amazing it was to actually be doing this. Oh, fuck, he'd lost it!

The sudden distress on Kanda's part easily affected Lavi, the younger pausing all his actions to look up in worry. "What?" The small voice he'd asked the word in was filled with sudden anxiety. Believing Kanda intended to cease all this before they got far yet again, Lavi quickly tried to steal Kanda's attention once more.

Shoving the other away enough to sit up, he made sure to grasp Kanda's face in a soothingly sweet manner with one hand. Lavi'd gotten pretty good at the seduction thing; he'd seen numerous times what both girls _and_ guys liked, and judging by Kanda's persona, he thought he knew exactly what it'd take to reel him in. "Yu, am I no good?" he questioned, tone filled with blankness. "Should I show you all of me then? So you could make a better choice?"

Kanda's eyes shot up and latched onto that vivid emerald one with growing interest clear, just shrouded by confusion, anger (at himself) and curiosity all at once. He didn't respond to that comment, simply trying to comprehend exactly what the taller exorcist had meant. Slowly Kanda swallowed, a sign he'd been fighting a civil war deep down - just the same as Lavi had been this mission. However, Lavi had won his own it seemed.

"Keep your eyes on me and only me," Lavi said, excitement bellowing in his tone. It was more than obvious how much he was enjoying Kanda's reaction. "If you don't, you might miss it and I'm sure you'd be pissed if that happened." Why not take control of the situation? If Kanda was trying to back out of something they both wanted so badly again, he'd personally make sure Kanda fleeing didn't happen.

Lavi began to shed every piece of clothing over his body, gradually tugging the tank-top over his head causing his still-damp hair to flick tads of water off as the fabric was lifted. He made sure to discard that, along with Kanda's exorcist coat he'd long-since dropped from his shoulders, to the floor. Lavi could only grin in a satisfied way when he found the older man staring intently at his bare torso now. "What's wrong, Yu? Cat got your tongue? You haven't seen me shirtless much, have ya?" None of those questions got an answer.

Content with the non-responses, Lavi leaned in close to Kanda, his dark red hair mixing with the other's bluish black, their foreheads touching. "I've been wanting this," he began in a mellow tone, his throat obviously not relieved from its soreness yet, "and I'm pretty sure you have been too. Please, Yu, don't bail out on me now." His only visible eye slowly became half-lidded, a hopeful twinkle clearly reflecting off the green. He could hear his own heartbeat, possibly Kanda's too. Lavi feared his own would stop if he didn't hear the answer he needed to.

However, he hadn't considered that there was another way to answer beyond words - a much, much _stronger_ way. Actions. Kanda let out a loud breath of air before staring back at the other man. The short exchange of gazes was all it took for the Asian to confirm the younger's words and clash their mouths together in an almost vicious 'struggle.'

Lavi gasped against the other's lips, trying to remember why he'd ever tried to resist this desire. It felt way too right to be wrong, and with each time their tongues met, he felt he could die of pure delight. This had been what he'd wanted so badly and now that he had it, or rather, was so close to having it… he couldn't believe it completely.

Kanda's actions were hesitant at times and wild, showing clearly he'd never actually done this with anyone else. Just thinking about how he was the first person Kanda was doing this to made it all the more pleasure filled for Lavi. He made sure to meet every caress of lips with an equal force, enough to gain moans and whimpers from his Japanese comrade to signify he was having a hell of a time too.

Their mouths didn't part even as Lavi made an effort to tug and tear at Kanda's shirt, trying to rip the fabric clean off the older man's body so he could have easier access to his dampening skin. Because Kanda made no attempt to break their kiss, he assumed the other wouldn't really care if he'd torn it off - so he did just that.

Instead of a noise of discontent or anger, a slight chuckle slipped past the samurai's lips. It was a shock enough for Lavi that the younger actually broke them both apart to simply stare, panting. "You stupid rabbit," Kanda grumbled, his expression shrouded and hard to make out. "You ripped my shirt…"

"Had to," Lavi replied in a nervous tone, "didn't want to stop." And that was the whole truth. Lavi couldn't help but look away with an embarrassed expression. He couldn't remember ever wanting to kiss someone _that_ badly to the point that he'd only stop the contact if something else surprised him enough like that laughter.

"Tch." The familiar noise brushed past his ears along with the creaking of the mattress beneath them. "Fucking bastard, you're making me feel strange. I almost want to call you… God, what the hell's wrong with me?" Maybe Lavi wasn't the only embarrassed one?

Blinking a few times fast, Lavi turned to look at the other man again, who was chewing on his bottom lip with a sour look on his face. Lavi was beginning to find that look more and more amusing. Tipping his head a bit in a flirty manner, he smirked. "You almost wanted to call me… what?" he asked, a purr of pure hilarity ringing in his tone.

Kanda growled in annoyance, but his expression slowly softened just a little - Lavi noticed it even so. "Che, I guess it was something, uh… Ugh, I don't even want to say it…" Kanda glanced at the younger man who was still smirking, more-so now, and rolled his eyes. "Cute…" He instantly regretted admitting to it.

Lavi lost it, roaring in a fit of laughter as if that were the absolute funniest thing he'd ever heard in his entire life. This of course pissed Kanda off, but Lavi couldn't help the tears of delight from forming in his eye. "Ha, ha, ha! Oh, God, you said 'cute'!" he screeched, voice a little more hoarse from laughing so much. "How _cute_! He actually said 'cute'! Is that really you?"

Kanda's eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth twitched, and he didn't hesitate to literally pounce the younger man, pinning both his arms above his head with a dark gleam appearing in his eyes. "So you think fucking with me is fun, eh, Lavi?" The redhead knew he wasn't seeing things though, when a hint of amusement fluttered back into Kanda's expression just as quickly as he'd pinned Lavi to the bed.

Cleverly Lavi made sure to keep the other's rapt attention. He didn't really mind being restrained like this if it meant they'd actually continue. "Course. You're way too fun! I betcha like it when I do so, don't ya? I can tell how much it pisses you off, yet I bet you couldn't live with yourself if I stopped. I bet it'd eat you up inside. I bet you'd-" A gasp ended those words, a shuddering, pleasured gasp which accompanied chills running through Lavi's body.

Kanda was _actually_ running his mouth over Lavi's chest, more than capable of continuing to keep Lavi's hands where they were while doing so. However, it became increasingly harder when he moved down to his stomach. 'Che'ing, he let go and focused all his attention on the younger's torso, which he was so 'happily' covering with nips and licks now. This was probably Kanda's, 'Fine, then I'll fuck with you back.' Lavi wasn't complaining.

In fact, as the other man graciously carried on with his actions, Lavi secretly snuck his hands down to brush through his hair, hesitantly doing so in fear of the other man stopping. Rather than stopping, much to Lavi's delight, he bit down onto the skin of the redhead's stomach roughly and peeked up at him. There was a silent exchange of words before Kanda fumbled with Lavi's belt until he'd undone it and was capable of slipping a hand inside those pants.

Lavi's breath halted. Wasn't this going a bit too fast? Or was it that he'd been so used to it _not_ happening that he was in disbelief now that it _was_? He damned it and went with the second thought, sinking into the bed with a sigh, a mellow, sweet one that could easily tell a person how wonderful he'd felt at that moment - even Kanda.

Pausing, the older silently looked up at Lavi again, observing his actions with keen eyes, growing more and more into this by the passing second. For someone like Kanda, this was an entirely new experience, so certainly it couldn't be blamed if he stopped every now and then, even if Lavi didn't want that.

An incoherent set of words exited Kanda's partially open lips, one set Lavi somewhat wished he'd understood. Only reason was because he thought he'd heard a slight compliment, something along the lines of, 'Handsome… idiot…' but perhaps he was mistaken. It wouldn't be like Kanda to say that, _but then again_, he had said 'cute,' so…

Altogether Lavi's thoughts ceased and were drowned in a wave of sudden pleasure. His eye snapped down to look, barely able to comprehend what he was seeing. Was Kanda doing…? No, it couldn't be, this had to be just another dream! But it wasn't. This. Was. _Real_. The reality that Kanda was actually touching him _there_ was enough to make Lavi's lower regions swell with delight. The very person he'd hoped so badly would do this - was. His mind was whirling into insanity.

Kanda didn't take his time, in fact, he seemed extremely impatient because he was sliding his fingers back and forth along Lavi so fast that the redhead had difficulty breathing, unable to keep up with the out-of-the-blue affection. His hips kept arching repeatedly into the touch, aching in confusion. Oh, how he wanted this to go further, further, _further_…

As if reading his thoughts, the Asian exorcist began tugging the article of clothing still covering Lavi's legs down until it was off and on the floor. Suddenly Lavi felt unlike himself, _shy_ even, something he never believed he'd feel when being naked in front of another male. This was also something he'd never felt before when Allen, Kanda and he had bathed together in the hot springs at the old Order, so it stunned him enough that he froze up. Could it be because he'd become so fond of Kanda?

Not seeming to notice, the older of the two crawled over him to lean his face close to Lavi's own, eye shimmering with a curiosity that would make anyone question if this was really Yu Kanda. Lavi blushed. He blushed almost as bright as his own hair, completely embarrassed and trying to calm his thumping heart. What probably embarrassed him the _most_, was the fact that he'd gotten this hyped up over _Kanda_.

Kanda smirked, seeming to take amusement in Lavi's expression. "What's wrong, rabbit?" he asked, his voice holding its usual sadistic tones, but also a bit of enjoyment perhaps. "Cat got your tongue?" he mocked, using the terms Lavi had earlier. "You look flustered. It's not like you."

"And you _would_ be enjoying this," Lavi spat, though his voice held no real anger. In fact, it pleased him to know he could make Kanda happy, even if the other's enjoyment was due to his own knowing that he was 'torturing' Lavi. "I just… need to breathe." He made sure his tone sank to a more seductive level. "I'm not sure where this is going after all."

Kanda's eyes glimmered in a way Lavi really liked and the older of the two pulled away only momentarily to kick off his own pants. While he did this, Lavi made an effort to sit up and he snuck behind Kanda, slipping his arms around his waist and leaning into his back. "Yu-chan…" he whispered, affection reflecting clear.

The Japanese twitched, flinched even, slowly turning his head to the side a bit to peek at the bookman. His gaze bared no ill-will, no cruelty, no hatred, just blankness, as if he were comprehending what to do to soothe both their 'agony.' This came off as a surprise because he usually despised being called by his given name, which didn't particularly bother him this time.

"Yu, I want this." Leaning his head against the other's shoulder, Lavi lightly bit down into the flesh, ever so gently sucking there. His hands moved up over Kanda's torso, enjoying their exploration of the muscles along his stomach and chest. "I need this," Lavi whispered as he moved his mouth to Kanda's ear. "I need _you_."

Maybe that was all Kanda needed to hear to convince him to continue, because as soon as Lavi finished uttering those three simple words, Kanda brushed a hand over Lavi's cheek tenderly then flipped around, pulling out of his grasp to pin him to the bed again. His eyes no longer held hesitance as he once again kissed Lavi passionately, making the younger's heart ease with delight.

Lavi, always one to joke, was the first to speak after their lips broke apart, his tone merry and sugary. "Yu… you taste like…" But his words ended there, green hue staring admiringly into the older man's bluish black ones.

Quirking a brow, the samurai asked in a quiet voice, "Like what?" He paused to think a moment then asked, "Soba?"

Lavi shook his head, a humorous look melting into his slowly calming features. "No, yogurt." A small laugh slipped past Lavi's lips when Kanda slapped his own forehead. That's right, it was all Lavi's fault to begin with that Kanda had ended up liking that strange food, and now the rabbit was telling him he tasted like it.

With an annoyed look and overall demeanor, hair hung over his face, fists clenched, Kanda held back from hitting him and instead pressed the fingers of one hand to Lavi's lips, intending to shut him up. Of course, despite his perverse mind, Lavi mistook that for all the gesture was for - at least until Kanda growled in frustration. "Do you want some sort of easing or not? Because it'll hurt, you fucking idiot!"

A slight silence went about the room then. Confused by several things, especially Kanda's own caring for someone else's well-being, the redhead blinked a few times fast then slowly got the picture. Oh, so this meant Kanda knew enough how it worked with guys… "You want to _do_ me?" Lavi teased, purposely trying to embarrass Kanda. Apparently he'd succeeded.

"You're the one who said you needed it!" Kanda snapped in anger, though his ever-so-lightly flushed cheeks said he was no less than humiliated by actually hearing those words. Despite this, he didn't seem like he wanted to back out. Which was good for the both of them.

"Just teasing, Yu. Don't you know me by now? Oh, and you're free to fuck me as _hard_ as you like," the redhead added, just to make sure he'd made himself clear. And the grin of glee that lit up his features when he saw Kanda's reaction, was extremely priceless. Perhaps he shouldn't have said the 'as hard as you like' though.

Reason being was because of what happened next. Kanda was covering his own fingers with saliva, far too impatient to wait for Lavi to do it. When he pulled those digits out of his mouth, a sexy look covering his face, Lavi felt he'd die. And just as that thought crossed his mind, Kanda was quick to do what he'd intended to do with them.

Lavi groaned, arching his chest and hips into the air, head sinking back into the pillow. Kanda wasn't wasting any time at all, making sure as hell that Lavi was ready for their little 'session.' He wouldn't know just how grateful the bookman was for this, Lavi wouldn't tell him because that'd be like admitting to how nervous he really was.

Just as fast as the preparations began, they ended, causing Lavi to feel momentarily odd, like the pressing, dull pain that left his body for a bit was missed. He squirmed just a tad, eyes searching for any trace of hesitance in Kanda's gaze. There was none, Lavi was relieved, and Kanda leaned over him with a growing confidence.

If that wasn't enough, the older of the two even let him, without the slightest complaint, wrap his arms around his neck and back. As soon as he'd done so, his legs were pushed open and he couldn't help but gulp down his anxiety. Was Kanda moving slower now just to torture him? Because it was working. Or maybe he wasn't moving slower at all, maybe it was just Lavi's own mind making him _think_ he was.

Regardless of the reason, it didn't stop what was bound to happen, which Lavi was highly thankful for anyway. There was pain. And stars. And he had to bite down into the skin of Kanda's neck to muffle a small noise of hurt. He hadn't realized it, but as the pain got worse, he was digging his nails into Kanda's back, causing the older of the two to shiver a bit against him.

And then, as Kanda seemed to pause, just as quickly Lavi felt movement. Push, pull. Push, pull. He hadn't been aware of the soft sighs and moans of satisfaction slipping from his own mouth, his eye having flickered shut from the pure wonder of it all. With each deep shove, he saw so many stars and trembled in pleasure. At the moment, from his mind sailing the seven seas, he had no idea what the heck kept getting brushed against inside of him, but it felt so damn good.

All Lavi was aware of after a while were the soft moans and panting of his partner brushing past his ear and the older man's warmth pressed against him. Eventually he couldn't even feel pain anymore, just ecstasy. He was sure it was the same for Kanda, who had probably at least felt a bit of discomfort from something so tight originally.

Their noises of desire were sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, but regardless of the volume, they were clear and continuous as things went on. Eventually they grew loud once more, and ended with strangled shouts, one voice shouting after the other. Lavi cried out first, then Kanda. Shivering, sweat covered bodies sunk into each other, welcoming warmth swallowing both of them whole.

And Lavi, who was so very fond of napping and sleep in general, felt a heavy wave of pleasant drowsiness overwhelm him. As he opened his eye one last time to catch Kanda sliding beside him with his last bits of strength, Lavi whispered softly in a still-hoarse voice, tenderness overwhelming in his tone, "Thank you… Yu Kanda…" He didn't wait for a response, didn't explain why he was saying such a thing, and gave in to sleep.

xoxoxoxox

A cool sensation of what felt like fingers brushing against the back of his warm neck was what eventually awoke the redhead from his slumber. Lavi opened his eye drowsily, and the first thing that came into view was the beautiful exorcist laying across from him, one of his arms draped over Lavi's waist possessively. He wouldn't admit that he enjoyed that either.

Confused as to what had stirred him, Lavi glanced around, letting his vision adjust to the dim light of early morning. His throat was certainly feeling a great deal better, and he assumed part of the reason was because of finally letting it rest for many hours at once. However, Lavi was definitely sore, so he didn't bother making an effort to get out of bed. Besides that, it felt really good to be curled up next to Kanda, he wouldn't want to get up even if he wasn't in a bit of pain.

When he reached down to feel both of Kanda's hands, his fingers were moderately hot and pleasant, not cold and harsh like the nip of winter winds. Blinking in confusion, Lavi gave up on trying to figure it out, too tired still to care all too much.

What caught his attention and snapped him out of that wonder completely though, wasn't his own thoughts. It was Kanda. "Ngh… Lavi…" The older of the two had turned a bit to stare at him, looking quite worn out. Kanda's healing abilities really _were_ slow lately, weren't they?

"Yu?" the redhead hummed in a pleasant tone as he nestled back beside him. "What's the matter, lover?"

"Don't call me 'lover'…" Kanda muttered, annoyance and embarrassment mixed in his tone. His voice was tired, eyes still half-way shut. "I… need to tell you something. I can't keep it from you anymore, it's driving me mad." Shifting a tad, Kanda glanced off beyond Lavi, as if pondering if it were the right thing to do. It seemed like he thought it was. "Will you promise to listen to me carefully so you don't misunderstand?"

To have this suddenly thrown at him when they'd just woken up more than surprised Lavi, but he nodded anyway. "Yeah, sure." Kanda gave him a dubious look. "I _promise_," Lavi added, patting his arm.

Kanda seemed to believe him this time as he sighed softly. "That night… when you were watching me train," he began, shame starting to swell on his features for whatever reason, "did you even realize why I was doing that?" Lavi had thought it was just routine and didn't respond, letting Kanda continue instead. "It was so I could protect you from that thing. I knew she was stalking us, so I purposely went out there to train to keep my eyes open. She only ever entered the house the same damn way."

Lavi could only stare bewildered at Kanda, trying to figure out what he was talking about - then it came to him. The akuma. He was talking about the akuma maid. When he went to ask why Kanda hadn't destroyed her when he was definitely capable of by himself, Kanda spoke first. "Did that bitch tell you?" Kanda ground out in a sleepy tone. "She can control people, even exorcists, with her mind. It seems like only one at a time, but that's not the point. She… made me…" His voice trailed off, mortified.

With this, anyone would immediately believe comfort was the best thing, but Lavi knew better. This was Kanda, he didn't want to hear words that attempted to soothe his shame. "And would you believe it?" He was continuing again. "That fucking thing made me touch you all over and even kiss you that night you had that dream. Annoying, right? It has had me suffering ever since… Ugh." Wait… what? Lavi couldn't believe his ears just then.

"P-Pardon me, Yu?" he asked in uncertainty. That couldn't be. Kanda had lied to him that entire time? The very reason behind his dream he'd hoped so very much to find… was right here all along? Disbelief, betrayal and confusion clouded Lavi's face all at once and, despite the pain in his lower back, he turned his entire body to face away from Kanda. "You lied to me…"

Kanda felt, despite himself, guilty about the situation, having caused not only himself, but Lavi too, a world of confusion and pain. He wasn't the type to care for others, but deep down, he always did feel _something_ for other people. Something that wasn't just hate, annoyance, etc. After all, with his own past being the way it was, he couldn't really help but to access the remaining humanity left in him sometimes. That was why he'd originally let that doll Lala sing until it broke.

In any case, he was unsure of how to go about this now, dizzy from his own guilt and irritation. So, without thinking, the brunet found himself pressed against Lavi's back, one arm moving over his waist like before, the other pushing itself under the redhead's cheek. "I… tch, I suppose I'm… well…"

Lavi wasn't ready to forgive him so easily, despite how incredibly amazing their hot little sex session was and regardless of how Kanda was finally honest with him, but he did feel a little better upon realizing how Kanda was feeling about the whole thing. "I get it, Yu. You're sorry. I don't forgive you yet, but I will eventually… I guess."

"You guess?" Kanda spoke up. He really couldn't blame Lavi, nor did he really care if he was fully forgiven anyway, but it still somewhat caused, just a bit, only a little, just a tad… of pain in his chest. "Che, stupid rabbit… You don't have to forgive me ever. I fucked up-"

"Which is why I will eventually," Lavi interrupted, leaning back into the older man's embrace. That alone surprised Kanda, Lavi could tell from intuition, and he was slightly amused. "I don't know whether to be happy or mad or sad or whatever," he commented softly, voice sounding defeated. "You're such a bastard, but I think I… really like you. Not just as a friend either."

Anyone who's anyone could see just how hard it was to admit such a thing. Even Kanda, who was never good with emotions, knew as much. They couldn't say 'I love you,' only at most 'I really like you.' It wasn't a bad start though. As for Kanda, who couldn't even say that much, well, he hoped his beating heart would commit suicide from the tension and… delight?

In the end, Lavi simply couldn't stay entirely mad over hearing the sudden news that basically solved almost all his questions. Not only did he realize this was Kanda, who probably felt horribly disgusted and ashamed of himself for ever letting himself feel Lavi up in his sleep, but he understood where he was coming from. If Lavi himself had been in his shoes, he too probably would be incapable of admitting the truth right away, if not at all.

Finally turning back to him, ignoring the aches, the bookman in training leaned his head back on his lover's arm, cuddling into his embrace. And as he stared at Kanda, a dreaded thought came to mind upon noticing something. Kanda's tattoo… did it get bigger? He was never really informed of much about Kanda's past before the other told him as much, but he had the common sense to see the two things, tattoo and regeneration ability, were related.

"Say, Yu, not to change the topic so suddenly, but…" While speaking, he ran a few fingers over the black markings across the elder's skin. Kanda instantly knew what he was going to ask. "…how much longer until this ability stops?"

Looking away, the Asian answered, "It's a ticking time bomb. I don't even know myself, but… it's slowly but surely becoming slower and slower, and much more painful." He was being completely honest, something he hadn't cared to do in the past about his so-called 'miracle healing.'

A deep sadness quickly appeared on Lavi's features. A horrible, gruesome sorrow that even he himself was shocked over. So Kanda probably didn't have much longer, eh? He suddenly felt a wish overwhelm his heart. "Yeah, but how much longer do you think?"

Kanda didn't respond and Lavi sighed. "Well, on a less depressing note, do you think after that rough sex this mansion will still hold up?" he snickered, pointing to all the fallen cabinets they'd already destroyed beforehand. This earned him a glare, but he couldn't help another laughing fit. Okay, okay, he'd shut up now.

After a bit, the two decided they'd try to sleep more to regain some much-needed strength before trying to finish that akuma off, solve the rest of the mystery behind that supposed Innocence, then regroup with Allen and go home. Lavi was the first to doze off, leaving a now better awake Kanda to think to himself. Despite Lavi's pain both physically and mentally, he'd fallen straight to sleep, which made Kanda feel a bit uneasy out of worry. He hated how Lavi made him feel that way.

Glancing over at the snowy pendant of Innocence on the nightstand, then at Lavi, then at the ceiling, Kanda heaved a heavy sigh, irritated. There was still that bitch akuma to deal with, who'd be a pain in the ass considering how she could control one of them. Fortunately since there were two of them, it should prove to be easier - that is, if Lavi proved not to be a burden in battle.

The redhead was still very much recovering from being trapped under that water the previous day, but also from their love-making. Lavi didn't seem to mind all too much, but Kanda regretted it now due to recalling their mission. Actually, that was the _only_ reason he regretted it. He somehow couldn't get himself to for any other reason.

While thinking to himself about everything, Kanda slowly began to recall something important as he remembered Lavi pointing out about his tattoo - his _curse_. The very reason he was even here to this day was because he'd done something horrible way back then, something nobody should be forced to do, especially not a child, even a child _like him_. "They told me I'd killed him," he whispered to himself, eyes reflecting something odd, an anger even unlike him. "No, I _know_ I did it, so then why does this brat make me doubt it slightly somehow? It pisses me off."

Frustration grew on his already irate features. The reason Kanda had always refused to let himself become friends with anyone, the reason he acted bitter toward friendliness, was because he had done it - he had killed his first friend with his own two hands. His _inhuman_ hands…

Sadness, the slightest glimpse of genuine sadness at that, cast over his features ever so shallowly. He'd been forced by them to fight with Alma to the death. So then why? Why was he here, alive, regenerating with every wound he'd received, while Alma was lucky enough to be dead, six-feet under somewhere? He wished so many times he could go back to sleeping like those others, wished he never woke up, yet now… Now he was slightly, perhaps, thankful it was otherwise…

"Tch!" Mentally yelling at himself for letting such a thing distract him at a time like this, slowly but surely, Kanda started to get his mind off the topic. With a glance at Lavi, he muttered more to himself, shutting his eyes. "Stupid rabbit. The real reason I could never stand you or that bean-sprout, was not because you simply pissed me off and annoyed me, but because you reminded me of _him_. I hated people like the sprout for that reason. That's why I never wanted anyone to call me 'Yu' anymore either, idiot." He bit his lip. "Because that's what _he_ called me as he breathed his last breath."

His given name, after the incident, had become something only Alma could call him, something that reminded him of the other, the thing he'd done, every time he was addressed to by it. And as Kanda slowly drifted off into the dream world, falling asleep fast in spite of all that was on his mind, he didn't care if Lavi had heard him or not. He hadn't meant for him to anyway.


	12. The Dream Girl

SS: The original character, Belle, is secretly a fan of the boys' relationship. Fancy that.

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

--

**Chapter 12 The Dream Girl**

Lavi let loose a content purr when he felt nothing but the sweet, gentle warmth of another person's embrace swallowing him whole. His eye flicked open slowly but surely, the first thing it laying its sights on being the sleeping Kanda curled up next to the bookman with a calm expression on his face. Lavi couldn't help a small chuckle at just how cute his new 'boyfriend' looked. Ah, that's right… boyfriend…

Feeling his cheeks lighting afire at actually repeating the term in his head to himself, he rolled over onto his back, Kanda's arm keeping itself draped over him despite the other's slumber. So they were technically boyfriends now, weren't they? Yeah, that'd be about right. They had sex, they kissed a lot, they exchanged affectionate words, they fell asleep in each other's embrace. Those were the kinds of things only those kinds of people did… right?

A moment of doubt swept over his mind as he tried to sort things out. He himself had never been involved in actual romance. He could only describe the 'not-this-far' incidents with women to be simple small crushes due to male desires, certainly nothing deep like this had become. And this had become pretty darn deep. In fact, it'd become so deep that Lavi felt an almost unbearable warm sensation in his stomach and chest that felt _waaay_ too good to be true. And that was…

"Happiness, isn't it?" he asked no one in particular, not expecting a response or anything of the like. He got one despite this though.

"What is?" Kanda mumbled sleepily, flicking his dark eyes open enough to focus on his rabbit brat. He kind of liked that thought, actually. _His_ rabbit brat. Ever since the previous day when they'd made love, he felt a strong desire to take possession of every bit of Lavi; which was strange, but somehow he didn't mind. Snapping out of his thoughts, he continued with, "What the hell are you muttering about?"

Lavi grinned and shook his head slowly, turning back to his side and simply staring into those night-sky eyes. "Nothing. At least, nothing that I can explain well." The whole truth and nothing but the truth. He couldn't even describe the feeling to himself well, needless to say Kanda.

Apparently catching the drift, the older of the two rolled his eyes. "None of this can be explained well, you know that, rabbit." He emphasized his words, making dang well clear he meant that as a statement, not a question. They both knew fully it wasn't exactly easy to explain any of what had happened, only that they could clear up most of their confusions by speaking without words. They'd proven that much already.

The two barren bodies draped over the bed, covered by only the patched up sheets, still reflected what had happened that night. Neither of them really minded, less the memory of their mission sweeping through their minds. In fact, that was the only sad reason they couldn't stay like this longer, curled into each other's warmth.

"We have to go," Kanda said abruptly, his words the ones Lavi hadn't been wanting to hear. "If we get this over with, we can…" The brunet paused, as if uncertain of himself, then continued slowly. "…do this… sort of… 'cuddling'… more… I guess…"

Lavi's eye lit up with a childish glow of happiness and he practically forgot all about his soreness as he pounced Kanda like he was a giant teddy bear. In response, the older of the two gasped and froze in place, unable to comprehend what had just happened. This only made Lavi grin with an even greater satisfaction. "You guess, huh? Well then, _I guess_ I'll have to do _this_ to you more often from now on." And he meant that.

A grunt echoed into the air, but it wasn't one filled with absolute anger, it was only one of slight annoyance. "Che. If you randomly jump at me like this when others are around, I swear I will react the same way I did in the past and attack you." And _he_ meant _that_.

Lavi gave a small pout, even if in the end he surrendered. He hugged the other man one last time quite tightly before letting go and sitting up, ignoring the pain in his lower regions. It wasn't extremely bad, after all, he'd felt worse during his many missions as an exorcist. Which reminded him, how much longer would this mission take? More than ever he found himself wishing it to be over quickly.

Kanda too seemed to be thinking the same thing, as he began to get dressed only seconds after Lavi's hug, grateful their clothes were finally almost completely dry. He was also quite grateful this wasn't a room back at headquarters, not because of the mess of toppled over cabinets, but because of the stained sheets and scent that made it more than obvious what they'd been up to that night. Of course, anyone would be dead if they dared to question what Kanda had been doing.

Lavi, still disappointed at their inability to cuddle more, slowly rose from the bed, wandering to his clothes and getting dressed himself. At his difficulty walking, Kanda stared in worry for multiple reasons. "What's the problem?" Lavi questioned, glancing at the samurai with an inquiring expression.

"How's your ass?" Kanda muttered, almost embarrassed at his own wording. But it was true that that was where his curiosity was lying.

A small chuckle echoed into the air, filled with a bit of embarrassment too, and Lavi shook his head as he pulled up his pants. "It's fine. I mean, it hurts, yeah, but I'll make do. I know what you're thinking though," he added, frowning. "If I get in the way, I'll personally get the hell _out_ of the way. You know that, Yu, so don't tell me to stay here or something." He'd hate that more than anything -- being stuck in this room all alone wondering if the others were okay while he was useless. Yes, not exactly the best predicament.

If anything, Kanda didn't want that, but he knew better than to let someone become a burden in battle. However, with the way his head was working, he decided he'd keep his own opinion quiet figuring Lavi already knew as much. "Well, if you do get in the way, be prepared for that. I refuse to be blamed for your death." And maybe, just maybe, saying such words aloud was what caused a streak of pain to cross Kanda's chest. He brushed it off as being the tattoo, however.

Heaving a sigh, boot being slipped on, Lavi grimaced as he thought of what could possibly happen while the two were out in battle. Usually where there was one akuma, first rule was that there were more, and if he were to suddenly be distracted by this pain, then… _I've been through worse pain than this and survived_, he reminded himself quickly before he could doubt more. _I was shot and almost died when I was little, duh. I won't get in Yu's way from something like this._

It was probably for the best when Kanda shouted in frustration, interrupting Lavi's thoughts. "Where the hell is the snowflake?!" Kanda yelled, clearing off the table it had been resting on with one big shove at everything on it.

"Yu! Calm down, what if you just threw it off?!" Rushing back over in a panic, Lavi searched as best as he could with only his eye, then added his hands. Unfortunately, there wasn't the slightest twinkle of 'snow' anywhere, not even on the bed or under it. If they'd lost that, they'd have possibly lost Innocence, which was _never_ a good thing during this war.

"For fuck's sake!" Kanda snapped, kicking the nightstand out of frustration. "How the hell did we even lose that? During that, uh… shit we did last night?" He sounded a bit embarrassed after having spoken such words, then added, "Did we bump the table?"

If the table had been bumped, surely they'd have noticed because the small wooden nightstand shook fairly easily, and Lavi did recall taking a final glance at it before he fell back to sleep. In a matter of fact, the snowflake pendant itself was what had made him feel sleepier. But then, what in the world could have happened to it?

Both men suddenly snapped glances at each other, seeming to think the same exact thing. It was highly possible someone had snuck in there, snatched the pendant while they were sleeping, then slipped back out. Even with Kanda's sharp ears, he'd let his guard down when sleeping, and more than anything else that made sense.

While searching around the floor, under the bed, between the sheets, everywhere else they could think of, it came to Lavi's mind that the possibility of the akuma having been there was unlikely. Surely she'd have attacked them while their guard was down, so it had to be something else that had taken the snowflake if it was taken at all. What that something was, Lavi didn't know.

Frustration brewed through-out the room, the aura thick and tense, the last remnants of sweet lulls of love becoming shrouded in the shadows of annoyance and anger. Had the two exorcists lost their only trace of possible Innocence, they'd both regret their no-less-than wonderful night. Lavi, in his bleeding heart, desired nothing more than to cherish it, and Kanda felt similarly yet hid his feelings away. They both began to dread going back to the Order empty handed after all they'd been through this mission.

Maybe someone who'd passed on had felt their pain somewhere out there, because the slightest glimmer of hope appeared before them in the form of a person. Actually, more specifically, it appeared before _Lavi_ as a _little girl_.

The redhead's heart almost stopped in his chest from shock when he moved back up from searching under the bed. Sitting at the end of the mattress was a small girl, probably around ten, clutching the very doll Lavi had spotted in the house earlier during their mission. Her face was the exact same as the child Lavi had dreamed about, though her clothes differed a bit.

"W-who are you?" he stammered, his words getting Kanda's attention, who had been halfway under the bed searching for the pendant. "You're… familiar. And that dolly, is it yours?" He received a nod at this, but no answer to his first question.

Kanda stood straight up and snatched his sword, pointing it defensively. Lavi panicked a bit and grabbed his wrist quickly in an attempt to stop him from doing anything stupid. "Yu, what on Earth are you doing?!"

"Shut up, idiot! How do you know she's not an akuma?!" Kanda was back to normal, being his stubborn, untrusting self, and Lavi was quite relieved at this, yet at the same time he felt nervous. If she _wasn't_ an akuma, Kanda could recklessly harm her from his own irritation. "Get out of the way!"

"_No_!" Lavi gasped, ignoring the climbing pain from his lower regions, hooking his arms around the Asian's torso in an attempt to hold him back. "Yu, wait, hear me out! She's not, I just know she's not. I don't know how, I just _know_. Please!" The bookman feared his begging wouldn't be enough, so he didn't let go and put his full strength into clinging to his lover's body.

The little girl clutched the doll tighter in her arms, eyes growing wide in a slight fear, but it truly seemed she was more worried about Lavi than herself. She shifted, reaching into a small pocket on her dress, and quickly flashed the object in her hand to them. The struggle going on between both exorcists ceased at this.

In her hand, twinkling with a heavenly glow, was the snowflake pendant they both were afraid they'd lost. There was a brilliantly cold 'wind' moving through the room as she held it there, but it was only a light breeze of sorts, barely able to be felt in the first place. Perhaps this clarified whether or not it was Innocence in a way. There was still the chance of it being something else, but…

The child stared at them silently with a curiosity. She slowly lowered her arm before finally speaking. "Please… don't hurt him. Mama gave me it, but if you want it, it's okay." Her voice was gentle and kind, reflecting the childlike innocence she still had. And, if one had to guess based off this, she was certainly sincere with her words.

Lavi let go of Kanda and moved toward her faster than Kanda could react to for once. His expression was mellow, eye trimmed with both relief and mildness. Instead of swiping the pendant from her however, the hand he'd reached out rested itself on her little head, and he took a seat on the bed next to her. "I saw you in my dream, you know," he said, a smile pushing his cheeks up. "You're the reason I found that to begin with. Hold onto it, it seems special to you."

The thump of a foot hitting the floor hard sounded from behind the redhead, then he felt a rough pull to his shoulder. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kanda snapped, barely able to keep his voice from reaching a yell.

Lavi peeked back, staring directly at his comrade with a still mellow expression despite the abuse to his shoulder. It seemed Kanda was slightly taken aback by this. "Yu, it's okay. Can't you tell? She's one of us. We can't take it away from her, in fact, it seems she'll have to come back with us." And as if the realization that yet another child was involved in this war came to mind, Lavi frowned.

"If she's an accommodator, I'd like to see her use that," the Japanese muttered, eyeing the pendant in the girl's hands with suspicion. "I don't trust anyone right now, except…" He eyed Lavi, then looked away. "Che, forget it."

A beaming aura shined through-out the room. Lavi smiled ever-so-sweetly at that comment, more than happy he'd finally managed to soften the scariest exorcist at the Order up, even if only a little. Well, at least he'd accomplished _something_ this entire mission.

"I can do it," the child spoke, interrupting the two's 'little moment' without meaning to. "You mean, use this, right? This snowflake. I can. I can make it do strange things. I don't know how though, I just… think in my head what I want it to do and it does it."

The two men exchanged glances, realizing that yes, that was indeed a sign of possible Innocence, and the look Kanda shot at the girl after was one of disbelief purposely, as if he were trying to get her to use it right now. Lucky enough for them, she complied without a question.

Holding the small pendant tightly, she crawled a bit closer to Lavi, then lifted it up to his face, a small glow surrounding the 'ice' crystal. And, just as she did so, pieces of ice began to fall from it, from seemingly inside of the pendant, landing in the redhead's lap. She smiled contently, then pulled away as if proud of herself. "I can even freeze the big, big pond out there. It's fun…" When she finished speaking, she tipped her head down, peeking up at them with only her eyes in a shy manner.

"What should we do, rabbit?" Kanda asked, resting a hand on the other man's shoulder out of the blue. Lavi hadn't been expecting it naturally, so Kanda had to squeeze him a bit to snap him out of his sudden daze. "Well?"

"Uh, well." As if the answer was the most obvious thing in the entire world, Lavi cleared his throat and stared toward the door that lead outside of the mansion. "We finish this. We kill that akuma if Allen already hasn't, then we take the kid back with us."

"NO!" the child screeched, lunging at Lavi and clinging to him with a pleading look on her face. "Don't! Don't hurt Mama and big sis! You tried to before and I had to stop you! Don't do it again! Please!" Tears rimmed the young female's eyes, so sincere that there was no questioning how honest they were. So then this could only mean one thing…

Lavi heaved a heavy sigh before exchanging yet another glance with Kanda. "The akuma… that's your mother… in your sister's body, isn't it?" Nobody ever said being an exorcist was easy, and particularly dealing with other people directly when they'd lost someone tragically to an akuma was hard on the bookman. Especially since he had trouble steering clear of emotions as it was.

"Mama got real sick," the child began to explain, and despite the fear in her voice, she seemed to trust the two. Perhaps this was the first sign of 'woman's intuition.' She clung to the younger of the two exorcists a bit tighter as she continued. "She got too sick and… she… But big sis had told me it'd be okay! She said a strange man in a top hat would help us, she said he'd bring Mama back. I believed her, I believed him… I really did. I believed that Mama could come back, but… it was all really, really bad…"

A moment of silence elapsed the room, and the child only began to speak again once she'd taken a deep breath. "The man in the top hat, the Millennium Earl, he did bring Mama back to us. But… Mama wasn't herself. He put her in some strange metal thing he called 'akuma,' he claimed it would be her new body. We were so happy to hear Mama's voice again, but she… She attacked big sis! I… don't remember much from there… But there was…" Trembling, the child clenched tightly at Lavi's coat. "…red… too much red… now they're both…"

By the time she'd finished, tears were swelling even worse in her eyes, threatening to stream down her face at any second. However, it seemed she was trying her hardest to hold them back, trying to hide the pain, trying to be strong. Lavi was reminded of someone back at the Order upon seeing this, Kanda was too probably.

"It's okay," Lavi assured, tone purposely kind. "We're going to help your mother and big sister, we just need your help too." As if asking how she could possibly help with a simple look up at him, the child loosened her grip. "First we need to know your name."

Hesitance was the first thing shown after Lavi's statement. But when Lavi gave her a reassuring smile, she looked down and murmured softly as if embarrassed, "Belle."

A smile emerged on Lavi's features. "It's a cute name, isn't it, Yu? It means beautiful in French, if I remember right." Lavi shot a glance at his older comrade, who was only shaking his head. "What's the matter?" Lavi asked, confused.

"I was thinking that…" Speaking slowly and quietly at first, Kanda gradually sped up a tad and his tone rose in sound. "…if the kid's an exorcist too, she can watch over you while I finish things up if the sprout already hasn't. Your injury to your ankle probably hasn't healed completely yet, not to mention you were under ice cold water for who knows how long exactly." He paused, then glared at a wall. "You'd… be in the way is all. I'm not worried about your well-being or anything of the like."

Lavi grinned cheekily, mentally saying a 'Sure, Yu' in sarcasm. It was a wonder how he'd managed to get things to work out in the end between them… or so it seemed. Was this going to last? There wasn't a guarantee that by the time they made it back to the Order, Kanda would still hold onto the feelings he had for Lavi. And Lavi himself too, he was a bookman, and eventually that would mean 'bye-bye' love for Kanda.

For the time being, he pushed any such worries aside, reminding himself that he still had _enough_ to worry about. Kanda was right about his injuries, so now Lavi was pondering between sneaking to help Kanda anyway or sticking with the newly found accommodator from his dream. Belle was so small, but apparently she'd been holding her own there for a lot longer than they'd been there, so Lavi wasn't exactly worried about being by her side every five minutes.

Speaking of which, how would Belle deal with the news that they would have to destroy the shell containing her mother's soul? She'd already reacted negatively to the idea when Lavi had simply spoken to Kanda about it, so they had to think of a way to explain about akuma better. Lavi, being the brainy guy at heart he was, figured the direct approach would be best.

Kanda was standing a bit further off to the side by the time Lavi snapped out of his thoughts, fiddling around with his precious Innocence, seemingly in thought as well. "Yu," Lavi spoke up, tipping his own head a bit. Kanda glanced back at him. "I want to go with you. We should bring Belle too. We can't just do this behind her back," he added quickly, before the Asian could argue about it being an initially bad idea.

"Tch. Whatever. But remember that she's your responsibility then. I'm not being held accountable if something happens to her." Slipping his sword back into its sheath, the older of the two exorcists walked toward the door. "I'll be outside waiting, but I'll give you only five minutes at the most, so hurry up."

As Kanda left the room, Lavi gave him a smile. It was strange to see Kanda more openly caring, but he could definitely get used to it. After all, they were now secret 'lovers' and that meant they'd have to bare some compromises with one another.

"Okay, now, Belle, we're alone. There's something important you need to understand." The girl's attention, which had drifted off to her Innocence, her eyes having been glued onto it as she ran fingers over it repeatedly, quickly shot to Lavi. "Your mother and your sister aren't your mother and your sister anymore. Get it? Mum's not mum anymore. Sis isn't sis anymore. That akuma is merely your sister's body with your mother's soul trapped inside."

Belle opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Instead she closed it again and glanced down then back up at Lavi, as if asking him to continue. "Your mother is suffering right now. You see, your sister has long since passed on, but your mother was brought back and has been trapped inside your sister's body, unable to control most of her actions, unable to fight off the urge to shed blood. And even if she wasn't the type of person to do such things, she'll be forced to. It's extremely hard for akuma to resist the Earl or the Noahs orders."

"Then… you want me to believe Mama's a monster?" Belle finally asked, disbelief shrouding her features. "I can't believe Mama's a monster, I refuse! I won't let you touch her, I'll stop you again!" Jumping up, she attempted to run out the door after Kanda, but Lavi stopped her. He knew Kanda was _probably_ long-since gone, as Lavi felt deep down the Japanese wanted to finish this without more waiting. And even if that scared the hell out of Lavi knowing the akuma's ability, he didn't panic nor make a fuss of chasing him in a hurry too.

"You have to believe me," he said calmly, keeping a firm hold on her. "I can tell you're a strong girl already, but you need to know, once some poor soul has become an akuma, there is nothing we can do but to exorcise them from the shell." He recalled 'Chomesuke' briefly in his head, pain appearing on his features then fading just as fast. "Your mother needs to rest again, Belle."

The child struggled in his arms, being stubborn like he expected her to be. It was only natural, there was a great deal of love emitting from her to her mother and sister in the simple tone of voice she spoke of them in. "If you don't believe me, take this into consideration. Has Mama tried to hurt you ever since she became this way?" Perhaps those were the words that would do it, however.

Belle froze, her struggles ceasing, her eyes widening in pain. There was a definite yes without her having to speak it, and she gently squeezed the Innocence in her hand. "Mama hates this, so I have to use it to protect myself, but…" With a pause, she glanced up at Lavi with begging eyes. "…are you sure Mama will be alright after this? Will she go back to Heaven? Is… it really the only way?"

Lavi was more than surprised at how mature this child was, so he assumed she was a little older than he originally thought because of this, but he knew well enough from personal experience that this type of thing aged you. He nodded slowly, sympathetically, green hue halfway cutoff by his eyelids as he stared back down at her. "I promise you she will be okay. I promise you she'll rest in peace with your sister. That's all I can offer though." A melancholy smile appeared on his face, but it was an attempted comforting one if anything.

Belle's hands curled into fists, and with her body lightly trembling, she stared into the older's single visible eye. "I don't want to lose Mama again." And Lavi swore he felt his heart hurting with those words. Damn, he really _was_ a failure as a bookman. His 48th alias had been right back in Road's Dream World, because Belle's words and expression and actions and everything was making his chest hurt, yet he barely knew the girl.

"I know, Belle," he said, gulping down a pained tone of voice. "I know, but… this will be for the best, y'know? I promise. Does this look like a face that would lie to you?" He shot her a huge grin, one that hid away all that ache like it was never there.

Despite her predicament, despite her worries, despite her overall pain over the idea, Belle smiled. Truly and genuinely. Lavi could see then and there why a lot of men loved having daughters so much. Little girls could truly brighten even the most depressing of events with a simple perk of the cheeks.

Reaching a hand down to the girl, he nodded for assuring. At this, she grabbed onto that part of his arm and squeezed tightly, still trembling, holding back tears. Lavi was grateful to see she was going for the idea, even if she wasn't entirely okay with it, though he felt pretty badly about it all. For the longest time both he and Kanda had no idea the akuma was so important to someone still human and alive.

Belle and Lavi both took a deep breath at the same time. A sudden shout echoing through the air was what caused the two to move as quickly as possible out of the room, however. And when they'd made it outside, there stood the cause of all of this, bitterness and anger exploding off the 'demon.'

"What the hell is _this_?" the maid spat in venom, eyes narrowed, hair messy, as she looked over Lavi and Belle, then glanced at Kanda. "First you take my love away from me, and now you're taking my daughter? Do you realize what I'm going to do to you?"

"Enough is enough!" Lavi yelled before Kanda could even do anything, practically interrupting the akuma's speech. "Leave Yu-chan alone, he didn't do anything! I'm the one who fell for him first and wanted him, I'm also the one who coaxed your daughter into joining up with us, so if there's anyone you should be mad at, it's me!"

A distinct laughter was released. The maid eyed the three with growing interest, looking ready to change form any second. "Oh, La! You're so sweet to defend him! But don't worry, soon enough we'll live as a family, just the three of us, without him in the picture!" She waved her hands and laughed more, an insane, psychotic laughter that creeped even Kanda out apparently -- which was saying a lot.

"Mama, please!" Belle's voice was next to try and reason. "Don't do this, Mama, the mister with the long hair really, really loves La, and La really, really loves him! Please don't try to take them away from each other like how the sickness took you from sis and I!"

More laughter ensued, which made Kanda finally take over the talking. "Tch, she's not going to listen to either of you, I'll have to just kill her." Drawing his sword from its sheath, he pointed it toward her, bracing himself for combat. Kanda was well aware of how he'd probably have to go against their wishes.

"But Mama is--!" Belle reached out, trying to run toward the maid, but Lavi grabbed her shoulders before she could. She looked up with weak eyes, not bothering to struggle as Lavi shook his head at her. He gave her the 'we discussed this' stare.

"LA!" the akuma roared, eyes flashing red. Impatience wasn't even a good enough way to describe how she was reacting. "You have one more chance to come quietly to me before I rip the pretty boy there to shreds, then proceed with peeling pieces of his flesh off in front of you until you concede!"

Maybe this whole thing had just about tipped off Lavi's last nerve, because instead of replying to her right away, he silently petted Belle on the head, then walked to Kanda's side. The brunet's eyes widened in confusion, especially more-so when Lavi snatched his free hand in one of his own and held it tenderly. Whatever the hell Lavi was trying to do, Kanda couldn't tell.

"This is the first and last time I'll ever say this to you, so you'd better be listening." The redhead kissed the hand he had in his own, then kept it by his mouth, eyeing the maid all as he did this. Jealousy sparked in her even redder eyes. "I love him. I love a man. I love _this_ man. I love _Yu Kanda_, not you. I never have and never will love you. I barely even know you. As for Yu-chan, I've known him for at least three years now. The locked up heart I tried so hard to _keep_ locked up, was unlocked completely by this person, something you could have _never_ done. Understand, I will never, ever give in to you. My happiness lies in his hands and his hands alone."

By the end of Lavi's little speech, the three others standing there were left in shock. Kanda's cheeks bared a light pink tinge, embarrassment clear on his features due to his naturally asexual nature, in disbelief that anyone would ever say that about him. Belle was blushing as well, yet her features quickly melted into admiration. The akuma on the other hand was… _furious_. Absolutely, positively outraged.

"How _dare_ you, La?!" she screamed lividly, shifting out of her shell and into her true form, the metal all over her 'body' reflecting an ultimate murderous intent. In fact, she lifted a 'hand' and sharp metal knives sprouted from each 'finger.' Her eyes gleamed, her form twitched and shook, her voice spoke nothing but viciousness. "You've done it! Now I'll kill him slowly and painfully in front of you, force you to watch, then make you live the rest of your miserable life suffering!"

This was one of those times when Lavi wished he'd kept his big trap shut, only because he was currently so distracted that he feared a level 2 could do some pretty hefty damage to him despite facing higher levels before. In fact, he actually took a step back, unsure of where he'd put his Innocence. Damn, he'd been _that_ distracted!

Belle's cries for her mother's attention and for her to stop were ignored completely as the akuma lunged at Lavi first. Kanda quickly jumped to defend him, but he was beaten to the punch in speed, something that never usually happened with other exorcists. A cry of pain echoed into the air as the small body of the child struggled to stay on its feet. Lavi's eye widened greatly.

Belle had pushed herself in the way first, three metal knives having been lunged into her stomach. She coughed a bit before whispering incoherent words and collapsing to the ground. Lavi practically jumped down at her, flipping her body over desperately.

The akuma floated there, bewildered, but it only took her a few seconds to regain her anger when Kanda lunged at her with his mighty sword. She dodged him with a hiss, glanced at Belle one last time, then sped off into the woods that she'd used before for hiding.

Lavi clutched the small girl's body in his arms, resting her upper torso on his lap as he quickly attempted to stop the bleeding. For fuck's sake, they'd just met the poor thing! And as that thought crossed his mind, the girl opened her eyes, blinking up at him slowly, whispering his name. "Why would you do that, Belle?! You have Innocence! You didn't have to…" He glanced at her wounds. "…do this to yourself! How could you be so naïve?! I know you're just a kid, but you're like us, we need you--!"

"La… I can't have you and the mister… being hurt anymore…" Her words were soft and slightly hoarse, but still very much words of someone _alive_. "I'm sorry… I could've stopped Mama, but I didn't… so I… wanted to make it up to you…"

"Shut up! You can make it up to me alive, kid! I haven't even gotten to know you yet like I have all the others back at the Order, it's not fair!" He pressed on the wounds, trying his hardest to just stop the bleeding, damning the stupid akuma. A shadow enveloped him from above, Kanda hovered over them. "Yu, please, I--!" Lavi's words were interrupted as he looked up at him, a hand being pressed over his mouth.

"Rabbit," the older grunted, annoyed. There was something Kanda noticed that Lavi just hadn't. "Take a closer look, would you?"

He glanced back down at the girl, noticing the twinkle of her Innocence, a gentle blue glow enveloping it and the female's wounds. "What the? Did… the Innocence protect her?" This would mean yet another 'case' or 'exception' was to be added to the list Allen and Lenalee were on, for Belle's Innocence was stopping her from losing any more blood completely out of its own accord.

A dumbstruck, amazed, relieved and bewildered Lavi sat there staring down, while a growing impatient Kanda rose once more, looking toward the forest. "I have to go, Lavi," he said seriously, not waiting for an answer as he sped off into the area of vegetation.

Little Belle laid there unconscious from the impact of the wounds and pure shock of it all despite how they hadn't reached a critical, fatal level thanks to her Innocence. Lavi didn't move. He took a deep, shuddering breath as he finally got himself to look back up, watching the last bits of his lover disappear into the deadly shadows. "I know," he whispered to himself, anxiety brewing. He didn't like it. He didn't _have_ to like it. And despite the child in his arms, Lavi never felt so alone as he did then.


	13. Especially Together

SS: The final chapter -- _finally_. Now there is only the epilogue after this, and I hope you'll enjoy that bonus short story. Thanks for sticking with me this past year-and-a-half, everyone!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

--

**Chapter 13 Especially Together**

Trembling fingers clutched at the unconscious body of the child in his arms, his own body frozen in place, his bright green orb stuck staring at the fairly large forest not far in front of him. What could he do? What _should_ he do? To speed off after that man and be a burden was not forgivable to his lover, but to stay here and be useless was not forgivable to _himself_.

Lavi hesitated in his decision, brain forced to make yet another incredibly hard choice through his time as an exorcist. In fact, the most difficult ones had been during this war, not any of the others, simply because he'd become more attached to many of the people he'd worked with. It was like a familiar setting, like a home, like that home he so quickly let go of the day he decided to work toward his goal of succeeding Bookman. But then, had he ever had a _true_ home?

Each time in the past when Bookman had told him it was time to go, time to head off to their next destination on their journey of recording history, he went just like that. No arguments, no regrets. But this time, this time he wasn't even sure if he could go just like that. The former hesitation from the first time Bookman mentioned they'd have to leave the Order if Lavi's Innocence evolved, came back full-fledge, especially since he'd so suddenly found himself attached to Kanda more than anyone else.

That was why he couldn't simply speed off after Kanda like it was nothing. That man had cut off a huge piece of his heart and stolen it, and naturally Lavi felt he couldn't betray his trust or anything of the like. But if he _didn't_ go, he'd be betraying his trust _in himself_, and that was something Lavi couldn't afford, being the multi-persona person he'd become as Bookman's apprentice.

For a bookman to not trust himself meant inevitable failure. And despite his aching heart, the wretched pain in his chest, he didn't desire to completely throw away a lifetime of hard work and perseverance. No, Lavi desired a compromise. But in the end he knew that if one didn't come… he'd probably choose Kanda.

Just like he was then as he hauled the little girl Belle up into his arms and ran off after his lover, not caring that he still had no idea where he'd put his Innocence, not caring that Kanda would be pissed, not caring for the pain from that night or the pain from when he'd twisted his ankle. All he cared about was ending this. Now.

Halting to a stop down a path, panting, looking around in a panicked manner, Lavi desperately tried to seek out the Japanese exorcist. He took a quick peek down at the child in his arms, who was still unconscious, making sure she was alright, at least, alright as she could possibly be. Lavi hated what she'd been through, but there wasn't much he could do about that except support her like the other exorcists. At least, for as long as he'd be at the Order.

As he continued his search, thoughts of Bookman's words kept ringing through his mind. No matter what he looked at, no matter what he heard as he ran, no matter what he felt against his skin, Lavi was reminded of those words, haunted by them, bitterly regretting letting himself feel emotions.

Allen, Krorykins, Lenalee, Miranda, Johnny, Reever, Komui, _Yu-chan_, he'd have to choose between them and his future as a bookman. All of them and all of the others. And if he was choosing Kanda and the rest of them now, he continuously felt the horrible urging that he'd possibly choose them later as well. Lavi didn't want to regret, but he could feel regret would come no matter which he chose. Compromise truly wasn't so easy, but maybe, just maybe, there'd be the slight hope of it.

That was the wish he kept in his heart as the cold breeze of winter hit the exposed skin of his neck and face. Everything was a hell of a lot colder for Lavi without his trusty scarf, not to mention he felt all the less confident without his Innocence. Still he pushed onward, keeping his optimism up. When one lived such a lifestyle, optimism was a key factor for survival.

Lavi could feel a burning sensation in his chest, but he could tell it wasn't anything more than anxiety. He couldn't find Kanda, thus he was becoming scared. And as he came out to the area where the large pond was that he almost drowned in, things were way too quiet. That eerie kind of quiet you'd only hear when… things just weren't right.

Lavi had to jump out of the way when his thoughts were interrupted by a sword swishing by his face. He gasped and landed on his side, trying his best to protect the child from receiving any injuries from the fall. Lavi's green eye flicked up, filling with dread. "Oh, God, no, please…"

The creepy laughter that slipped past Kanda's lips only added to the feeling of terror. "What's wrong, La? Don't you love this man? I bet you can't kill _him_." The older exorcist's voice had a strange tone to it, and Lavi could immediately tell what had happened. His worst thought was true after all.

"God, why? Why would you possess him again? He's been through enough. Please… let him go," Lavi begged, sitting up enough to get a better look at the taken over man. Thus far it seemed the akuma hadn't done any damage to Kanda's body, which was a relief to Lavi, however, there was no telling what that cursed maid was planning to do next. And with Kanda under her control, it was in fact difficult for Lavi. He could _not_ kill him. Never.

"Hah! And you think I'd really do that?" the akuma purred through Lavi's lover, a wicked smile perking the man's cheeks up. "With him, I have you completely under my control too, La. You can't touch me." He began to walk toward the younger, Mugen clenched half-heartedly. "But I can touch you."

This would certainly not work out no matter which way it was put, and the redhead knew that. He narrowed his eye, completely fed up, and gently set the little girl Belle against a nearby tree. "And what exactly do you plan to do then, now that you've got my attention? You know that I won't love you. So let Yu-chan go and just stop dragging this out like a miserable psychopath." He rose, brushing his coat off a bit, then ventured away from Belle. Without his Innocence, Lavi wasn't in the position to threaten.

"He, he, he, actually, La, I am well aware of that." 'Kanda' continued toward Lavi until he was stopped right in front of him, their faces only inches apart. This startled Lavi, considering how he had no weapon aside from the concealed knives he kept hidden away. "But you love _him_, don't you? If you won't love me, what's wrong with me becoming him? Yah! Ha, ha, ha!"

That's it, this creature had just about lost every single 'brain cell' it had. Scratch that, it _did_ lose every one. Did it really believe this could work? Perhaps it did, because when Lavi started to laugh uncontrollably, the possessed Kanda's eyes narrowed darkly.

"I don't see what's so funny, La," the akuma ground out, holding back the urge to strike. "I was being completely serious."

With a shake of his head, Lavi gave the other a sympathetic look. "You're far too desperate for me, don't you think? Why don't you just let it rest now?" He stepped scarcely closer, brushing a hand over the face of his lover, moving in to whisper by his ear. "After all, Yu-chan seems very possessive of what's his, I'm pretty sure he won't let you have me now that we…" A pause.

The possessed man's fists clenched, and the akuma that seized control of him became more bitter. In fact, Kanda's body was trembling, as if the creature was struggling to keep its cool. "You _what_?" The words flew into the air in venom.

"Ah? What was I saying again?" Lavi's voice was a tease despite how he realized this was definitely not a very good idea. At least for the most part. However, if things went the way he planned, Lavi was more than certain he could get Kanda back with his sudden plan. "Oh, that's right. Yu-chan and I… we _fucked_."

The out-of-the-blue pain that went through Lavi's stomach didn't connect with his brain's processing ability right away. In a matter of fact, he was on the ground and in shock, elbows keeping his back off the dirt a bit, eye wide in shock before he even registered that he'd been kicked and knocked down. Okay, so his plan wasn't working out the way he wanted it to.

"Do you think that is something wise to say, La?!" Spitting in anger, the akuma forced the body it was controlling to point the Innocence in hand to Lavi's throat. There wasn't the slightest sign of mercy or regret in Kanda's expression, meaning he was being completely controlled.

On the ground Lavi felt dizzy, unable to push himself back up right away due to the intensity of the blow. However he did manage to do just as much after a bit, forcing his legs to, despite his off-balance body, push him to stand. "No, matter of factly, I don't." His simple answer was perhaps a bit too blunt.

The akuma hissed, eyes narrowing. "Then why the hell would you utter such nonsense?! You know it will make me mad, La, and I don't want to be mad at you!"

But Lavi did not care deep within if the creature was pissed at him or not. If Kanda was unharmed, he could not possibly care, and for the time being the older man was. That could quickly change, Lavi realized, as he eyed the emotions being displayed on his lover's face by the monster possessing him. Who knows what she would do to him if Lavi did not cooperate?

"Personally, I don't really care if you're mad at me, but please," Lavi paused, green hued orb filling with anxiety for multiple reasons before he continued with, "don't hurt him." Whether it be his own fear for Kanda's safety or plain paranoia, Lavi was about ready to scream. Normally he'd be able to think of a thousand ways to change this situation around to put it in his own favor, but somehow his mind was running on empty and his chest swelled with emotional pain more distracting than the physical he could feel all over his belly still.

A hiss and stomp of a foot brought the redhead back to reality as he watched the akuma possessing his boyfriend step toward him. 'Kanda' narrowed his eyes, tone cold -- though that was not something Lavi wasn't used to, as both Kanda's eyes and tone of voice were usually just as icy when Kanda was himself. "Is that all you care for now, La? This man? What the hell has happened to you?!"

Momentarily Lavi wondered the same things, looking away with a spacey expression. But just as quickly an answer came, many answers actually that cleared up some other things too, and his features all melted into a sweet candy-coated mess. He turned back, smiling pleasantly. "As stupid as it sounds… I fell in love, that's what. Weren't you paying attention to my lil' speech? And while he's not the _only_ thing I care for, he's pretty high up there." Honest spoken words spilled from Lavi's lips, and he forgot for the moment the situation.

He forgot the akuma possessing his lover, taunting him, angry at him, jealous of the feeling he felt for the person she was controlling; he forgot the precious little girl Belle, who was resting off to the side from them, protected by her Innocence; he forgot they were outside, the whistling of a light wind blowing by their ears; and, most of all, he forgot he was Bookman's apprentice, that he and Kanda were exorcists, and that they were no where near 'home.'

Lavi lunged himself forward, the only thing he could hear being the sound of his own heart rapidly pumping blood through-out his veins, a rush of adrenaline resulting from his own emotions. Where he ended up, was smack-dab against Kanda, Lavi's long arms clenching tightly around the older of the two's back, fingers digging in. The possessed body's mouth opened to speak, but no words were allowed out.

"I love you, Yu-chan." For the first time he was able to speak his heart sincerely, completely aware of what he was saying, unlike his 'speech,' which had been mainly just to get the akuma off his back. The gentle whisper was almost lost in the breeze due to how quiet it really was, and the soft clashing of lips silenced any words that were being attempted again, causing stillness between the two bodies.

For what seemed like minutes and minutes, they merely stood there, until Lavi finally pulled back slowly, expression filled with last bits and pieces of hope and a pure loneliness. Loneliness because he was afraid, afraid he'd lose the one person he considered 'his own.' And that was something Lavi could not handle.

"I love you so much, Yu-chan," he continued, praying deep within his mind that his words could be heard by _Kanda_, not only the akuma possessing him. "I really, really do. I couldn't say it to you while looking you in the eyes before, but now I can! And I know I'm a fucking idiot that never shuts up, trust me, I get it I'm annoying as hell, but I truly care about you. I'd change if you wanted me to, if it really bothers you that much. Because I can't… I just…"

"Che, you're right about one thing, rabbit, you really don't shut up…" Lavi's only visible eye grew wide, and the dark bluish black ones staring at Lavi's face looked annoyed. But it was a strange and 'gentle' annoyance, not like the expressions Kanda wore when he was about ready to gut someone. "Fuck, I feel stiff, that damned akuma! It's such a goddamn nuisance to be controlled by that thing, you have no idea--"

"Yu-chan!" Lavi cried, squeezing the older of the two like he was a teddy bear. Kanda did _not_ like that, but he made no effort to push the childlike exorcist away. "Oh, thank God! Is it really you this time? This isn't some sort of trick?"

Kanda rolled his eyes, this time shoving the younger away. "As if it's some trick, apparently that thing's control over me got screwed up when you kissed me. It happened when it made me kiss you the very first time. That… well… Tch." He quickly turned away, clearly embarrassed at how the control over him had been broken. Certainly this proved Kanda was good at keeping his face from darkening red the way Allen's or Lenalee's would, however.

A pondering aura suddenly shrouded the redheaded exorcist as he thought about Kanda's words just then. That made sense! The akuma liked Lavi, right? Then if it got embarrassed and such every time it kissed Lavi through Kanda, certainly it made sense the control over its host would break. A deep sigh of relief escaped Lavi's lips. "Really, I'm so relieved… but where exactly is that maid now?"

There unfortunately wasn't any time for celebrations or relief or any of that, because the very akuma that had been causing non-stop trouble for them was still out there, plotting God-knows-what next. If they were going to end all of this mayhem like they'd both planned, they'd have to finish _her_ off.

"Che, who knows? Probably hiding somewhere in these damned woods." Kanda readied Mugen and got really quiet, trying to listen for any sort of suspicious noises. Lavi got the gist almost immediately, and he too didn't say anything or make movements that would cause too much noise. And surely enough, a suspicious noise happened in the form of a flock of birds that suddenly flew from the trees to the East, squawking like no tomorrow. That was the akuma's giveaway of itself.

She came flying out of the woods, screaming in anger, guns blazing at them. Kanda quickly jumped in front of the defenseless Lavi, blocking every bullet with his Innocence, peeking off to the side to make sure Belle was even out of harm's way. "Damnit, Lavi, where the hell is your Innocence?! I can't defend you like this and slice that thing in half at the same time!"

"I know," Lavi responded, annoyed with the ordeal himself. "I can't put my finger on where it is. I know that's a damn stupid move, because it's pretty helpless itself without me, but--"

Something came from Lavi's right, directly at him, interrupting his words, and he almost mistook it as something the akuma had thrown. Fortunately, it was just the opposite. Belle was awake, her wounds appearing as if they were barely there, which surprised Lavi to say the least, and she gave a soft smile to both him and Kanda. As for the thing she had thrown…

"My hammer!" Lavi shrieked with joy, hugging it in a childish manner. Kanda rolled his eyes at him and shook his head, Lavi just chuckled. "Sooo, as I was saying! I have my Innocence, let's go--"

Yet again he was interrupted. Except, this time, it wasn't the friendly little girl they'd found in the old mansion. The akuma hissed angrily, causing Belle to move out of the way again, hiding out behind a tree. "LA! You'll regret the day you ever set foot here!" the maid growled, venomous aura emitting from her body.

"Why? Because you couldn't have your own way with me? Grow some brains." The redhead snorted at her, his hammer expanding in his hand, and he stepped up beside Kanda instead of behind him. "Hey, Yu, want to see how long this takes _now_?"

Kanda grunted. "What are you getting at, rabbit?" he asked, not taking his eyes away from the akuma as he spoke. "You're still going to always be in my way, especially after this incident."

"So cold!" Lavi laughed, twirling his Innocence a bit, feeling all the more better and confident now that he had it back. How _did_ Belle get a hold of it? Well, it didn't really matter right then, he was just grateful to have the mallet back. "Anyway, let's see who ends it first. We'll make a bet on it." Kanda gave him a look briefly as if asking what the hell the point of that was, his gaze quickly diverting back to the monster after only a few seconds. "Because it makes things fun after all the 'hell' we've been put through this mission. No stakes, only betting."

"You are such a child," Kanda muttered. "Fine, you can have your bet, but I don't really give a damn. We need to stop talking and just--" Both shut their traps to block the onslaught of bullets coming at them.

"La! I'll kill you, I'll kill both of you! You can turn to dust together! _Die_!" A lunatic's laughter flew through the air, making for an even creepier setting than the scene already was. The akuma smirked evilly -- at least until it noticed its bullets had no effect due to Kanda and Lavi blocking them.

The akuma yelled out in frustration, an awful, wretched cry of annoyance. And then it lunged at them, guns firing wildly again, causing the two men to glare and get ready to attack her when she got close enough… but suddenly the creature froze in mid-air. Its guns drooped, its eyes went wide, and its entire body trembled lightly. Kanda and Lavi could only stare in confusion. Was it trying to trick them?

"M-my precious child… w-why…?" The akuma had turned its head to look, spotting little Belle close by it, her Innocence having been activated.

The child smiled softly, simply stating, "Because I love you and big sis, mama. Please rest in peace again." After she finished those words, she pulled back her Innocence, which had shaped itself into an ice dagger and stabbed the akuma through the 'heart,' then turned her weapon into a shield. The explosion of the akuma turning to dust occurred shortly after, and the child waved at her mother's smiling soul as it disappeared toward the sky. Then, grinning despite the tears in her eyes, Belle waved to Kanda and Lavi.

Both men were standing there, eyes slightly wide, surprised to say the least. They exchanged glances, then Lavi laughed and wandered to Belle, returning her grin. Kanda couldn't quite sort out in his head why they were grinning, and now suddenly _laughing_ together, but then, he'd rather not know probably.

"Hey, hey, Yu, isn't it funny?" Lavi asked, much against Kanda's personal wishes he'd neglected to express. "After all that trouble we went through, and this kid here comes out of no where to easily beat that thing! To boot, it was her own mum in her sis' body. I'm wondering how the hell she worked up that courage! Isn't that ironic?"

Kanda rolled his eyes and Belle suddenly frowned a bit. "Oh, uh, I didn't truly know what to do, but this…" She grasped her Innocence. "…somehow made me feel that it'd be okay, and mama's best at peace again. I… I miss her again, and I miss big sis." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Was that really… the right thing to do?"

Much to Lavi's surprise, Kanda was the one to place a hand on the child's shoulder first, but his ever-sour face hadn't become any less of just that. His tone wasn't much better either. "If you're going to bitch about it and regret it, what the hell was the point of you doing it to begin with? God, I hate kids." Belle's eyes, and Lavi's, opened up more at the same time.

"Yu! That's not the way to talk to a kid!" Lavi scolded, smacking the older on the back of the head with a hand. In return, Kanda whipped around, Mugen in hand, and shot his Hell's Insects at the redhead, causing Lavi to yelp and run away. However, despite how funny it was at first, Lavi's already injured ankle 'screamed' and the man winced, falling to his knees. "Ow, ow!"

Feeling somewhat guilty, though he'd deny it to no end, Kanda sighed and called the demonic bugs back as he ventured over to Lavi while watching Belle rush by him first. "Your ankle?" Kanda questioned, tipping his head a bit.

"Yeah. Oh, thank you, Belle, but I'm okay." Lavi patted the child on the head, who was trying to get a look-see at his ankle, but she quickly let go of his boot when told that. "You don't have to be so shy though, we're your comrades now."

"Y-yes," Belle said with a nod, cheeks flushing a bit. "U-um… we should probably… leave now?"

"Ah, but don't you want your doll?" When the little girl reached inside a big pocket on her dress that she'd apparently sewed on by herself for convenience (from the looks of it anyway), and pulled out that very toy, Lavi chuckled. "Oh, never mind then."

The wind had picked up only a bit, and Lavi took a moment to breathe in the fresh, cool air, then heaved a small sigh. It was finally over. If he had to say, this had been one of the most difficult missions he'd ever been on, aside from the huge one on the Earl's ark. "Alright, guys, let's go," he said, limping his way down the pathway that lead back out to the main path. Lavi wasn't really surprised when Kanda came up behind him, jabbing his sheathed sword into Lavi's back.

"Oi, baka usagi, you don't plan to actually walk all the way back, do you?" Lavi stopped and turned to look at his comrade. A dubious look was on Kanda's face, which only made Lavi chuckle a little.

A wicked smirk erupted on Lavi's face, and he beamed out, "Mm, well, unless you want to give me a piggyback?" Oh, Lavi'd really like that. Being slumped over Kanda's lean back, clinging to his neck, breathing in that scent he suddenly was so fond of. Yes, that would be wonderful!

"Bastard, I meant your Innocence and you know it!" Kanda snapped in response, glaring. "Use that hammer of yours to fly us back to the inn! Don't think I'll be all lovey-dovey with you now simply because we… well, you get it. Don't think I've become soft!"

Lavi gave a nod and laughed, causing Belle to giggle too, and Kanda suddenly felt outnumbered by a bunch of idiots. Then again, when was he ever not? This child was just another one to add to the many already at the Order. But somehow, a part of him, a teeny-weeny part, didn't mind. Or maybe that 'unpleasant' feeling was just his imagination corrupting his mind.

--

"Lavi! Kanda!" Allen yelled ecstatically as he waved, much to Lavi's delight, Lavi's orange scarf around multiple times. "You're okay! Thank God! And… who's this cutie?" Allen flashed Belle a smile, and the child blushed and curtsied to him.

"This is Belle," Lavi said, gesturing a hand at her, "and she'll be joining us on our way back to the Order." Belle smiled and Lavi patted her head. "Anyway, where in the heck were you all this time, kid?! We've been worried sick!"

Kanda glared at Lavi, and Lavi knew exactly why. The oldest of the exorcists probably got annoyed at how Lavi made it appear like all three of them were worried for Allen's sake in Lavi's little question. But Lavi knew deep down, that despite that look, Kanda was probably even the slightest bit worried for Allen. They may have fought a lot, but Kanda and Allen did at least care for each other deep down as rivals, possibly friends. Allen's worry for Kanda's well-being back during their mission on the Earl's ark was proof of that on Allen's part. And as for Kanda, well, Lavi hadn't been awake to hear his speech about 'Alma,' had he?

Allen let loose a small sigh and placed a hand on his own forehead, as if exhausted, and certainly he indeed looked just that. His uniform had some nicks and cuts in the fabric here and there, and his boots had become quite scuffed up. "I had a run-in with a level 3," the boy murmured, rubbing his temple. "It was pretty hard to fight it and defend the finder at the same time while a few level 1's and 2's showed up as well, but we pulled through alright."

Lavi's mouth dropped open in a gape. They had gone through so much trouble with simply one level 2, yet Allen had ran into a level 3, plus some 1's and 2's? The redhead suddenly felt a bit guilty. "You should've contacted us! If we'd known, we would've come to help!" he shouted.

"You should've too! Anyway, I tried to, but somehow I wasn't getting through to you," the white-haired teen said, frowning. "Isn't that right, Timcanpy?" The yellow bird-winged golem had plopped itself on Allen's head, and gave a 'nod' with its entire body.

"Oh, strange." Lavi tapped a finger on his chin with an inquiring look. "Maybe the latest upgrades aren't as good as Komui thought. We'll have to let him know about that."

Belle had wandered over to the finder by the time the two had finished chatting, trying to talk to him to maybe calm him down as he looked incredibly nervous and frightened despite the akuma being long gone. Lavi glanced over at them, examining Belle from afar, confused still by how her wounds had seemingly shrank. Or perhaps they weren't as bad as they first appeared to be, and her Innocence had somehow cleaned up the blood and prevented the wounds from getting worse? Strange, but not unheard of. Perhaps she really was another 'exception.'

Kanda was the one to take Lavi's attention off that as he walked up beside him, thwacking him on the back of the head -- but he did take care enough not to do it too hard, which made Lavi grin. He didn't say anything about it though. "Hey, Yu, what's up?" A sweet expression painted itself onto Lavi's features, overcoming the deviant one previously on the mongrel's face.

"Could we get going? I'm about ready to leave you all behind," the samurai muttered, tapping a foot impatiently into the dirt.

"Right, right, we're going, we're going," Lavi insisted, waving a hand. Then he turned to Belle and the finder, and yelled up to them. "Come on, you two, we're leaving!" Allen got the gist already himself, because he was walking along after Kanda, and he watched Belle and the finder rush up to Lavi.

Lavi started walking himself, but he quickly paused when Allen ran in front of him. "Oh, here, Lavi. Your scarf." The teenager handed it to the older man, and smiled. "I found it here at the inn. I wonder how it got all the way back here if you three were out there the entire time." Allen shrugged, and Lavi took the scarf in hand, shrugging back before tossing it over his shoulders.

And then he ran up behind Kanda, screeching a 'Boo!' that made the older stop in place and turn to glare. "What the hell do you want?" Kanda ground out, but the way his eyes were narrowed didn't scare Lavi as much as it used to at times.

"Just wanted to say…" He paused, leaning in to whisper by Kanda's ear. "…that mansion won't be the last place where we have super hot sex more than likely." And with a hum, the younger by only a couple months 'skipped' away, leaving a dumbfounded Kanda to simply stand there, cheeks lightly tinged with the embarrassment he simply couldn't hold back anymore.

Ahead of the two by now, Allen, Belle and the finder had made a conversation themselves. Allen had began asking the girl about what had happened, about her Innocence, about her, etc, and he of course felt bad that yet another kid was involved in the war. But he had made a note to Belle about Timothy, who she might get along with quite well considering the closer age range.

Belle went on about asking Allen what the Order was like, about the other exorcists beside Timothy and the three of them she'd already met, about the Earl, about Innocence, about all those types of things. Her curious little mind spoke of how smart and mature she was for her age, but she was still a child and didn't understand many of the things Allen himself had finally just gotten. It was to be expected, and Allen kindly tried to help as best as he could.

"Lavi, she's really cute, I'm sure Lenalee and everyone else are going to adore her," Allen called with a grin. "I'm just feeling awful though seeing how young she is…"

"Oh, yeah, I know," Lavi responded, sighing. "It's alright though, she's a pretty tough kid. It's also a little strange that when she got injured, she appeared to have a pretty bad wound, just not fatal, yet now she's walking around as if it's nothing." He shoved his hands behind his head, pondering. "I think it might have something to do with her Innocence."

Allen nodded and noticed the child slow ahead of them to walk with them instead as she'd been walking on her own for a little bit. "I'm really scared, La," she said softly, going to Lavi's side. "I wonder what's going to happen now…"

"It's okay, we all get that way. It's a war, Belle, wars are always scary. Trust me, I especially know, being a bookman that chases them." The redhead shot Belle a reassuring smile, but her face still looked doubtful, flashing the fears that even all the adults at the Order had. Lavi sighed, shaking his head. He'd keep trying then…

Belle, out of the blue, stopped to stare back at Kanda, who was close behind them. Kanda glanced up at her as well, giving a slightly blank stare. Belle took a look at Lavi, then at Kanda, then at Lavi again, and a sweet smile appeared on her lips. "Actually, it's okay," she said calmly, nodding her head. "I'm sure that as long as Mr. Kanda and La are there, I'll be okay. I like them very much, especially together!" She began to laugh in a silly way, causing Lavi and Kanda to flush ever so lightly, though Lavi quickly joined her in her amusement.

Allen looked at all three in confusion, silently trying to understand what in the world was so funny or what Belle was getting at. As far as Allen was concerned, whenever Kanda and Lavi were together, Lavi teased the heck out of Kanda which always pissed the ever-sensitive Japanese off. Was it truly that amusing to the child? Or… was it something else?

As the group of five left the area and the inn and that old mansion behind, and traveled down the pathway that lead to the main roads to the nearby town, Allen pondered and pondered. He knew if he dared to ask Kanda about the incidents, he'd deny everything and get angry. And Belle, well, the child seemed to be good at keeping secrets. As for Lavi, he was a jokester and bookman, he'd tease Allen about it and keep it stashed away in his mind.

Allen whined ever so softly, and murmured, "Is there something you three aren't telling me?" But that was the last he brought up of it, especially when the three didn't respond in a 'positive' way; Lavi and Belle were laughing more, and Kanda was muttering to himself.

Because of this, Lavi took a moment to recall what had happened during their time there, from his dream all the way until the end of the actual mission. And as he breathed the cold winter air deep into his lungs, releasing it slowly, he grinned. How in the hell was he supposed to explain this one to that old panda?


	14. Epilogue

SS: Here's the epilogue I mentioned. Thanks again for reading this fanfic!

Disclaimer: I don't own DGM and I don't make money off of this story. It's purely created out of my love for the characters.

--

**Epilogue**

"Hey, Yu, how's it going?" a friendly voice asked, followed by a particular redheaded exorcist making his way outside the Order's thick brick walls and into the small courtyard it contained out back. "From the looks of things, you've been doing nothing but train all morning!"

"Shut up," Yu Kanda snapped, his training weapons being tossed aside as he walked toward the 'idiot' he felt himself not minding as much. _As much_. "What, have you been watching me again, you creepy rabbit?" He tipped his head a bit, a slightly sour look on his face, but accepted the towel the other man had handed him to dry off his neck and face.

Lavi waved a hand. "Meh, I've got better things to do than watch you all the time," the bookman said jokingly. "But why shouldn't I? I mean, you're pretty sexy when you train all hard like this. If you weren't so scary, all the ladies in the Order would watch you all the time, drooling their mouths dry." Lavi broke out in a snicker, and Kanda 'tch'd.

"As if I'd like that, that would piss me off and distract me anyway." When the Asian finished wiping the sweat off his body, he tossed the towel back at Lavi, and it landed right on the younger's face, much to Lavi's own disapproval. Kanda only smirked in a deviant manner when Lavi whined and pulled it off. "What? It's _my_ sweat, I thought you'd enjoy it."

"That's disgusting, Yu," Lavi groaned, tossing the towel aside onto the training equipment. "I mean, yeah, it's sexy sometimes, but today, I'm just… y'know, not in the mood."

Kanda had started gathering things together, putting most of the swords far below Mugen's standards away, but he paused to look up at the redhead. "Not in the mood today? What happened? Did you and Timothy get in trouble again for walking in on Lenalee and the other women changing?" Kanda was amused, Lavi was not.

"Ahh, no, but please don't remind me of that. She's still upset about it, and I hate seeing her upset." Indeed Lavi still had a crush on Lenalee, but deep down, he always figured her and Allen were far more compatible with Lavi's duties as a bookman and a million other reasons. But then, that reminded him of his wonder of how he and Kanda ended up together when the two of them were even less compatible. Perhaps they weren't as incompatible as Lavi'd originally thought?

"Then what happened?" Kanda's question snapped Lavi out of his thoughts, and the redhead chuckled and shook his head. Kanda only glared. "Tell me or I'm leaving."

"N-no, don't leave!" Lavi flailed his hands and sighed, embarrassed. "Yeesh, well if you really want to know…" He bit his lip, then took in a deep breath as if nervous to tell Kanda, before finally saying what he was going to say. "I think Allen knows." Before Kanda could speak, Lavi added, "About us."

Kanda's eyebrows twitched in an annoyed manner, and he kicked some of the training equipment -- not that he cared it wasn't even his, not his problem. "As if that beansprout knowing bothers me. If he slips up with his mouth and tells anyone, I'll kill him, plain and simple." Yu Kanda hadn't earned his reputation around the Order for bluffing, that was almost for certain, so he meant business with that statement. That was why Lavi had been hesitant about saying anything.

A small sigh slipped past the bookman-in-training's lips. "Now, now, Yu, don't be so violent. The kid's our comrade and all. Though I admit, I'm more worried about how I'm going to explain all of this to gramps still. Bookman won't be pleased if he finds out I'm in a relationship, especially one with you, not just that you're a guy." Lavi shot Kanda a grin as he spoke that last sentence.

Kanda snorted. "Gee, thanks. I appreciate it," he mumbled in sarcasm. Then he sighed. "I do understand, as much as I hate to admit. I have no idea how to nor desire to speak about this to that old fucking bastard. I hope he stays away from me and doesn't find out."

"Who, Tiedoll?" Lavi asked with amusement, pretty sure Kanda wasn't referring to Lavi's own master.

"Yes. God, I hate that about him! How nosy he is, it pisses me off. You're so damn lucky I was training or I'd have taken it out on you with how he was up my ass this morning."

"One, what do you mean by that? And two, can you go five minutes without cursing?"

One of Kanda's eyes twitched, and he didn't respond to the first comment. "Why the hell would I want to considering I'm surrounded by all of you so often?"

"Heh, heh, good ol' Yu," Lavi snickered, shaking his head. "But you know, you shouldn't be so grumpy, it's no good for your health. Besides, you--" But Lavi didn't get a chance to finish that sentence, his lips suddenly getting wrapped up with another set, dark eyes staring into his one green iris and at his patched eye. Lavi moaned in a short, pleasured manner, willingly welcoming, even _cherishing_, the tongue that pressed its way inside his mouth.

Kanda's arms snuck their way around Lavi, one hooking over his slender yet-still-boyish hips, the other under the younger's arm and around his upper back to keep him 'trapped' in place. The Asian wasted no time in completely seducing the man in front of him, carefully making sure he did everything right just to drive Lavi mad. Which he was. Oh-so-very-much.

Simply as quickly however, Lavi broke the spell that had been placed upon him as he pressed both hands to the other's shoulders, pushing him back. There was a moment where the two exorcists merely stared at each other's faces, taking in the flushes only the both of them could see. It was like a secret code between them that only they knew.

"Say, Yu," Lavi said with a happy tone, smirking defiantly, "I'm still curious about when we go for round five." There was a certain air between the two bodies that formed then, giving the atmosphere a 'hot' sensation. When Lavi spoke his next words, he pretended to sound angry, when in reality he was not. "We're tied when it comes to who climaxes first."

"Well, obviously in the end, I'll win," Kanda retorted, a dark glimmer in his eyes, an even eviler smile perking his cheeks than the one on Lavi's face. Although they were tied in that romance situation, when it came to such battles of being 'darker,' Kanda always won.

Lavi huffed, crossing his arms and looking away with a pouting expression. "Oh, really? We'll just have to see about that."

Since they'd returned to the Order from 'that particular mission,' they'd _done it_ three times, something Lavi was surprised by considering Kanda's nature. Before their third time, in a joking manner Lavi had said their first five 'rounds' of sex would decide who was better at concentration, so Kanda graciously let him turn it into a little game to, of course, prove a point. Much to Kanda's _own_ surprise, by the end of the fourth round they were at a tie, 2-2, with who climaxed first.

There wasn't a shred of doubt between the two of who would win their game, however. In a matter of fact, both the Asian and mongrel believed themselves to be the victor in the end, well before they even made it past the second, third, and fourth rounds. Lavi was overconfident. Kanda was stubborn. Whoever came out victorious would assuredly be mocking the other in a joking manner, Lavi being the one who'd do it more so.

Both Lavi and Kanda gave each other another 'look,' which made Lavi snort. "Well, anyway, may the best man win!" the redhead shouted with a laugh, but his face quickly turned serious. "Though Yu, I have something else I need to address you about."

"What?" Kanda asked, taking a seat on a nearby bench. "Is this yet again about you possibly leaving the Order if your Innocence evolves?" The younger followed after him, taking a seat as well, and chuckled. "I figured as much. Look, I told you, idiot, I'd probably follow you since I have nothing better to do and personally can't stand it here as is."

"Yeah, but," Lavi started, wrapping an arm around the back of Kanda's shoulders and resting his hand on the actual shoulder, "you realize you'd have to abandon your duties as an exorcist, right? Isn't that all there is for you? Somehow, I don't think you could--"

"Tch. All there is for me? What exactly do you think you know about me that I don't? I don't care for my duties, really. Besides, Cross managed to avoid the Order all that time while still keeping his Innocence, I'm sure I'd be able to as well. And if there comes a time I need repairs, Komui is good at keeping secrets." Kanda glanced to the side at the bookman with strong, self-assured eyes. "You piss me off, but… I'd like to keep seeing you, I suppose."

_But what about your tattoo?_ was what Lavi wanted to ask, alas, it remained in his mind as a silent question. Lavi placed a hand over his eye-patch a moment, then lowered his hand with a sigh. All of those worries and thoughts were unnecessary right at that moment, simply adding to stress. Right now, all that was important, was indulging in the minimal amount of rest they were gifted with.

And they did just that. Lavi leaned back against the bench, tipping his head back a tad as well, taking in the fresh, cool air as he stared up at the sky. Kanda crossed his arms, but also leaned against the back of the bench, enjoying the quietness of the courtyard. It was a beautiful, sunny winter day, which gave them both some feelings of ease, and they would keep on delighting in it.

Their worries left their minds, the somewhat tense atmosphere having cleared up quickly. Ah, yes, this was why Lavi loved being surrounded by nature so much back when he'd travel with Bookman. It truly, indefinitely, soothed the mind.

Off not too far away from them, peeping eyes had been watching the entire time. More specifically, those peeping sets of eyes had been hiding behind a small wall separating the courtyard from the garden. All of the stares were mixed with many things, the main one being surprise.

"I told you!" Allen 'shouted' in a whisper. "They fell for each other during the mission! Those two! I knew it!"

Lenalee blushed madly, looking down as if she believed she were invading their privacy with this act of spying. Krory was blushing as well, but tears were swelling in his eyes at being reminded of his one true love not being in this world anymore. Miranda, also blushing, couldn't help watching as much as she could, a bit drawn in by the similar aged men. Allen was the only one not extremely surprised -- but he was very well embarrassed.

The other exorcists, including the generals, were doing their own thing around the Order, less Belle and Timothy being out on a mission. The finders and science workers were busy doing their own things as well. No one else was around to spy _except_ Allen, Lenalee, Miranda, and Krory in other words.

"A-ah…" It was Krory to first break the small silence between them all, eyes still threatening to pour water any second. He lifted his head dramatically, hands trembling as he clutched the top parts of his own arms. "L-Lavi… he found love?" he sobbed. "Th-that is… j-just like… Eliadeeeeeee!"

There was no point trying to get Krory out of his Eliade fits, so the other three didn't even attempt. Instead they gave him quick sympathetic looks before going back to the topic at hand. Krory would snap out of it on his own anyway.

"It-it's actually… sweet," Miranda added despite her embarrassment as she looked to Allen and Lenalee. Miranda herself had never seen two men this way, so it was a lot to take in. Though since she was in her mid-twenties, the topic in general wasn't unheard of. "I didn't think Mr. Lavi would end up with another man though…"

"Huh, yeah," Allen said, pressing a hand to his chin in wonderment. "He was so flirty with women all the time. I was under the impression that was all he was interested in. But come to think of it, Kanda _is_ pretty for a guy according to everyone, so maybe that has something to do with it. I can't help but be curious though, was Lavi's flirtyness with women all a cover?"

"Of course not!" Lenalee practically shouted, the other three surrounding her looking taken aback. The teenage girl quickly had to quiet her voice in fear of them all being discovered. That certainly wouldn't go over well had that happened, with Kanda especially. It was already shocking enough they hadn't been noticed yet with Kanda's and Lavi's instincts.

"Um, what I mean is…" Lenalee spoke softly, trying her best to think of how to explain something. "Yes, they are both men, but… um…" She glanced toward the two 19-year-old's, a certain sweet twinkle in her eyes, even if she did feel odd for watching. "…perhaps love has no race, gender, or age? After all, it exists in many forms, like siblings and friends. I… I want to try to be open to other people… since we're all different…"

By the time the teenager had finished her little talk, the other three were left gaping, staring at her with admiring eyes. That girl was truly something to be saying such words. But then, with her overall kind, accepting, and understanding demeanor, it wasn't surprising.

Lenalee, when she turned her vision back to them, felt entirely embarrassed now, and her cheeks turned redder than the red on their newest uniforms. "It's just… I love all of you. You're my friends, and I want to do my best to accept you all as you are."

"L-Lenalee," came from Allen's mouth as he stared with a stunned expression, unsure of what to say exactly, "you're… very kind… A mind like yours is hard to find in this world…"

The Chinese girl blushed an even deeper shade of red at the compliments. "I-I… D-don't you agree though, Allen?" She paused, looking at Lavi and Kanda once more, then back at Allen. "About what I said?"

"Ah…" The white-haired teenager's eyes widened and he blushed as well, then nodded in agreement. "Of course!"

All four of them started to laugh softly amongst themselves, being careful not to be too loud. With all they'd been through, they could learn to accept the two men, Kanda and Lavi, as they were, even if at first it seemed terribly strange. Lenalee had reminded them they were all still friends, and that with the war they had to learn to accept new things anyway.

"B-but poor Lavi," Allen suddenly stated, still laughing a bit. "I mean, Kanda of all people. What bad luck."

"Allen," Lenalee huffed out in a scolding manner, crossing her arms, "that's not a nice thing to say."

"What?" The younger teenager shifted a bit and crossed his own arms, sticking his nose into the air. Like Allen would admit he thought the two somewhat fit together in terms of 'opposites attract.' Kanda was a jerk, but Lavi was pretty capable of putting up with it, even if he needed saving from Kanda sometimes. "He's a jerk, that Bakanda."

"Who even taught you that pun, Allen?" the Chinese girl asked with a small chuckle. "I wasn't aware that you knew any Japanese."

"A-ah!" Allen bit his lip. "Well, I have traveled a lot… Actually, Kanda was always calling me 'baka,' so I asked someone what that meant one day. And now I think 'Bakanda' suits him!" The other three exorcists began laughing again, and Allen blinked in confusion. "B-but it does! What's so funny?!"

"ACHOO!" Kanda rubbed his nose a bit, an annoyed expression covering his features, eyes scanning the area as if searching for something, but more specifically it appeared to be _someone_.

"You okay?" Lavi asked, sitting up and glancing at his lover. "Allergies? Even in the winter, there are plenty of things that can make you sneeze like that."

"I'm fine, it's not that," the Asian replied, eyes fixing on the nearby wall with the tiny gate that lead to the garden. Kanda himself loved to spend time in there when no one else was around. There was no way in hell he'd let the majority of people around the Order find out he liked gardening as a hobby though. "It's just, my sprout-killing senses are tingling for some reason."

Lavi burst out laughing and couldn't control himself, which earned him a glare. And when the redhead finally managed to calm himself a bit, he asked, the words still tied in with a small bit of laughter, "Your… _what_?"


End file.
